to say no to school run?

[Nanaletti]

I'm 4 weeks PP. Usually do the school run once a week to pick up DSS, but my DD is currently quite demanding, I'm knackered, had zero sleep, she's attached to my boob 24/7 and the school run is 20 miles there and 20 miles back.

I'm really stressing about it but know that if I don't do it, DH will be stuck because he's at work.

I'm completely exhausted. WIBU to say no to doing it for the foreseeable future until DD is in a routine?

Is there anyone else that can collect her?

What's the alternative? If you don't do it, and DH is at work.
20 miles is a long way to go to school. Aren't there any closer ones?

@GreatDuckCookery DHs Dad helps sometimes but he's 75 and DH doesn't want to ask him to do 2x 40 mile round trips a day. At the moment he is doing the morning drop off an I'm meant to be doing the pick up. I'm just so, so tired. Most parents who have 2 DC don't have a school run in an entirely different city and over an hour away. I just think 2 hours of driving is a lot on reflection and because I have to get there for 3, it's not like I can stop to feed him on the way as I'll be late. I'm just really stressed about it.

Sorry - DSS. Explains the distance.

@Heratnumber7 no because the school is near his mums house, not ours. She moved to a different city recently.

@Heratnumber7 sorry, xp

I don’t blame you but what can you use instead?

Tbh,if it is once a week I think you should.

@MarshaBradyo part of me thinks that should be down to DH to work out, but part of me then thinks that's a bit harsh

What happens on the other days?

Considering the distance, yanbu. But how come your DH lives so far away from his son?

I will eventually I just think with a nearly 4 week old is too soon. It's not forever but I'm so tired and stressed about it. It'd be fine if I could stop whenever I needed to feed her but I can't. Oh I don't know...

@NailsNeedDoing because his mum moved house a few months ago and there wasn't much he could do about it sadly.

Is it even safe for you to do it, if you're this exhausted and on zero sleep?

YANBU

I agree with you tbh

Hmm. If it’s your role to do the school run not really sure what you’d expect to happen to be fair- that your DH somehow leaves his job or goes part time or something? Or takes annual leave for the days he needs to have his child? What are the options?

Can you get her in a school nearby? If DH is doing it every other day I would try and help him tbh. I know it's hard with a baby but sometimes we just have to get on with stuff.

I cross posted with you. If your dss is so far away from you because of his mums choice to move, then it's up to her to sort it. Or maybe your dss could do after school club until dh can collect after work himself?

No it’s too much, if she starts screaming it will be hellish for you both

If you had needed a c-section for whatever reason you wouldn’t even be allowed to drive. I think people seriously underestimate the time it takes to recover from birth. Four weeks on and you’re expected to spring back into action and drive for two hours. Not forgetting the fact you are severely sleep deprived so it could actually be dangerous.

Personally I think your DH needs to find alternative arrangements until you’re feeling better.

I would see if DSS could go to an after school club and your DH pick up after he finishes work, just for a few weeks. Or you collect from the club as it gives you a bit more time to get there/feed the baby on the way.

@Caprisunorange but that doesn't take in to account the fact that circumstances do change. Our circumstances have changed. When I agreed to the school run it wasn't on the premise that I would do it forever regardless of circumstances. For example if I was offered a pay rise to work on a Friday and I couldn't do the school run anymore, I would take the job offer and we would have to rethink...

It’s only once a week. If it was every day then fair enough but once a week I think you should do it. Plus it’s driving you’re not getting on and off public transport.

Having a new born is tiring but life has to go on.

@GreatDuckCookery DH doesn't do any school runs. Just to add that in to the mix! It's all done by me and his dad.

@Notwhoyouthink35 public transport would be a dream! I don't need to stay awake for that...