I don’t want DD to change her name.

[LemonBeachTowel]

DD is 13. She had recently been saying she wants to change her first name as it is “old fashioned” and says that with our surname it sounds like an old ladies name. I’m heartbroken as it is a name we picked for her because we loved it. We can’t really shorten her name and we’ve never used the associated nickname. I just can’t my head around calling her something else. AIBU to keep calling her by her name?

My name is Rose. It's an amazing name, honestly, I am convinced I get selected for things because of my name and I am always being complimented on it. Tell her that she will absolutely love it one day.

some odd replies here. At the end of the day she is entitled to think its old fashioned or dislike it if she wants OP, your opinion is your own, you aren't the authority on what is or is not a perfectly nice name she should be happy with. Maybe it is uncool where she goes to school? I assume she feels that its old fashioned compared to everybody else's at school and therefore makes her stick out or is uncool and feels worried about that.
It might be a phase or it might not, i would try to discuss with her whether she feels alienated at school etc and work on her self esteem with her rather than just arguing back that she is wrong and the name is beautiful and wonderful and meaningful. It is ultimately just a word.

There is no point wondering whether its a phase or not or deciding it is because time will tell won't it, nothing else will and nobody on the internet will.
I would also be honest with her that she can change it at 16 if she does want to, you will just have to manage your disappointment if she does; she is her own person.

I've always hated my name, and middle name. I pretended i didn't have a middle name in school, forgot about it all a little bit when i was old enough to change as couldnt be bothered and then finally changed the whole lot a few years ago and wish i had just done it sooner. My given names just did not match with who i felt i was, and i hated the rhetoric of my mother going on about having "given" me that name and so that's what it was. She too was awfully offended when i changed, suggested i had broken her heart and rejected her and must not care about her.

None of that is or was true, it had nothing in the slightest to do with her but she chose to believe that and i eventually went NC because of her endless guilting, comments about how ungrateful i was for the name ( foe goodness sake).

Why oh why do you let your children dictate to you? You are her parents, you chose her name, she has to live with it - we all do.

"You are her parents, you chose her name, she has to live with it - we all do."

Why?

That's not true though, is it? She can change it when she's older.

I wanted desperately when I was 13 to change my name to something else. (Moffat with an obsolete family surname, to be exact).

My parents said 'Sure. You can change your name legally by deed poll when you are 16'.

That satisfied me. Then when i was 16.... well I was over it by then.

@BertrandRussell - because parents have to have some control over their offspring.

I can't tell you how many ways I changed the spelling of my name when I was that age. Let her call herself what she wants to. You could have given her an optional middle name as that usually works. My grannies were Winifred and Doris, and thankfully, my parents didn't call me after their traditional names. Let her choose her own name - with a bit of luck it'll not be David or Lawrence...

Seems a bit weird to make this the hill to die on, though.

I was born in the early 50's and my parents picked a name that was very unusual in England at the time. I was okay with it while I live in England but for last 45 yrs I've lived in the U.S where my name is a sort of well trailer trash name. lol..

I met someone for the first time after speaking on the phone for ages and she said, "for some reason I imagined you as a dish water blonde". There you go - it's a trailer trash name.

Melanie?

When I was a girl, I wanted to change my name to Tiffany! 😂

Ooo that’s bad.

One of my DS went through this - I said of course you can change your name when you are 18. I continued to call him the name he was given at birth. He's forgotten all about it now, about 3 years later.

Find beautiful pictures of woman with the name rose, she will son change her mind. I love it, it's my middle name and I've called my own daughter it aswell

Haven't rtft but how about sie (said "cee") or extend it to "cee cee", or called by her initial R, (said "are").

Just remember that if she does change her name it needs to be done officially before she gains certificates/qualifications that she may rely on in the future if she is to avoid a lot of hassle.
Personallly I’d just tell your DD as others have suggested that she can change her name when she’s older, but it costs to do so. Meanwhile she can experiment with her friends.
I remember expressing dissatisfaction with my name to my mother at about 13 but never being able to decide on a name I felt comfortable with so the matter just got dropped. My DM didn’t express any negative views and that probably helped.

At 13 I wanted to be Gemma. Beautiful you say? Yes. Well. I wanted it be spelled Jemmah.

Glad my parents told me to do one

@ Jemmah

I remember a girl at school called Emma who briefly rebranded herself as Ema. I was (and still am) a massive pedant who really wanted to point out that they aren’t pronounced the same.

I knew a 13 year old called “Susan”, she used to cry about it she was so embarrassed by it and I felt sorry for her.
A friend of mine has a 7 year old called “Millicent” after her great Grandmother! Her parents insist on it being Millicent too, not Millie. Now that’s harsh!

Can she not use a derivative name from either of her names? Another option is to add a name - my daughter was asked when she was baptised if she wanted to take an extra name (she was 12)

I had to laugh at your great reveal... my DD decided she would no longer be called by her first name when she was 10, and would use her middle name, which she loves.

She is now called.... Rose! 🌹

Rose is such a beautiful name: it's classic and modern at the same time.

Evie is just too similar to Evil for my liking.

At that age, I wanted to be called Rosetta! 😆

Maybe let her use her preferred name at school but don't change it officially? Just try it out for a while?

Rose, Daisy or any other flower related name on a baby child is lovely but pretty excruciating on an adult, I wish people would think about these names on an adult before lumbering their off-spring with them.

Still, no I would not let a child change their name. I don't like my real name either but my name is my name.

I think Rose is lovely but maybe the best way is to think of a nickname she’s happy with.

I had a workmate Rose who went by Rory. Would that work? Or some kind of combination of first and middle name.

I hope you find a good compromise