*triggering* Was I raped?

[Puddingmama2017]

I woke up to my partner having sex with me. I lay still and kept quiet. He didn’t know I was awake. I waited for him to ask or check. He tried to go for anal sex but I cried out so he went back to what he was doing. He tried twice more for anal before returning to what he had been doing. Then got up and left the room.

I’ve said before I didn’t mind him trying to wake me by touches and caresses. Is it my fault? Did he misunderstand? Did I give consent without meaning to? I’m so confused and feel so cold.

Ignore Solo and concentrate on OP. Engaging with Solo makes it worse.

OP, you are doing brilliantly, even since I saw your first post in the early hours.
Just a thought. You said you are all going out for lunch today. Can you not log this incident before you go out, then when you are out, ask your mum to take hour children for a little walk and then tell him in a public place that it's over, hes not coming back to yours and to go.
Not that I give a shit about him, but at least on a Sunday, he can go over to a mates or something. Make it clear you've logged it with 101, so if he tries anything; the police are already aware there is an issue.

Have you come across solo, popcorn?

I revert back to my original comment.

You’re disgusting. Fuck off.

Look ohsolomio, rape does happen that way. Can't you accept that? Crikey, I've prosecuted enough rape trials to know what rape is

Good, obvious plan curly no excuses, plan already set up to use!

@Puddingmama2017 can you take your children to your dm's (or a friend) house and stay there today even if she is at work? Yes you shouldn't have to leave your house-thats not fair but it gives you physical and emotional space to process some of this.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. The shock must have you reeling. I'm also sorry for some of the unwarranted abuse you have received on this thread.

Everyone.

Thank you. You’ve made the loneliest night of my life pass into the light.

I’m in the kitchen, still shaking, with my 18m old DS. I feel sick. He’s still asleep. I need to gather myself and try to get ready to get through today.

Pickle is right. Engaging with -KenClarke- Ohso is pointless. They're a waste of space.

OP just try and think this morning of a way to get him out of the house without him suspecting, if you don't want there to be a ruck in front of the kids. It would be better all round if you didn't wait until Monday.

This is perfect mama ! No need to make any excuses, no lies, you won't have to spend any more time in the same bed again. It will avoid any chance of any recurrence.

I’m doing my best. I need my mum.

I’ve never said that sentence in my life.

Glad to hear you are ok. Have some tea, make a plan then stick to it.

OP, is there anyone, a friend who can come over? Call your mum again. I know shes been working but it's not that early now.

I believe you OP. In a similar situation, I froze too.

I think you are being incredibly brave and incredibly strong. In your circumstances I might call the police and have them ask him to leave, rather than do that yourself, for your safety. Maybe send your kids to lunch with your mum, as I understand your concern about them not being there.

Whatever you do, good luck.

She didn’t say that.

She said she’s prosecuted enough rape trials to know what rape is...

Call your mum and tell her you need her. I'm sure she'll be over like a shot. This is too much for you to go through on your own.

How's your DD on the sofa? Not awake yet? What time will he bebup do you expect.. He'll be off to get his paper soon!

I am sorry to hear about your circumstances OP. My thoughts will be with you today. As for others I think you need to calm down and remember the motive for the post.

Puddingmama2017

When he goes to get the paper, put his things outside with a note saying he is no longer welcome and it's over and drive away with your kids to your mum's or a friends for a few hours. You need him out of your house asap.

Good luck

Ohsolomio Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? Just because people don't react in the same way that you did does not mean they weren't raped. It is utterly normal to freeze and stay quiet, especially when you've been in an otherwise happy relationship. You get confused, shocked, scared. A wonderfully brave friend of mines "D"P was put away for 6 years as he raped her in her sleep throughout their relationship. Not once did she fight him off, tell him to fuck off or stop. She was terrified and she froze. I'm sorry for whatever you went through but you need to brush up your facts on consent.

OP, I hope you're okay and ignoring some of the more ridiculous comments on your thread. Deal with the situation however you see fit. Just know that you are absolutely not the one in the wrong and it was not ýour fault. Get support from someone in real life as soon as you can xx

No friends. No one close. I’m quite insular at the best of times. Just my mum. She was up at 3, with her new bf I assume. She really won’t be awake yet.

OP - can you tell him your mum is having a crisis and lunch is cancelled? And you have to go over there. Then call by your mum’s work at the pub and pick up her key.