To think after trying it on with boyfriends brother,we are done?

[angelarr]

I'm massively ashamed.
Friday night I met my boyfriends family as they had a party and I made a total fool of myself.
I drank 1l of vodka,I tried to kiss my boyfriends brother,I fell down some stairs.
I told his sisters and gran (who is 82) they were "swear words"
I can't remember any of it.
They've told me I'm not welcome in their home again.
Can I redeem myself here?
Do you think boyfriend will dump me?

Sounds like you have a bit of a drink problem my love (no judgment here: I have one too). Quitting it completely is the best thing to do. I hope you manage to get the help you need and deserve.

"drinking is hugely frowned upon generally here"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I know lots of people that drink to excess on the weekends and not in the week.

You don't have to drink all week to have a problem.

I don't think the OP is ready to admit that they have an alcohol problem. I hope they come back when they do.

Why? So you can feel satisfied that you forced her to admit it?

The last thing the OP needs is help like this thread is pretending to offer. Patronising, ill informed and superior. Bet she wishes she hadn’t posted

You don't think drinking as a coping mechanism, downing so much alcohol that you become inappropriate, abusive, have no memory of events, and your drunk behaviour being a repeated concern that others have raised, constitutes a drink problem Callmedarcy?

No I don’t. That would sum up about 70% of the people you’d see out drinking any weekend of the year.

People drink for confidence. People become abusive (I’ve witnessed countless fights). We as a country drink to excess. I don’t think a large proportion of the nation are alcoholics.

You don't have to be an alcoholic to have a drink problem.

By some of this logic, anyone who gets smashed and makes a massive tit of themselves must have a drink problem. That isn’t true. It’s a problem caused by drink, but not necessarily a problem with alcohol dependency. I know lots of people who did things like this in their 20’s, dare I say I have put in the odd performance myself I am not too proud of. People f* up, it’s part of growing up.

Why? So you can feel satisfied that you forced her to admit it?

No, of course not. head tilt

I'm sure she can get plenty of help, support and advice from MN. When she's ready.

Problem caused by drink/drink problem, Whatever you want to call it. Problematic drinking, maybe? Either way, it's best to abstain completely if you don't know when to stop, or black out, or swear at your BF's granny.

OP has said that she has blacked out from drinking vodka more than once. It's not a one-off, it's not fun, it's a problem.

Ok, stop beating yourself up bit stop drinking vodka!

Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. OP has said she’s ashamed and it’s clear she regrets what happened...

Op I do think some flowers and a letter of apology are needed - apology may not be accepted, but i do think you should say sorry regardless.

Hope you’re ok OP

By some of this logic, anyone who gets smashed and makes a massive tit of themselves must have a drink problem.

There's a bit of a difference between going out with your mates and making a bit of a tit of yourself after having one to many, and going to meet your boyfriend's family and getting yourself so drunk that you offend all of them and potentially destroy your relationship.

The latter situation suggests someone who can't moderate her drinking when she needs to.

Fat rave lol

Op I've done things like this before and the shame is horrible.

I hate the person I am when I drink and so am making changes to try and reduce my alcohol intake, I suggest you try to do the same for the sake of yourself and your relationships. It's hard.

I do stupid things when I drink vodka.
My friends have told me this before.

This weekend you did a stupid thing before you drank vodka, you took the decision to drink it. Despite knowing the effect that it has. Despite knowing that you were going to meet his family for the first time, you still drank it. And a fuck ton of it at that.

OP: 'Last night, I did a litre of vodka, tried to mount my girlfriend's sister, and called her elderly relative a cunt. Then fell down the stairs. AIBU to think I've screwed up?'

Mumsnet: 'Aww hun, it sounds like your anxiety talking. Try drinking a different spirit - vodka sends me mental! As for the relationship, don't beat yourself up: apologise, block her number and move on.

Said no-one on here, ever.

MN double standards at its most acute here. It would be funny except for the fact that what OP's done to her boyfriend's brother, if it involves any physical contact at all, is sexual assault. MN as a whole is (rightly) concerned about male sexual violence, but it makes a mockery when it's so easily dismissed when the roles are reversed.

Well, you broke the ice.

I'm genuinely concerned to your reaction to alcohol. Its more than getting drunk and being a bit foolish to me you look like you are showing signs of hypermania triggered by alcohol. You say you have a reaction to vodka, that's really impulsive out of control behaviour.

Really look at your life and see how harmful this has the potential to be every time you drink.

I am sure no one is trying to put the boot in to the OP. I for one have had a drink problem myself and just don’t want the OP to end up in a complete mess with it all. She needs to face up to the fact she’s got a drink problem. Someone who has drunk 40 units in one night without ending up unconscious and been oblivious to a whole night’s worth of events has a problem that needs addressed before it gets even worse.

If you weigh about 60kg, 1 litre of vodka is a lethal dose

I agree that OP needs to focus on her problem drinking. But given the evasions, blame shifting and focus on the extraneous, it doesn't look as if that's likely to happen soon

“HashTagLil

Why? So you can feel satisfied that you forced her to admit it?

No, of course not. head tilt

I'm sure she can get plenty of help, support and advice from MN. When she's ready.”

Doesn’t seem like the help support and advice will be very good, going by this thread.
NotDavidTenant it took me a long time to appreciate that some occasions weren’t appropriate to get drunk in. I grew up in a community where drinking is the centre of social life and if there was alcohol served, i assumed it it was appropriate to keep drinking it until home time. The idea of pacing or having a soft drink just wouldn’t enter my head. Ironically my parents don’t drink at all so I only ever saw these extremes.

I learnt the hard way, by embarrassing myself a few times. We’re not all brought up to be able to appreciate these things.

I think people should stop worrying about the 1L vodka. The OP was clearly too drunk to remember exactly how much she drank.

@DeadButDelicious how do you work out she feels so much remorse? She seems more bothered she won't get dumped and minimised all of her actions.

If this is what happens when you drink then you need to stop, or at least majorly cut down on what you do drink at the weekend.

I don’t think you can come back from this with your boyfriend but at the very least you can avoid this happening again by taking steps to control your drinking. You need to take responsibility for what happened, saying things like your boyfriend should’ve taken you home earlier are irrelevant - you chose to drink. If not, you must be prepared that it will happen again and you will alienate those closest to you. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but try and think of this as a turning point to leave this in the past and work on ensuring you never do this again.