*triggering* Was I raped?

[Puddingmama2017]

I woke up to my partner having sex with me. I lay still and kept quiet. He didn’t know I was awake. I waited for him to ask or check. He tried to go for anal sex but I cried out so he went back to what he was doing. He tried twice more for anal before returning to what he had been doing. Then got up and left the room.

I’ve said before I didn’t mind him trying to wake me by touches and caresses. Is it my fault? Did he misunderstand? Did I give consent without meaning to? I’m so confused and feel so cold.

Mumsnet will be able to see I’m no troll.

This is my life.

I just woke up after an hour’s sleep. I have a cat on me. The partner that raped me last night is still asleep next to me.

@Ohsolomio not everyone responds to things the same way and your accusations could well be damaging the OP. She's already worried that people won't believe her.

Imagine if I were to say to you that I had been raped and had found myself frozen. And that you must be a troll because, had you really been raped, you would know that that's how people react. How would that make you feel?

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psych-illogical/201808/grinning-and-bearing-it

There has been plenty of research into this. Check the above link. I can find others for you if you like? PM me. But stop derailing the OP's post.

I agree Aridane. I also think there's something odd going on with this thread. It seems to me that certain posters are steering it in to a storyline.

If someone rapes you, you don't lie there 'to see if he asks'

That is such ignorance. There are all manor of ways in which we react, some of us do fight back, some of us shout, some of us say nothing. How dare you say that - it's exactly what I did when I woke up to being raped. Are you saying what happened to me wasn't rape because I didn't fight back?

You've written 'Don't fucking tell me how people react to rape' and then you go and do just that.

This is 2018, not 1918.

If you think OP is a troll hit the button and fuck off away from the thread.

OP I understand why you want to keep things 'normal' but they're not normal. It would be good if you could think of a way for him to go today, safely. If he did that last night, he could do it again tonight. And just because there was no physical violence involved, you shouldn't have to go through it again.

Wake him love, and tell him after the events of last night, he needs to leave for the day
Him: what are you talking about?
You: you need to leave.
Him: I don’t understand!
You: you need to leave
Him: talk to me!
You: I could call the police for help?
Him:

I have no intention of reporting it so it truly wouldnt matter to me if none of you believed me. Or if mumsnet pull the thread though I cannot see why they would since I’ve been around a couple of years.

I believe me and he’s still next to me. I’ve got to deal with that.

Glad you managed to get an hour mama

What are you trying to do to me ohsolomio. You've clearly been stalking me, yet I've had no dealings with you that I recall?

I didn’t say no to anything. I cried out because it hurt.

I didn’t say yes either because it wasn’t a question.

Bear in mind also - the police could help you get him out even if you don’t make a complaint

he has shown his true colours thankfully after a short time things will only get worse he has already done a terrible thing and abused your body charmers are often the worst you are in a strong position speak to womens aid and get shot of him asap

I don't think someone working for skynews would be interested in your stories.. Really?!

mama you don't have to justify yourself to those kinds of accusations

True Long and they don't have to act necessarily

Hi OP, sorry this has happened to you. Stay strong

@Shriek and @Ohsolomio I think you should both leave the thread. I know you are trying to help, Shriek, but it's become a fight between you two which doesn't help OP. Ohsolosmio, I'm so sorry about your experiences. I'm a 'freeze' person- it happened and I did.

Puddingmama, I'm so sorry.

Well don't read if you've something against me, which is charming after the considerarion I've shown you.

Just leave the thread, and stop STALKING ME

Omg, really! safetyfreak

Because I wanted to believe it wasn’t happening. That any second something would happen that would make it right and the lovely man I’ve been planning my future with wasn’t really raping me.

I know you reacted differently ohsolomio, but everyone else reacts differently to it too.

It's all wrong, no matter what your reaction