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I don’t want DD to change her name.
372

LemonBeachTowel · 20/11/2018 15:38

DD is 13. She had recently been saying she wants to change her first name as it is “old fashioned” and says that with our surname it sounds like an old ladies name. I’m heartbroken as it is a name we picked for her because we loved it. We can’t really shorten her name and we’ve never used the associated nickname. I just can’t my head around calling her something else. AIBU to keep calling her by her name?

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AleFailTrail · 21/11/2018 19:01

Try living with Teresa. No H for a start. And then the perpetual Teresa Green through school. But now in my thirties, I love it

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Icanttakemuchmore · 21/11/2018 19:02

Don't like the name Rose. Also think it's old fashioned. I don't like my name either! But I can think of dozens of names I wouldn't want to be called too. My eldest doesn't like her name and everyone calls her a shortened version of it except very close family. Many people don't like the name they were born with but most just put up with it.

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Frazzledstar1 · 21/11/2018 19:07

I always hated my surname as a teenager and was desperate to change it, my parents were divorced so in wanted to change it to mums maiden name. I soon forgot all about it. I still particularly like it but can’t be bothered to do much about it. It’s probably a phase. If she seems determined perhaps tell her that if she still feels the same at 16/18 then she can change it

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ivykaty44 · 21/11/2018 19:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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ittakes2 · 21/11/2018 19:13

Has she thought about Rosie? Just let her try on a new name for size - its likely that her friends will think its weird and she changes back! Don't Make a big deal of it as it makes them want more!

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LG123 · 21/11/2018 19:16

I changed my name when I was 17. As pp's have said it is 16 without parental consent.

I don't regret it, but my family does refuse to call me by new name.

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bmbonanza · 21/11/2018 19:22

Tell her if she really wants to she can, but she will have to pay for it to be done legally.

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namechangeforthisobviously · 21/11/2018 19:24

I don’t really understand why nobody listened to me the first time I said this but

You don’t have to change your name by deed poll. You can just write a letter and get it witnessed by a solicitor or suchlike. It’s called a statuary declaration.

I did it when I was 14 and all my documents are now in my new name and have been for 30 years.

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Littlebighorn · 21/11/2018 19:26

Why not try it out as a family just at home first, and see how it goes? Or would she go for Ava Rose as a compromise?

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IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 21/11/2018 19:30

Ava is a lovely name FWIW

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Dumbfounded212121 · 21/11/2018 19:32

I hate my name too but can't be bothered with the hassle of changing it. Mines so short and boring and was very popular when I was small

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Shambu · 21/11/2018 19:33

She'll go off Evie by them time she's 21. It's ok for a girl but it's twee for a woman. And there are so bloody many of them.

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Genevieva · 21/11/2018 19:36

Is she old enough for the Dr Who series with Billie Piper playing Rose Tyler? She is a cool contemporary character.

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username1724 · 21/11/2018 19:46

Rose is a beautiful name! My dd is Ava and I still love her name 8 years in, it would break my heart for her to change it. I would say wait until shes an adult. I'd refuse to call my child the name they wanted to be called (unless it's a nickname or very similar name) until they were an adult if at all.

FWIW I detest my name. Always have done, I hate the way people say it, I still get embarrassed when people call it out, I wont let my oh use it.. but I'd still never change it. I wouldn't expect my parents to use a different name either..

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KatherinaMinola · 21/11/2018 19:59

That's a lovely name. The names she prefers are also nice, but so over-used - I guess that's why she likes them! At 13 you want to be like everyone else.

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Teacher22 · 21/11/2018 20:00

Thirteen years olds are a bit like this. If it wasn’t the name it would be something else. Don’t take it personally. My thirteen year old told me every single night how wonderful her best friend’s mother was.

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GabsAlot · 21/11/2018 20:04

i hated my name still not keen tell her she cn change it at 18

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tildaMa · 21/11/2018 20:05

their does seem to be some slight ribbing from the girls about the old lady from titanic?

Maybe also suggest some cool Roses who aren't old ladies?

  • Rose Tyler from Doctor Who,
  • Rose Weasley, daughter of Hermione & Ron,
  • Rose Hathaway from Vampire Academy,
  • maybe some young youtubers as well?
  • ...
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SkullPointerException · 21/11/2018 20:11

I hated my name as a teen. It's somewhat 'out there' and pretty clearly marks me out as the designated 'child born to hippie parents' in any given setting.

I love it now, though. Added bonus: I'm reasonably certain that I'm the only person ever to have lived with my particular first and last name combination - which has meant that "[email protected]", as well as "[email protected]", have always been mine and mine alone. No odd initials, no "[email protected]" for me.

I did change my last name as a teen, though. I was given my father's name at birth, as were most kids. By the time I was 15, I saw my father about twice a year and was working an after-school job to help support my family since our dad decided that paying child support for us just wasn't for him. I didn't want that man's name as my own, so I changed it to my mother's and I haven't regretted it for a second of my life.

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Bennyandthejetsssss · 21/11/2018 20:12

My friend hated hers, her and her friends used her brilliant nickname which lasted long into Uni. She changed it by deed poll.
But she took 15 years or so to consider it.

Maybe get her to respect your name choice while she's a kid and use whichever preference she has casually. Otherwise with your blessing - she may decide to change it every two years!!

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riotlady · 21/11/2018 20:14

I went through a lot of “i want to change my name!” as a kid and teen, I mostly got over it by using pretend names online. I don’t love my name now, but it’s fine and I have no plans to change it

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Mum4Blake · 21/11/2018 20:17

I go by my second name not my first - my parents had intended my names to be around the other way, until an uncle pointed out the “other” meaning of what would have been my initials.
Ive spent my life saying “it’s not it’s , however these days systems are getting better and capable of handling “known as” names a lot better than they used to.
Let her use a middle name, or even an alternative if it makes her happy. She doesn’t need to name change to do this - she can simply tell people that she wishes to be known as

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gimmeadoughnut123 · 21/11/2018 20:20

She will probably change her mind. I once had a friend called Donna. As teenagers, she hated her name, because was was named after a Doner Kebab her Dad ate while her Mum was in labour.

We are no longer in touch but about 13 years on, I'm fairly sure her name was never changed. So it might just be a phase.

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Buttonsareforever · 21/11/2018 20:22

My baby daughter is an Ava, but I bet in 13 years time she'll be telling me she wants to change her name cause it's naff. To which I'll reply 'Ok dear, I'll call you by your middle name from now on, ok Margaret?' 😂

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Ifeelsuchafool · 21/11/2018 20:24

The only thing is that people will be so used to calling her by the name you gave her and they will forget, really they will. I changed my known name from one diminutive of my given name to another because I hated the original diminutive but people still persist in calling me by the originally used diminutive, some by accident and some because it's the name they've always known me by and they, "don't see the point in changing and don't understand why they have to make an effort to remember" Hmm

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