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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby seeing husband naked AIBU?

278 replies

Supertiredmummy · 13/11/2018 22:01

My baby has just started walking and is running about already.
So today they ran into the bathroom whilst my husband was out the shower drying off and toweling his hair. He freaked out send told me to take her away. Initially I thought it was because she had scared him (ie. Not realising she was there nearly stepping on her ) by turns out it was purely because he was naked. I laughed this off explaining she had seen me naked plenty (hell Im still breast-feeding ) but he got very serious and doesn't feel comfortable about it.
AIBU to think this is strange? And trying to get him comfortable considering she might do this lots in the years to come?
X

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 13/11/2018 22:22

My DH is like this. Even though our DDs are both still very young (4 & 2) he won't let them see him naked, even when they were babies.

I think it's all a bit excessive but to be fair in our culture where there's an almost hysteria now about paedophiles etc, I guess some men just don't feel comfortable about children of any age seeing them naked any more.

SuperstarDJ · 13/11/2018 22:24

Does he never look after her on his own?
How does he go to the loo in peace?

Neither of these generally involve full body nakedness?

It sounds as if he overreacted a bit but if he doesn’t want to be naked around his children then he doesn’t have to be. Easily manageable if he locks the door (and assuming he doesn’t sleep naked)

TheGrassIsGreener3 · 13/11/2018 22:26

It's his personal choice who he wants to be seen naked by.

I personally think it's a good thing when parents don't hide their bodies around their children as it encourages confidence and embracing your own body.

However, your DH obviously feels uncomfortable about this. So don't think he's 'strange' for this.

WorraLiberty · 13/11/2018 22:28

Slightly odd, it’s all very well to say it’s up to him but as a PP said she doesn’t get the chance to say she wants privacy from the toddler because she can’t just leave them alone when she wants a shower.

We don't know this about the OP

Perhaps she showers in peace when her DH is home?

Either way, from reading the opening post I'm guessing the OP is ok about being naked in front of the kids.

Her DH isn't and that's up to him.

homeishere · 13/11/2018 22:30

OP - maybe he’d just finished having/was int he middle of/about to have a wank?

That’s the only plausible reason I can think of for this weird behaviour.

DishranawaywiththeSpoon · 13/11/2018 22:31

It's a bit weird though isn't it? To worry about a baby seeing you naked? Like to actually freak out about it? What's he worried about? It's his child, who literally feeds off you. It's obviously fine for them to see you naked so why not him?

I supposed he's entitled to his privacy, providing obviously shes well cared for, and you would also be allowed the same but he's not entitled to make you police it. He should lock the door if he wants privacy.

jelliebelly · 13/11/2018 22:32

He's entitled to privacy but seems to have over reacted somewhat. Depends if you want your children to be comfortable about nakedness generally I suppose.

JeremyCorbynsBlueCagoule · 13/11/2018 22:34

It is unusual. Of course he's entitled to feel however he wants to feel, but OP asked if people think it's strange, so people are responding to that question.

WorraLiberty · 13/11/2018 22:37

I think it's a bit strange for 2018 yes

However, my Dad is nearly 87 and my Mum would've been 89 if she was still alive and to them, (old fashioned Irish Catholics), not being naked in front of your kids was totally normal.

They had 5 of us and none of us have any hang-ups about nudity as a result.

So I'm not sure it really matters either way.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/11/2018 22:37

Surely he has a right to say no? OK he has to lock the doors, and I'm sure if there was an emergency with her he wouldn't stop to put in a 3 piece suit but can't you just respect his feelings?

RavenWings · 13/11/2018 22:40

His body, his choice surely. We hear it all the time for women but it also applies to men.

RavenWings · 13/11/2018 22:42

And I think that in this era of increased awareness of child abuse (a good thing obviously!) many men are extremely cautious around children. So that may explain why he's worried and you aren't OP - so easy for someone to misinterpret something innocent.

NotOnTheBench · 13/11/2018 22:51

Very odd. If he's shy / worried he should lock the door. He's the grown up so the baby should not have to decide whether she wants to bump into him or not.

ladybee28 · 13/11/2018 22:55

When you asked him to help you understand his point of view, what did he say?

WitchBottle · 13/11/2018 22:59

I’d be suggesting he unpick his deep-seated body issues. What does he think seeing his body will do to his baby daughter? And if he wants showering to be private — and frankly, who doesn’t, if they have demanding small children? — he should lock the door.

HidingFromMyKids · 13/11/2018 23:00

I agree that if he doesn't feel comfortable that should be respected but I also feel that as a mother I never had that choice what with breastfeeding and having to shower with them in the bathroom etc.
My DD is 4 and will always come and pester me while I'm in the bath or sit on the toilet and chat.
However on the flip side I have a vivid memory of my father fully naked in the shower. I must have been older than 9 and I hate that I remember it so clearly especially since I'm low contact with him and out of the few memories I have with him that occasionally pops into my head.
At the moment she's a baby! In my experience babies/toddlers/small children just want to be around you as much as possible and won't care or notice too much.

londonrach · 13/11/2018 23:00

Ott. My dh was abit like that but become more normal and relaxed since dd. Its just a body and normal.

Blueblueyellow · 13/11/2018 23:03

homeishere now you are making it weird! Op that is nomal,I know a few of my friends partners are like that.Don't recall ever seeing my own parents naked either.And my own Dp would cover up if our DC walked in on him naked.Don't worry about it.

Petitepamplemousse · 13/11/2018 23:03

Very odd of him.

User97532468 · 13/11/2018 23:04

I suspect he has a wank in there too. My husband used to be the same and I think this is why.

Blueblueyellow · 13/11/2018 23:04

*don't worry about it!

YouCanCallMeJodieWho · 13/11/2018 23:04

He sounds as if he has some big issues.

WTF does he think is going to happen?

Sounds totally precious to me. I've never got any bodily autonomy when my boys were babies. And they haven't turned into sexual predators thus far.

puzzledlady · 13/11/2018 23:06

wth your husband is a bit odd.

sunsalutations · 13/11/2018 23:10

My DCs regularly walk into the en-suite which has no lock to ask me "important" questions when I am in the shower e.g. where's my tie? DD is 10 and DS is 12. It's no big deal in our household. I keep wondering when my son will start getting embarrassed about it but hasn't happened yet

recraft · 13/11/2018 23:14

It's not odd. It's his choice, let him be.