Am I or is DH?

[TootingBoots]

We are in a financially shit position. I didn’t get paid in September and he is out of work at the moment with poor mental health. We have 2DC.

We are £1000 into a £1500 overdraft and I’m scared we are going to go over that limit. He has about £700 in savings as he wants to buy something related to his hobby. It has taken him a long time to save this money.

My argument is if we use the £700 to pay off most of the overdraft it would help me sleep at night and stop some of the daily charges. We could then pay him back when we can afford it. I know it sucks to see the money you’ve saved go up in smoke but family finances come before personal.

His argument- he will pay it if we do go to the limit of the planned overdraft. Before then he doesn’t need to. He’s saved for a long time and I’ve had a similar amount of money in my personal account I’ve just spent it rather than saved so can’t contribute to paying this debt off. It wouldn’t be fair to now ask him to do so.

Who’s right? We just keep going in circles with this and I can’t help but find his attitude incredibly selfish.

Mental health issues are an illness and we wouldn’t be telling him to go back to work if he had cancer.

You spent your money on what you wanted, and put whatever was left back in the pot.

No it’s not fair for him to put his savings back into the house, but sometimes life isn’t fair and you have to do things that aren’t fair. He might nit want to do it but the fact remains you are both in serious debt with dc so he needs to use this money for the family, regardless if it’s fair or not. It’s all part of being a grown up

Lots of people with cancer go to work. He needs to earn £50 a week plus whatever extra benefits they are getting (esa). Pp who said pip is an idiot, just look up the criteria.
How does he see the future? He needs to see some consequences or he's just going to be atay at home dad by default. Ok if you agree, or time limited but he needs to get real

Depression is awful, no debate. But your kids can't eat, be heated by or wear a musical instrument, Assuming they are his kids. He is as responsible as you are to provide for them.

Bottom line they come first.... all else is bollocks.