I HAVE A BABY YOU KNOW!

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

Now, possibly we’ve all been there...

But AIBU to think that this woman yelling this at me on a station platform was just ridiculous and was IBU to laugh and say ‘that’s nice’.

Picture the scene, last week, crowded tube platform, rush hour, everyone trying to get home. Huge delays, a tube hasn’t been for about twelve minutes. Everyone is getting increasingly pissed off.

Woman with a small child in a buggy is getting pretty irate, sighing dramatically, muttering obscenities etc. She then pushes that ‘information’ button on the platform and when it gets picked up demands to know when the next train is coming (the board is already displaying 10 minutes)

Operator tells her ten minutes. She tells him that is disgusting, she’s got a child, they ought to be sending taxis operator clicks off.

She loses her shit, and screeches I ‘JUST WANT TO GET HOME!!’

I said, ‘yes, I’m pretty sure we all want that’ because she’s irritating me and the platform is chockablock so I cant move away.

She then yells ‘ I HAVE A BABY!!’

I sort of laughed incredulously and said ‘yes, that’s nice’

, I NEED TO GET HOME NOW! THIS IS NOT FAIR ON MY CHILD, I SHOULDNT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS!!’

Child (looked about a year or so so not a baby baby) sat impassively in buggy for the duration.

She didn’t get her taxi, but (rightly so) everyone moved aside when the train finally came so she did get on with the buggy. Lots of people didn’t and had to just wait for the next one.

She kept up with the dramatic sighing the entire way back though.

no, eliza, I don't. The point is, however, that we can understand why she might have done this, and cut her a little slack. I really don't understand how you need that explaining any further to you. You sound extremely unempathetic.

@EwItsAHooman That still doesn't make it ok to shout at other people.

She also shouldn't do that for her own safety. What if there was someone else there that had had an equally bad day and smacked her one for shouting at them? There are plenty of people around that won't tolerate being spoken to like that.

RiverTam Thu 22-Nov-18 12:44:03
no, eliza, I don't. The point is, however, that we can understand why she might have done this, and cut her a little slack. I really don't understand how you need that explaining any further to you. You sound extremely unempathetic

I'm not unempathetic but I think people should be able to go about their day without being abused during their commute. It's unacceptable to shout at people in this way.

show me where anyone was abused. The OP wasn't shouted at until she stuck her (also unempathetic, by her own admission) oar in. She could have helped or kept her nose out, she did neither but joined in making that woman's day just a little bit shitter than it already was.

and then came on MN to bitch about it.

You do know that the woman in question is on this thread? Why aren't you addressing your points to her?

So a stressed out mother in a horrible situation lost her shit, and you thought the best thing to do was make snide comments then start a thread on MN? Fuck sake.

show me where anyone was abused.

I said, ‘yes, I’m pretty sure we all want that’ because she’s irritating me and the platform is chockablock so I cant move away.

She then yells ‘ I HAVE A BABY!!’

I sort of laughed incredulously and said ‘yes, that’s nice’

I NEED TO GET HOME NOW! THIS IS NOT FAIR ON MY CHILD, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS!!’

The op should have to put up with being shouted at. The rest of the commuters shouldn't have to put up with hearing it. Just because she was stressed out doesn't mean she can go around shouting at people. Imagine if everyone else did that when they were stressed.

And if this woman is on this thread then she should come back and explain why she thinks she's so much more important than the other 1000's of people that travel on public transport and also why she thought it was acceptable to shout at people.

Basic gist of the OP: "I see you're stressed out and losing your shit under pressure, please allow me to make that worse for you with this specially prepared sarcastic remark."

If the OP had kept her mouth shut she wouldn't have provoked someone who was already visibly tense. Then to make sure she really stuck the boot in, she came on MN and posted about it all in an easily identifiable way so that she could score points for her witty comeback and we could all have a good old laugh at the frazzled woman who thinks her baby makes her important Hahahaha wasn't it funny when she shouted? Hahahahahaha, aren't mother's silly when they can't cope with life?

Bull fucking shit.

Like RiverTam said, if someone is clearly having a shit day why make it shittier?

She loses her shit, and screeches I ‘JUST WANT TO GET HOME!!’ I said, ‘yes, I’m pretty sure we all want that’ because she’s irritating me and the platform is chockablock so I cant move away.

Instead of making a sarcastic comment the OP could have either ignored her/not responded to her, or blandly agreed that the delay is awful, or simply said "I'm sure the train will be here soon". The sarcastic little dig is what escalated the situation.

That's not abuse. That's poking a hornet's nest and being surprised you've got stung.

@EwItsAHooman Thu 22-Nov-18 13:39:54
She loses her shit, and screeches I ‘JUST WANT TO GET HOME!!’ I said, ‘yes, I’m pretty sure we all want that’ because she’s irritating me and the platform is chockablock so I cant move away.

Instead of making a sarcastic comment the OP could have either ignored her/not responded to her, or blandly agreed that the delay is awful, or simply said "I'm sure the train will be here soon". The sarcastic little dig is what escalated the situation.

Still doesn't entitle the woman to shout at the op, or anyone else.

and the OP wasn't entitled to stick her nose in so unhelpfully to someone who was clearly struggling.

You know what? I’ve been that mother OP. Granted I’ve never lost control enough to vocalise but internally I’ve been screaming inside. That poor lady, I suspect, had been driven over the edge and the train was the last straw. I’ve seeb that edge plenty of times. It’s a grim and scary view.

I think the most recent time, I had parked at an end of line station and gone into town for an important engagement without the kids. When I started to head back, I found the line to be part suspended and there was no way to get back to the car. To get home. To get to my more than adequately looked after and safe as houses kids and I did approach a member of staff and feebly asked what was going on because ‘I have a baby at home’. As it happens, it all worked out of course but the panic was overwhelming. I’m sure if I had succumbed and yelled ‘but I ve got kids at home!!’ some nasty arsehole would’ve shouted me down about all needing to get home.

I wanted to say that I have found people to be kinder on the London tube than many other cities.

So true Tam. I’m a self confessed Cockney now living in a city outside London and the people here would shove me and the pram under the bus before letting me get on in my own time.

RiverTam Thu 22-Nov-18 15:23:08
and the OP wasn't entitled to stick her nose in so unhelpfully to someone who was clearly struggling.

To someone causing a disturbance in a busy platform right next to her? The OP is entitled to comment if the woman was screeching right next to her. And even if she wasn't, in your opinion, the woman still had no right to shout at her.

By your logic, If the OP had decked her, would she still be in the right because the woman shouted at her?

OP - nope YWNBU. All those who are “siding” with the stressed woman are probably doing so just to argue a point for fun. She was behaving in a way that doesn’t sit well in British culture, and as such reacting with sarcasm was entirely appropriate. Bravo.

That is such a stupid thing to say Eliza that I'm not going to engage with you further. I'm off to catch a train where I hope, should it all go tits up and a woman with a baby starts to panic, I'll be a bit more fucking help than the OP and her snidey renarks.

Well it's not stupid, you are saying that the woman was entitled to shout at the op because the op commented. In that case, the op is entitled to give her a smack in the mouth for shouting at her.

2 wrongs don't make a right and whether or not the op should have commented or not is beside the point, the woman shouldn't have shouted. Shouting at strangers is unacceptable.

And its very unlikely that she was panicking, she was probably just pissed off and entitled and thinks the world owes her something because she's travelling with a baby. Let alone all the poor other fuckers that have to travel, pick up their kids, travel some more, before finally getting home.

Enjoy your train ride, I'm going to enjoy my 20min car journey

All those who are “siding” with the stressed woman are probably doing so just to argue a point for fun.

No, it's just that we're not heartless and can empathise with someone who is quite probably at the end of their rope and snapped.

OP was certainly not in the right and should have kept her mouth shut, there is a time and place for sarcasm and that most definitely was not it.

The mum didn't exactly cover herself with glory either and no, shouting about it isn't ideal but I bet she's feeling a bit embarrassed about it today.

OP was the one most was more wrong/less right because she provoked the situation and escalated it by deliberately and needlessly agitating at someone who was clearly already stressed out. It was a dick move and she deserved to be shouted at.

None of us have any idea what's going on in the life of the person standing next to us.

Which is exactly why the OP shouldn't have made a sarcastic dig at this woman.

OP was certainly not in the right and should have kept her mouth shut, there is a time and place for sarcasm and that most definitely was not it.

So she should just stand there and take being shouted at because the other woman was stressed??

Bullshit.

You know what Eliza? A ‘better’, decent, empathetic person would.

So she should just stand there and take being shouted at because the other woman was stressed??

The shouting was one line and it wasn't directed at the OP until the OP decided to get involved by commenting directly to the woman. OP then got shouted at in response to the comment she made. OP involved herself, OP takes the consequences. If she hadn't gotten involved, she wouldn't have been shouted at and stressed woman probably wouldn't have said anything further to the first thing she shouted.

Least said, soonest mended.

She loses her shit, and screeches I ‘JUST WANT TO GET HOME!!’

Said after the operator clicked off, venting her frustration at the delay.

If OP kept her yap shut then it would have likely ended there but no, Gobby McGob had to get in there with the sarcastic response thereby involving herself and giving the woman an actual person to vent her frustration at

In the OP's own words, this woman has lost her shit. She's frazzled. She's snapped. Lost her temper.

Why in the actual blue fuck would any normal, nice, decent person then stick the boot in and exacerbate that situation by making an unwanted and unnecessary sarcastic comment?

Who knows how her day has been or how her mental health was or what she was going home too.

But to be fair you could say that about anyone with somewhat dickish behaviour/ outbursts

Because you can't go around 'losing your shit' and shouting in public.

If she does that in public, and reacts in that way to an adult imagine what she does at home and to her kid. Maybe social services need to give her a visit if she can't cope, can't control herself and is prone to outbursts like this.