To think after trying it on with boyfriends brother,we are done?

[angelarr]

I'm massively ashamed.
Friday night I met my boyfriends family as they had a party and I made a total fool of myself.
I drank 1l of vodka,I tried to kiss my boyfriends brother,I fell down some stairs.
I told his sisters and gran (who is 82) they were "swear words"
I can't remember any of it.
They've told me I'm not welcome in their home again.
Can I redeem myself here?
Do you think boyfriend will dump me?

Was it your first time meeting them?

How long are you together?

You deserve to be dumped. You embarrassed him and upset his family. I would not want my son with someone with a drink problem. Good that he’s seen this before he married and had kids with you.

You need to move on and seek help for your own health and future relationships. Good luck .

Having a glass of wine too many and doing an embarrassingly enthusiastic karaoke number is something you can get past with good humour, a litre of vodka, kissing his brother, falling down stairs and swearing at granny. No. Even if he forgives you, you've blown it with his family. Your drinking is problematic you're using it to self medicate despite being aware of the negative outcomes. You need to get support and address it, it might mean you don't drink any more, an alcohol problem isn't just about waking up and drinking vodka with your cornflakes.

First off whether he dumps you or not or whether you’re ever welcomed back into the house or not I think you should write a sincere and apology note to his sister and Gran.

Secondly you need to look at why you’re using alcohol as a crutch for situations like this espexially as it can exacerbate anxiety.

I'm taking AD I don't know if the alcohol plus them causes some reaction.
It's sertraline I take.
Sometimes propranolol too.
This was the first time yeah.
I don't know why I kept drinking.

Op if you want to be in a relationship and can't trust yourself to remain faithful when drinking alcohol then you need to abstain from drinking...yes it was just a kiss, but that is still classed as you cheating on your boyfriend, and with his brother of all people...

I don't know if you can save this relationship, I imagine his family will be telling him to dump you, all you can do is apologise, and if he doesn't want to be with you any more then accept it graciously and use this as a learning point to prevent it happening in future relationships...if he will agree to stay with you then you need to show him you are serious about bring sorry and making a change, by getting help for your drinking, and counselling for your relationship

It will take hard work to get over this but it will depend if he wants to,

You know what? I reckon that if it was a bloke writing this, everyone would just shrug and say 'Boys will be boys'. A bollocking, but it would go no further. I can see what's happening on MN, but has the boyfriend condemned you? How about the PIL's? OK, maybe drink a little less Vodka, but don't cower in shame. Could people ease off on the virtue signalling a bit here? OP already says she suffers anxiety, this isn't helping.

eek. your bf is going to want to know why you're ending the relationship so i'd tell him honestly that you did something so inappropriate you have no choice but to end it for his sake to spare him embarrassment in front of his brother and for your own sake to concentrate on getting better. Hopefully he will show you some kindness and not be angry. Hopefully he'll just let you go.

Well the "real you" may not behave badly as you did - but the real you has a real problem with alcohol abuse........as your ability to drink a litre of vodka and not pass out or drop dead from alcohol poisoning surely shows that you are a very frequent and heavy drinker!

Propranolol and alcohol aren't a good mix.

Mind you not much is with a litre of potato juice.

I’ve been on here a while. Can’t say I’ve ever seen something as stupid as “boys will be boys” or anyone ever excusing a man getting shit faced and throwing himself at a woman’s sister

It’s not virtue signalling to say attempting to cheat with your bf’s brother and verbally abusing his nan is 100% unacceptable with no possible excuse.

She has anxiety. It’s hers to manage. Abusing alcohol and acting like an out of control teenager is pathetic.

I'm amazed he hasn't already. Unless you are making this all up of course.

If you do exist and friends have warned you about vodka in the past, it makes no sense that you would make it your drink of choice on a night being introduced to his family for the first time.

The last person i know who did something like that was a friend of my daughter's at her first party when she was 14, who ended up in hospital on a drip.

You are a grown woman so put on your big girl pants and message or send a card to his family apologising and explaining you were very nervous and hope for the best. If you were aggressively insulting his female family members you need to knock drinking on the head completely though I think.

Could people ease off on the virtue signalling a bit here?
Hardly virtue-signalling! OP drank a litre of vodka despite being on ADs, tried to kiss boyfriend's brother at family party, fell down stairs and swore at his sisters and his gran. How is judging that virtue signalling?! And for the record, I'd be equally unimpressed if OP was a bloke.
I doubt even OP's (likely by now ex) BF feels like showing his face at home right now!

Q

I think you need to massively apologise, send flowers to his family and back out of the relationship and spend some time working on yourself OP. I've suffered horrific anxiety and know how tempting it can be to have a drink or two to take the edge off but it can easily end in disaster as you've experienced. It took me years to get comfortable with OH's family alongside my anxiety but I got there and we have a great relationship and I'm very comfortable with them now. Alcohol is not the answer.

OP how old are you???

I wouldn't blame him for dumping me.
I'm totally ashamed.
I haven't even told my friends I'm that ashamed.

I'm 23.

I think you need to end the relationship and seek help for alcohol issues

I don't think you can blame taking sertraline or propanolol for your behaviour, neither are known for their severe interactions with alcohol (in fact they increase the likelihood of you just talking asleep). This situation was caused solely by your terrible judgment and nothing else. Apart from the fact that you've acted horifficialy and subjected nice people to an evening of torment because you can't control yourself, you've put your health at risk. This is something you will need to address with a professional.

I only drink on weekends.
I don't even really enjoy it,I drink to help deal with all the anxiety.
Now I'm thinking I've blown it because il never get a chance again to meet them
They are nice people which makes it worse

I think you need to admit to yourself that you have a drink problem.

Fucks sake.

You’ve got bigger problems than the boyfriend (rightly) dumping you.

Grow up and sort out your drinking.

We live in the same town too so I've got the worry of bumping into them.

Getting pissed out of your brains and swearing at his granny sealed your fate and you should apologise, doubt he wants to see you again but how on earth did you not get alcohol poisoning drinking a litre of presumably 40%vol vodka