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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I HAVE A BABY YOU KNOW!

238 replies

HarrietKettleWasHere · 20/11/2018 14:29

Now, possibly we’ve all been there...

But AIBU to think that this woman yelling this at me on a station platform was just ridiculous and was IBU to laugh and say ‘that’s nice’.

Picture the scene, last week, crowded tube platform, rush hour, everyone trying to get home. Huge delays, a tube hasn’t been for about twelve minutes. Everyone is getting increasingly pissed off.

Woman with a small child in a buggy is getting pretty irate, sighing dramatically, muttering obscenities etc. She then pushes that ‘information’ button on the platform and when it gets picked up demands to know when the next train is coming (the board is already displaying 10 minutes)

Operator tells her ten minutes. She tells him that is disgusting, she’s got a child, they ought to be sending taxis Hmm operator clicks off.

She loses her shit, and screeches I ‘JUST WANT TO GET HOME!!’

I said, ‘yes, I’m pretty sure we all want that’ because she’s irritating me and the platform is chockablock so I cant move away.

She then yells ‘ I HAVE A BABY!!’

I sort of laughed incredulously and said ‘yes, that’s nice’

, I NEED TO GET HOME NOW! THIS IS NOT FAIR ON MY CHILD, I SHOULDNT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS!!’

Child (looked about a year or so so not a baby baby) sat impassively in buggy for the duration.

She didn’t get her taxi, but (rightly so) everyone moved aside when the train finally came so she did get on with the buggy. Lots of people didn’t and had to just wait for the next one.

She kept up with the dramatic sighing the entire way back though.

OP posts:
masterandmargarita · 21/11/2018 21:25

If you're looking after another human being, be it someone in a push chair or a wheel chair or just someone who needs caring for, then of course your needs are greater than others, however it's a bit dickish to make a big scene out if it.

BrickByBrick · 21/11/2018 21:38

Not really related, but I was watching the Paddington series (I think it was) and a woman was absolutely losing it because the trains had been cancelled and demanding a taxi.

It turns out she had to get to a hospital (possibly involving a transplant for a family member).

You just never know I guess.

RudimentalPetal · 21/11/2018 23:32

Gromance, making assumptions about whether she works or not is ridiculous. Assuming that the company you work for values you is also ridiculous, unless you are a surgeon of some sort. A woman's value to society is not based on whether she works and has children, stays at home with her children or pays her hard earned wages in childcare so she can work at a job who would replace her in a moment. We are women, either way nobody cares! This is England.

RudimentalPetal · 21/11/2018 23:50

Bizarrely I was on a train one day that I had rushed to catch so hadn't had the time to buy a ticket (before oyster and at a time where tickets were sold on the train) The lady sitting next to me realised this and proceeded to try to report me telling me that I had to get off at the next platform and even making it her business to try and locate the ticket assistant. She kept saying " You better be quick, they are coming to get you" Now, if I was the sort of person who could be bullied I might have been really upset by this I told her I had money I just didn't have the time to buy the ticket before train came, instead I said to her, "Why are you so bothered, are you alright?" cue floods of tears and it all came out about some stuff she was going through and her apologising for being so horrible to me, despite me being so kind to her. I guess moral of the story is to keep yourself to yourself on public transport and don't make eye contact with anyone...

josbd · 22/11/2018 00:05

Why was she anywhere near the tube at bloody rush hour anyway?

Frazzledstar1 · 22/11/2018 00:05

I can somewhat sympathise with her, it can be frustrating out with kids, but ultimately it’s no-one else’s fault that the tubes are delayed or whatever and was bvu to start screaming etc. And expecting taxis? Wow what planet does she live on lol.

wentmadinthecountry · 22/11/2018 00:34

People are so much more pathetic and entitled than when I had my children over 20 years ago. It doesn't make people want to be nice to you if you are all huffy and puffy. And I had 3 under 3 with a dh who worked abroad. You've got a baby? Get on with it then.

Darkstar4855 · 22/11/2018 00:37

Sorry, not being a Londoner I just can’t get past the fact that no train for twelve minutes is a “huge delay” Grin

YANBU about the crazy woman though.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 22/11/2018 01:18

TigerTooth If you really are the mum in question, why on earth did you think having offspring automatically entitled you to a taxi home?

3luckystars · 22/11/2018 01:34

I was in the queue for the till at Lidl and this woman with a few items blustered past me and said 'I have a child'

It wasn't even with her though?

I felt like saying ' I have a few too!' But of course I didn't say anything. But it did make me laugh.

AtomicSquirrel · 22/11/2018 01:51

**Good, ifTigertoothis the mother in question. OP came here to have a snide little nasty-giggle about someone having a bad day and if she's about to get called out on it then maybe she'll think twice next time.

Or may be OP doesn't give it a shit.

Catsinthecupboard · 22/11/2018 05:09

Old joke:
Woman: would you please give up your seat for a pregnant woman?
Other passenger: sure. How far along are you?
Woman: "an hour and a half."Grin

OneForTheRoadThen · 22/11/2018 08:55

@Frazzledstar1 I've been given a taxi twice when trains have been cancelled. I didn't even ask, they just ordered them for everyone. This wasn't in London though where there is so many other alternative methods of transport but maybe the OP wasn't to know this?

GabsAlot · 22/11/2018 09:24

if she didnt know then she couold have asked not scream-ten minutes is quite long but sometimes theres signal failures or some such thing going on

having a child doesnt top trump everyone

PhilomenaButterfly · 22/11/2018 10:01

I've waited an hour for a bus run by good old TfL, I had a 4yo and a baby, it was lunchtime, I may have cursed TfL under my breath, apologised to DD and tried to console DS2, but I didn't scream "I HAVE CHILDREN YOU KNOW!"

MirriVan · 22/11/2018 10:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

browneyes77 · 22/11/2018 10:21

Truthfully I think you’re both in the wrong.

Yes the woman in question may have been having a bad day but she was behaving like a dick and would’ve irritated me too with her attitude and behaviour.

On the other hand, I probably wouldn’t have said anything to her, just rolled my eyes and let her carrying on making herself look stupid. Why even bother saying anything to her? You were setting yourself up for a mouthful given the behaviour she was displaying.

Lydiaatthebarre · 22/11/2018 10:26

"I second @staypuft and a few other pps. She sounds like she was having a bad day and / or a panic attack. Having someone friendly to talk to might have turned her day / mood around, but you chose to judge instead. Congratulations. I'm guessing you don't have kids?"

Tenforward82 Please, please, do not do this. There is a thread on AIBU about hurtful and inaccurate things people say about and to childless people. Please read it and think before you post something like this again.

Lydiaatthebarre · 22/11/2018 10:28

Actually I realise you apologised a few posts later. Thanks for that.

But genuinely, I wish as many posters as possible would read that thread. It's informative and helpful.

discopisco · 22/11/2018 10:51

I'd like to think I'm a rational and polite person on the whole but I swear having children changes all that (and other things)! As a new mum, I'd have probably reacted like that woman but in my head only. Maybe she'd had the crappiest of crappy days and couldn't take it any more. Hope she got where she needed to and no one else suffered. That aside, I do think people shouting in public places- especially effing and blinding- is very bad form. I also think others who goad them by making snide comments as you did OP are incredibly rude too so yes, YABU.

TenForward82 · 22/11/2018 11:13

@lydia, well done for noticing the apology. I wasn't saying all childless people are dicks, but some don't realise how difficult it is. Of course people can be parents and still be dicks, I get that.

Lydiaatthebarre · 22/11/2018 11:47

Fair enough TenForward82.

OP, on the face of it the woman was behaving badly but I think we all do out of character things when we're feeling frantic or overwhelmed.

I got a call at work a few months ago to say my mother needed to be brought to hospital IMMEDIATELY following the results of some blood tests. I drove to her house in a state and when someone hesitated a bit at a roundabout I absolutely blew the arse off them. Normally I would be disgusted if I saw someone do that, but my head was just focussed on getting my mother to hospital asap.

So maybe the woman you saw was just having a bit of a head melt and feels bad now about how she behaved.

Eliza9917 · 22/11/2018 11:55

FontSnob Wed 21-Nov-18 17:45:49
I’m on the side of the people who have a little compassion and empathy on this thread. Who knows how her day has been or how her mental health was or what she was going home too.

elizzza Wed 21-Nov-18 18:06:49
Eh, she didn’t do you any harm OP. If you’re that offended by people expressing frustration in publicity, stick earphones in on the tube. I try to live by the maxim “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their own battles” - who knows what sort of day she’d had.

Worriedmummybekind Wed 21-Nov-18 18:21:25
She was having a bad day and totally let it all out. I’m kind of impressed blush I’m the sort to be fuming and not say anything then quietly sob in the corner.

I would be sympathetic generally to be people losing their cool as long as it isn’t aggressive

Zoejj77 Wed 21-Nov-18 18:23:38
Maybe she had had a bad day, maybe her kid is a terrible sleeper and she hasn’t slept for a year. Doesn’t make it right or that she is more important but maybe she just lost her sht and was stressed out*

So do you all think it's ok for her to go around shouting at people and demanding she goes first?

Just because she's having a bad day doesn't entitle her to take it out on anyone, especially strangers that all want to get home too.

EwItsAHooman · 22/11/2018 12:25

So do you all think it's ok for her to go around shouting at people and demanding she goes first?

Like I said in my earlier post, we all have a breaking point. Maybe she'd had a stressful day and the train being delayed was the final straw. We all lose our shit sometimes and a little understanding of that goes a long way.

MaryofMislethwaiteManor · 22/11/2018 12:28

I like how people don’t think a twenty minute delay is significant. Depending on the station, in rush hour, that could be hundreds and hundreds of commuters. I’ve experienced this at Bank and Victoria and it causes a complete bottleneck and sometimes they even close the station as it’s well over capacity. It’s a nightmare!