Inheritance advice

[clarepetal]

Really not sure what to do here.
My Dad died of cancer nearly 3 years ago, he had an aunt who did not have any children of her own so when she dies any inheritance would have gone between him and his brother (my uncle).
As soon as he was diagnosed, he sat down with my mum ran through all the finances and said when his aunt died that he wanted his inheritance to go to straight to her rather than my brother and I as she would need it more and it would eventually come to us through inheritance from her (and him). He also said that she would be ok, their mortgage is paid off and they had some savings although not much. She works part time. He died, very sad property all in her name now.

Fast forward 3 years, his great aunt dies, we assume that he'd spoken to his brother to ask that his share of any inheritance go straight to my mum. The dozy bugger never had that conversation and we've been told that some inheritance is coming to my brother and I, nothing to my mum.
The aibu is this, I have no idea how much we're talking, but should I give it to my mum, it's what she'd like, it's what dad wanted, but bloody hell I could do with it. I'm in a 2 bedroom flat that needs new bathroom and kitchen and I'm skint. Am I a greedy CF, reading this back, I think I ought to give it to mum but I secretly want to use it for my flat. Please don't be brutal....

Your family have a slightly odd attitude about all of this.

Your dad would (and should) have no say in what happens to a share of an estate that could have been his if he'd outlived a relative.. once someone dies, their portion is no longer theirs to do with as they like as they haven't inherited anything yet. Unless it was actually inherited into your dad's name, he cannot dictate what happens with Aunt's estate when she dies- quite rightly too (can you imagine the complexities if your dad's logic was the law).

Also, all this family understanding is based on assumption and supposition - your aunt could have left a will stating that it all goes to the dog's home and that would have been legally valid unless she made it whilst not of sound mind or it contravenes a specific applicable law about relatives inheriting which applies to the local laws the will was made under (some areas have stipulations about if and how you can e.g. disinheriting certain blood relatives). No one should be counting their inheritance as "theirs" because what people say and then do can be very different things - either through just not bothering to update wills, or making it easy to have a family chat whilst secretly instructing their lawyer to draft up a will that reflects their true wishes.

Also, bear in mind OP that if you do decide to give your mum all or a part of the estate, you need to tread carefully and get proper financial/legal advice - is your mum just expecting you to inherit an unknown sum of the estate then hand it over?This could have legal and tax implications for you later down the line - do NOT just do this, whatever you decide. You can decline to inherit the estate or gift it in a way that protects you, but for god's sake don't just write a cheque or something.

A decent will should provide for what happens if a beneficiary predeceases the testator! Otherwise the portion that would have gone to the beneficiary who has predeceased the testator will just revert to and swell the estate

According to gov.uk "You can change a person's will after their death, as long as any beneficiaries left worse off by the changes agree." If you are all in agreement, it is possible to vary the will after your Great Aunt's death for a period of 2 years.

Not knowing the sums involved it is impossible to give much advice but worth seeing a solicitor/accountant. It might be possible to lend money to your Mother so that, in fact, it isn't used to cover care fees as it isn't hers, or keep the money between yourself and your brother and your Mother can choose to try Equity Release. Certainly you need to speak to a professional advisor.

If you pass some to your mother, do it within 2 years by a variation or whatever it's called to mitigate tax liabilities

Imissgmichael, no, none of it would have gone to the OP's mum. Under the intestacy rules and the way most wills are written, this is how it works.

Anna has two nephews, Bob and Colin. Bob dies before Anna. Bob leaves two children, Delia and Eddie. He also leaves a widow, Fiona.

Anna dies intestate. She was a widow and left no children. Her parents and siblings all died before her. Bob and Colin were therefore her nearest blood relatives. Now that Bob has died, his children take his place.

Anna's estate will be divided between Colin and Bob's children. Colin gets 50% and Delia and Eddie get the other 50% between them, i.e. 25% of the estate each. Fiona gets nothing.

If Anna had made a will, she could have chosen to leave Fiona a share or to leave her entire estate to the local donkey sanctuary. However, most people do leave their money to their nearest family. If Anna's will was made before Bob died, it might have specified that the estate was to be split equally between Bob and Colin. If the phrase per stirpes was used in there, then Bob's share would now pass to Delia and Eddie as his descendants.

Alternatively, Anna might have made a new will after Bob died and consciously chosen to leave the money to Colin, Delia and Eddie, with nothing going to Fiona. Her choice.

I have an aunt in a similar position, and there is no way she would leave money to my partner rather than my adult children.

^^This.

I think your father was trying to look after your mum as best he felt he could. But that's absolutely right, the chances are your GA would prefer to leave the money to a blood relative. Written down, that sounds very harsh but I don't think your dad considered that angle, even if they did speak.

I'm sorry you're in this situation. Saying to your mum: "But it wasn't Dad's money!" wouldn't be a fun conversation to have. Although that is true. At the same time, I'd be steaming if I were your GA and hadn't been able to leave that legacy for my N and N, as I'd specified, but it went to someone's former spouse. DH's siblings in law have no families of their own - if they even leave anything they get to my children (not certain), it would be like me saying: Mine, mine, mine. No, it doesn't work like that.

What sort of relationship do you have with your dad's brother?

Could you say to your mum that your understanding is the will reflected your GA's wishes? I wouldn't lie and say your dad misunderstood if that were not the case but I'd be a bit oblique I suppose.

Can you not do a 'Deed of Variation'?

Take the money, do whatever you need for yourself and share some with your mum if there's much left.

Is your mum expecting the money? That would make things awkward, especially if she'd been expecting it for a while - it might have factored into plans she has, whether that's right or wrong in the eyes of the law.

Also what is your brother expecting to do? Will he give or share his portion?

If your mum isn't expecting it I'd probably keep it but make sure that if my mum had any problems financially I'd sort her out.

One of the first things you should do is get a copy of the Great Aunt's will, which will help you put things into perspective.

Money Saving Expert website might be useful for information. But don't rush into a decision, and don't take any action without legal advice.

Has your mum said anything that suggests she is expecting you to hand it over?

I'd be steaming if I were your GA and hadn't been able to leave that legacy for my N and N, as I'd specified, but it went to someone's former spouse.

I agree, I'd be livid if I was the great aunt in this situation and the OP gave away or legally did a deed of variation to go against my legally stated wishes.

Legally it goes to you and your brother rather than to your mum. If your aunt wanted it to go to your mum, she would've written that in her Will.

Why does your mum need money so badly now?

It wouldn't matter what Dad told his brother, if he is the executor of Aunt's estate he is legally bound to distribute the estate according to Aunt's wishes. Neither he nor your dad could just decide to divert his share to you & your DB.

Did you and DB know about Dad's wishes ahead of time? What is your mum saying about it now? How likely is she to accept Aunt's wishes with good grace? Who has the current greater need?

Your dad pre-deceased hisauntt, thefore there was no inheritance for him at all, he no longer counted.whether he was mentioned or not in her Will it is highly unlikely that there would be anything coming his way and so then moving on to your mum or you.

It sounds like there was a clause in aunt's Will which gave your and your sibling something and that's what you're getting, everything else to your uncle,

You can ring the solicitor doing probabte and ask fora ballpark figure. Then you'll know if it's a few hundred o millions!

I come from a family where the attitude towards inheritance is that you shouldn’t expect it, as it’s not your money.

Understandably, your father wanted to make provision for your mother, but he couldn’t make plans for your aunt’s money, only his own. Sorry, but it was your father who was being the cheeky one here, albeit under a lot of pressure. Did he even speak to his aunt about what he thought she should do with her money?

I agree with a pp that you should accept this inheritance, which your great aunt intended for you. If you would like to give some to your mother, or treat her with it, then that would be for you to decide.

Legally it goes to you, not your mum because you are blood related to the aunt and your mum isn't. Talking this his brother would not have changed anything. If the aunt had left a will specifying your mum was to inherit, that would be different. So the inheritance is legally yours and your brother's. I think you should use it as you wish and if that includes helping your mum that is fine. The money is yours.

I'm not a lawyer, Jux, but I think you're wrong about how wills are most commonly written. It's as I've set out above, most people feel that if a beneficiary predeceases them then that person's children should get their share. That's how the intestacy rules work too.

It fascinates me that so many different opinions are presented as fact. Without a will, the money is op and her brother's.

It is seemingly becoming more and more common to make provision for younger generations given how hard it is to get on the property ladder/general cost of living. Most of the people in my family over 60 have changed wills to include direct provision to grandchildren from splits between children only. The rational being that it would give them pleasure to know the younger generation has something to support them and will have options later on around education, housing etc. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if your great aunt had specified it to go to you and your brother rather than your mother. Have you seen the exact wording of the will?

This sort of situation is really difficult because it has the potential to rip your family apart. A first step would be to see the will and when it was written and to have a conversation with your brother. I honestly don’t know what I’d do in your circumstances.

I agree with pp. Following the wishes of the Will honours written intentions and causes least arguments.

Also not keen on passing money up the generations as you would be doing if you gave it to DM. Different if she is in financial difficulty but then that could be dealt with by gift from you as and when you felt best rather than giving up inheritance. My GM left money directly to me - just as well as my DF remarried and predeceased my step-DM who promptly disinherited me.

OP presumably your DM has managed well in the past 3 years. If so then l think you should have the inheritance your Aunt wanted you to have . Any Mother would want that for their children surely?

Dad died before your Aunty. If Aunty died intestate, your Dads share would go to your Mum. Your Dads wishes aren’t legally relevant.

I agree that dad's wishes are not legally relevant. However you are wrong on the first part, Dad's share goes to his descendants not his spouse.

It was never your Dad's money to decide what happened to it.

It would have been incredibly rude of him to ask his Aunt to leave his 'share' (Which was never actually his!) to his partner.

Once her nephew died, his Aunt might have chosen to leave the money to her nephew's widow, but your Mum wasn't a blood relation to the Aunt, whereas you are.

If you and your brother chose to give the money to your Mother, that's a different issue.

But your Aunt left the money to you. It was 3 years before she died, it wasn't the next week. She had plenty of time to put in her will for it to go to her nephew's wife, but didn't. She left that share to the next generation down of her blood relations - you.

You can decide if you want to give your money to your Mum, but don't buy into the lie that it was ever your Dad's to decide it's destination.