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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby seeing husband naked AIBU?

278 replies

Supertiredmummy · 13/11/2018 22:01

My baby has just started walking and is running about already.
So today they ran into the bathroom whilst my husband was out the shower drying off and toweling his hair. He freaked out send told me to take her away. Initially I thought it was because she had scared him (ie. Not realising she was there nearly stepping on her ) by turns out it was purely because he was naked. I laughed this off explaining she had seen me naked plenty (hell Im still breast-feeding ) but he got very serious and doesn't feel comfortable about it.
AIBU to think this is strange? And trying to get him comfortable considering she might do this lots in the years to come?
X

OP posts:
OutingMyself · 15/11/2018 18:06

My DD once told the nursery staff that her Daddy poos in the garden. They didn't tell SS as far as I know.

OutingMyself · 15/11/2018 18:06

(He didnt/doesn't btw. To be clear Wink)

fiona25 · 15/11/2018 18:12

tbhome I think it's all about how you grew up. my nan was very open (she was eldest of 10) my ma is very much a prude but me and my 2 sisters are sooooooo open with each other and our own children. I have 2 boys (9 and 4) and I'm pretty much near naked unless I'm have to wear clothes or in pj bottoms and vest top.my ma would freak out if we needed to speak to her and she was in bathroom. better to be open 100%.

until today when prepping for an ecg I had to lift a boob.

beanii · 15/11/2018 18:13

Sorry if this has been asked but haven't had chance to read the whole thread - is it his daughter?

If it isn't then maybe I can SLIGHTLY understand it (not really though as she is so young).

If she is the he needs to lighten up as he may pass his consciousness onto her in time.

anniehm · 15/11/2018 18:15

I wish my now adult DD's would stop barging in whilst I'm dressing! (Generally trying to steal my tights). However it is a matter of personal choice, some families are really open and have no issues with nudity, others cover up fully - I met a family that go to nudist places, to eaches own! We are somewhere in the middle

clarkl2 · 15/11/2018 18:16

Odd

beanii · 15/11/2018 18:24

Also - why didn't he just put the towel around him?

tinpanali00 · 15/11/2018 18:29

I decided not to be naked in front of my children any more when they started looking away or leaving the room. I don't think they even realised they were doing it, but I didn't want them to have to ask.

If everyone is relaxed about it, who cares if dad wants to keep his pants on? It's no big deal, although I'm quite glad my dad marched across the landing from the bathroom to the bedroom every morning of his life, stark naked except for his slippers. When we didn't want to see it any more, we just stayed in our rooms until after the march past.

I think you're right to be worried about your dh's reaction. He panicked. You need to talk about why it was such a big deal for him.

Sheffmum1 · 15/11/2018 18:32

NO , YANBU... that’s crazy and he needs to get used to it! My kids are 5 and 8 and still like having a bath my hubby. It’s totally natural.

jessebuni · 15/11/2018 18:33

I guess it’s his body his choice but it is a bit unusual. Most children and parents aren’t bothered by nakedness until nearing puberty age. I wouldn’t think about being naked in front of a 3 year old for example but I may be a bit more careful around an 11 year old

woodhill · 15/11/2018 18:35

I don't think it's a big deal when mine were little. I used to lock the door when I went to the toilet or had a shower unless they were tiny babies.

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 15/11/2018 18:37

We were not a naked family and we never saw each other in the nip. I am with your husband but as someone else said, it's for him to manage. He needs to use a lock on the door.

Bodabing · 15/11/2018 18:40

It could be worse, my DH does the 'willy dance' which generally makes my teenage DS roll his eyes and leave, middle DS scream and run and youngest DD just say yuk, that's stupid daddy. We have yet to see how this behaviour scars them, I think it was originally a plan to try and encourage the kids to knock on the bedroom door, didn't work.

CountryGirl1234 · 15/11/2018 18:41

I don’t think this is strange or ridiculous, if he doesn’t feel that’s right for him. I never saw my dad naked I would think it a bit weird if I did to be honest. Perfectly normal.

Happymonster · 15/11/2018 18:52

My parents never had any qualms about nudity. First time my hubby to be met my Dad he was striding through the hall bShockllShockck naked with just a pair of old fashioned suspender socks on!
I do think your attitude to your own body is picked up by your children. How will the “boys have willies girls have fannies” (or whatever you want to call them) conversation with your young daughter be meaningful for her? Isn’t that a rite of passage?

Purpleartichoke · 15/11/2018 18:54

My DH was the same. I thought it was silly, but I respected his privacy with regards to Dd.

jocarter67 · 15/11/2018 18:58

Men sometimes are very uncomfortable especially with girls, if he’s not happy with her seeing him naked then I don’t think it should be a problem. Al

Gilld69 · 15/11/2018 18:59

some mums and dads do feel uncomfortable it didnt bother me in front of my girls but it did with my son when he got to about 3 my husband wasnt comfortable for any of them to be in bathroom when he was in bath just one of those things i wouldnt worry about it

FairyFlake45 · 15/11/2018 19:00

Very odd behaviour...she’s only young?
Once she gets to be an adolescent then it would be totally understandable for either of them to not want to see each other naked!

svalentine60 · 15/11/2018 19:10

All these comments saying he is being ridiculous are in themselves ridiculous. He is entitled to feel how he feels and for people here and you to say how odd it is etc and he has to get used to it is a bit arrogant and selfish. He obviously feels uncomfortable about it. There might not be any particular reason. The fact is that it is how he feels so stop acting as though he has no right to his own feelings and has to follow what you think and feel. YABU

Barrowes · 15/11/2018 19:10

Everyone is different, I have 4 boys. 3 of them will come in bathroom while i am having a shower or bath and chat with me, the other would talk through the door. if he is not comfortable with it, no biggie, his choice. just encourage him to close the door as the baby can crawl around.

Studentwife · 15/11/2018 19:11

We are very chilled about nudity in our house. We only have one bathroom! If someone is showering and another needs the loo then I’m afraid it’s - walk right in!
When my now 30 year old daughter still lived at home she reckons she had the best chats with her dad when he was in the bath!
I’m not saying we look at each other’s bits and bobs just kind of ignore the fact the other person has no clothes on!

Sadbri · 15/11/2018 19:20

I don’t understand why people think this is odd behaviour. I have never seen neither my mum or dad naked.
It was just an unsaid rule that you didn’t walk around naked. From about 6 I had my own baths or showers and sorted myself out.
My OH doesn’t let our LG see him naked and I’m fine with that and similarly I may walk around without a top but always have undies on at least. When my LG is a little older I’ll probably start wearing more especially in the mornings and to bed.

browneyes77 · 15/11/2018 19:20

When I was 14, I went upstairs only to get half way up and see my dad butt naked on the landing because he’d forgotten to take his towel into the bathroom and had to run out to grab one.

He didn’t see me, but I saw way more than I wanted to. I was scarred for life Grin

I think for as young as your DD is, his reaction seems a little daft, but if he doesn’t feel comfortable then that’s his perogative to feel that way.

mathanxiety · 15/11/2018 19:21

I think it's something that is common.

YYY to 'it's just one of those things' and also 'he needs to lock the door if he feels that way'.