To think after trying it on with boyfriends brother,we are done?

[angelarr]

I'm massively ashamed.
Friday night I met my boyfriends family as they had a party and I made a total fool of myself.
I drank 1l of vodka,I tried to kiss my boyfriends brother,I fell down some stairs.
I told his sisters and gran (who is 82) they were "swear words"
I can't remember any of it.
They've told me I'm not welcome in their home again.
Can I redeem myself here?
Do you think boyfriend will dump me?

Op you have a drink problem. You need to admit it and get help.

End the relationship. Your behaviour was inexcusable and toxic.

It’s probably over with the boyfriend. You can use the feeling terrible to help you do some things that will improve how you feel a tiny bit. If I were you, I’d be using this as a great big flag that self medicating with alcohol doesn’t work for me and seeking help. If I were your boyfriend I’d really appreciate an apology. I probably wouldn’t get back with you, but an apology would make me think better of you.

Be the kind of person who takes ownership of poor decisions! Apologise to boyfriend and his family (and don’t make excuses). Start having a think about how you can avoid this happening again. Go to your gp perhaps as a starter and see if they can signpost you to resources.

I don't believe you did drink a while litre to yourself, someone is trying to drink shame you...!
Well she can't remember anything so it's a fair bet that she drank way too much. The whole litre or not makes no odds. If you can't remember (and that's without snogging or swearing at family or falling down stairs) then you didn't stop at a glass.

I used to do stuff like this - I'm an alcoholic.

I have stopped drinking now.

I understand you were struggling with anxiety but the outcome is way way worse than it would have been otherwise.

Your boyfriend is still talking to you - so ask him if he wants to split up. He has said he "knows it wasn't the real you" so there is a bit of hope - just ask him, not us.

You need to address your alcohol issues. "Normal" poeple can't keep going through a whole bottle of vodka without puking / passing out / etc The fact that you were able to keep at it in black out state - walking talking - means that you have a pretty large alcohol tolerance which in turn suggests that you have an alcohol issue. You need ot look at this or you WILL keep doing this shit, I know I've been there.

His family will probably not want anything to do with you but also IME these things feel less hideously mortifying with time & a lot of people haave surprisingly short memories> apologise profusely and then leave it is all you can do so do that.

Everything is 10-x worse when you're hung over too. Pick yourself up and get on with life. It's done. You can't change it. Talk to your boyfriend and think hard on your alcohol issues.

Op if one of my DS's brought home someone who behaved as you did, she would have been ejected into the front garden!
Your poor BF. he must be so embarassed and humiliated, the girlfriend that he told his family about and introduced to was paralytic.
There is really no excuse. As PP's have said apologise, apologise and apologise, but realise they will never forget (or probably) forgive it.
I think that your relationship will probably peter out, your boyfriend is nice and just wouldn't dump you like that but his family will have some influence on him over time.
You are 23, getting silly drunk like that is what young teenagers do, you are lucky that you didn't end up in hospital with alcoholic poisoning.
Just grow up, and learn from this, and stop binge drinking at the weekend as you obviously don't have an "off" switch.
Good Luck!

After drinking a litre of vodka I'm surprised you're not in hospital having your stomach pumped out. That is a massive amount to drink.

Don't hold your breath re still having a BF after what you did.

I'm just wanting to know what you called granny!

Don't think you'll be invited round for Christmas lunch sadly.

Was the brother a decent snog ?

Think you need to grow up

I'm sorry, but as someone who is also medicated for depression and anxiety, blaming drinking that amount of alcohol and the subsequent behaviour on MH is not on. Hand on heart, I think you should take a step back from this relationship if that decision hasn't been made for you already, and work on yourself and your attitude to alcohol. You owe it to yourself and your well being.

Op I can't believe you are more bothered about whether he will dump you or not.
No thought for the fact that if you stay with this man after treating his family like this you will put him in an awful position.
Get help

After drinking a litre of vodka I'm surprised you're not in hospital having your stomach pumped out. That is a massive amount to drink.

Tolerance to alcohol increases over time. I am a functioning alcoholic and I can drink more wine than the normal person could imagine. I put myself into rehab earlier this year to try to beat my addiction, there were people drinking two or three bottles of vodka per day.

OP has a huge problem, it is not about the boyfriend, it is about the alcohol and she needs better help than being told she shouldn't do it. We don't want to do it.

I only drink on weekends
I don't even really enjoy it,I drink to help deal with all the anxiety*

You have a drink problem.

alcoholism comes in many forms. Cut out all spirits, if you can't or end up drinking something else to excess. Then you need to seek help.

I would say the relationship is over.

OK, I think that maybe 'Virtue Signalling' was the wrong phrase to use here. 'Pearl Clutching' is more accurate. If you're drinking a litre of vodka at 23, it's not ideal, but it kinda happens. If you're still doing it at 43, that's not good. I was a pretty drunken fool at 23, and so were all my mates - and we've all turned out fine. Honestly don't beat yourself up OP - you're not the first, and you won't be the last.

Go round and apologise to them all face to face.

Then take a break from drinking as this will most likely help your anxiety.

Don't go around and apologise, OP. Leave them the fuck alone.

If this was someone posting that their male partner had done this - sexually assaulting their sister, calling an elderly woman a cunt - there would be a chorus of 'report him to the police'.

The OP is worse than a pisshead: her behaviour is criminal and abusive. everyone seeking to excuse what she's done should be ashamed.

Okay, so it wasn’t your finest moment, but what’s done is done. I am sure you feel suitably horrified by it all. Apologise to the boyfriend and the family you upset. It’s up to him whether he dumps you, you couldn’t blame him if he did. At least then you would never have to see any of them again. All you can do is try to forget about it and ensure something like this doesn’t happen again. Watch what you drink in future and don’t turn up anywhere with a litre of vodka. They will all get over it in time, as will you. Plenty of people get drunk and make mistakes. You will no doubt look back on this in years to come and still wince, but it won’t be the end of the world.

You are getting a hard time here OP. Clearly you feel remorse for what happened and a MN pile on pointing out the glaringly obvious probably isn't what you need when you most likely have a monstrous hangover and feel deeply embarrassed.

That said, knocking back the best part of a litre of vodka to deal with your anxiety is far from ideal. I suspect you have a drinking problem that needs addressing. That is a huge amount to drink. You could of seriously hurt yourself. In a way cracking on to his brother and swearing at the granny could be viewed as getting off light.

As far as your boyfriend goes, I wouldn't be surprised if he dumped you, it would be very understandable given the circumstances but if he decides to give things another chance you are going to have to do some serious grovelling and apologising to his family and make peace with the idea that they may never be altogether 'keen' on you.

You will never right this wrong. Years down the line your oh will throw the kids in your face and trust me, the family will never like you, merely put up with you after maybe a few years.

Talking from experience (as a part of the family wronged)

Oh OP, I see how much you regret your actions in your posts. You realize that you had a problem Friday night and it was because you drank too much, admitting that is step one.

I’ve been where you are before. Hitting your personal rock bottom sucks. I completely destroyed quite a few friendships because of alcohol. Like you, I didn’t drink every day, just while out. I would drink so much that o would black out. There were times that I didn’t even know where I was when I woke up, or even more scary, who I was with.

No one can tell you what your boyfriend will or will not do. If you want any hope of saving the relationship, you have to tell him you have a serious problem with alcohol and need help. Don’t just say it though, you need to follow through and get the help you need. Even if he does break up with you, you need to apologize to his family. Maybe write them a letter or send flowers or something to show how sorry you are.

I really hope you get the help you need before you find yourself in a more dangerous situation. It may sound cheesy but help is within your reach when you decide you are ready.

Leafyhouse
this isn't a one off for the OP though, people around her have being telling about what happens when she drinks vodka/spirits.

If she knows this, if it has happened many times before, Then just why would she do this when visting a BF family? it wasn't as if she was going out with her mates clubbing.

Kiss* lmao throw the kids in your face hahahaha

Ok op breath and start thinking rationally, beer fear is making you feel worse.

Firstly, let this be a wake up call to you that you never ever touch vodka again. Just don't go there. And also no alcohol is going to help your anxiety.

You are 23, I think most people would be lying to say they didn't get ridiculously drunk at your age and do something they regret, I definitely have.

There is nothing you can do to change it now but how you handle it is going to determine so much for you now. You also can't control if he dumps you or not but again how you handle things now will make both of you feel some bit better regardless of the outcome.

I would contact your bf, apologise, pledge never to drink to that excess or touch vodka again. Tell him you want to stay together but understand if he doesn't or needs time and then leave him be.

I would contact his family and apologise, say you understand, you don't expect forgiveness but nevertheless wanted to apologise and wish them well. Put on your big girl pants, if that was me I would respect the fact you faced me and apologised, I might think "she's a totally idiot but at least she braved it out and faced me". It may not change anything but if you live in a small town it definitely won't hurt.

I got very drunk and called my mil a bitch, to be fair I had every right to as she was being one but things are fine now

1l of vodka? It’s amazing you didn’t end up in hospital. Did you realise you were drinking that much? Who was pouring the drinks?

If you want the relationship to continue I suppose it’s up to your boyfriend if he’s willing but I don’t see how you could ever make it up to his family. Maybe if you’re together for a really long time they’ll be willing to give you a second chance? I somehow don’t think your boyfriend will take the risk however.

Drinking to calm your anxiety is a big worry - self-medicating with alcohol is going to end in alcoholism, if you aren't already there. Please get help.