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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby seeing husband naked AIBU?

278 replies

Supertiredmummy · 13/11/2018 22:01

My baby has just started walking and is running about already.
So today they ran into the bathroom whilst my husband was out the shower drying off and toweling his hair. He freaked out send told me to take her away. Initially I thought it was because she had scared him (ie. Not realising she was there nearly stepping on her ) by turns out it was purely because he was naked. I laughed this off explaining she had seen me naked plenty (hell Im still breast-feeding ) but he got very serious and doesn't feel comfortable about it.
AIBU to think this is strange? And trying to get him comfortable considering she might do this lots in the years to come?
X

OP posts:
PasswordRejection · 14/11/2018 11:57

Sorry worridmum, I didn't mean to imply you were making it up, just that it was ridiculous for the nursery staff to have made a referral!

Limensoda · 14/11/2018 11:59

Not very helpful to declare you have no problem with nudity in your family to someone who does.
Neither is calling them ridiculous or saying they have paedophilia tendencies.
People feel differently about these things. OP's dh must have his reasons so it's stupid to ridicule him.

averythinline · 14/11/2018 12:05

I can understand why it might have caught him by surprise....but i can't understand why he's not looked after her for an extended time....nudity meh personal opinion (DH is the noodie in this house im less often but don't see fuss either way )

Get him looking after her for a bit

PasswordRejection · 14/11/2018 12:06

NRPDad but surely if you take your son into the men's toilets he will see men using urinals at some point? And in changing rooms, they are going to see other adults getting changed as most people don't use cubicles in single sex changing rooms?

TheRenegadeMaster · 14/11/2018 12:18

@PasswordRejection although it was crazy that @worridmum had to go to meetings about this, surely this could also be a good thing? Shows that schools and nurseries are aware that there are families out there where parents are abusing kids. I'd rather be accused of such a thing and proved them wrong, than hear of kids being abused at home and no one noticed the red flags.

PasswordRejection · 14/11/2018 12:26

TheRenegadeMaster SS are stretched to near breaking point and kids who are suffering real abuse and neglect are constantly slipping through the net. I just don't think the best use of this already limited resource is to have social workings taking time out of their already really busy days to have meetings with the parents of kids who have seen their dad's willies. I get where you're coming from but if that was all the little girl said I think it's frankly bizarre that a nursery would deem that worth reporting.

PasswordRejection · 14/11/2018 12:27

*social workers not workings!!

DistanceCall · 14/11/2018 12:33

I've seen my mother naked plenty of times, but never my father (his choice).

And honestly, given the current climate of hysteria about all males being potential child abusers, I can't blame your husband.

Limensoda · 14/11/2018 12:44

NRPDad but surely if you take your son into the men's toilets he will see men using urinals at some point?

I'm not an expert on the use of urinals but my DP tells me men don't flaunt their penises whilst taking a piss and you would have to stand right next to them and try to look down on their genitals ..which is probably hidden by the way they position their hand over their penis... You only see a bloke stood up.

RadicalFern · 14/11/2018 13:34

I have never seen my dad naked, even when I was little. He’s shy. That’s ok - nobody has to be naked if they don’t want to. My mum was very chill and we had baths with her when we were small.

It’s ridiculous for pp to say that children will grow up disfunctional or not understanding about male and female bodies if their parents aren’t naked in front of them. Get a grip.

Juells · 14/11/2018 16:05

Get a grip.

^^ This

Zofloramummy · 14/11/2018 16:18

Never saw my dad naked at all as a child. Parenting wise I just think it’s personal choice. If he doesn’t feel comfortable then he needs to turn away from the baby and have a towel to hand. If it’s the first incident it was probably a shock! I’m sure he’ll get over it.

Original poster
Supertiredmummy · 14/11/2018 16:31

Lord I think we're straying little off-topic/serious at points! I was just asking if his reaction was unreasonable because he acted like something terrible was happening ! X

OP posts:
Weejo39 · 14/11/2018 19:57

Looks like this story had been picked up by the mailConfused

Weejo39 · 14/11/2018 19:58

Here

Baby seeing husband naked AIBU?
MattBerrysHair · 14/11/2018 20:04

I think he's being OTT, but I can understand why considering the naked human body has been over sexualised. It's pretty sad really. Bodies are just bodies, they don't = sex.

Original poster
Supertiredmummy · 14/11/2018 22:17

Oh my word! Shouldn't they focus on actual news?!

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 14/11/2018 22:18

"I've seen my mother naked plenty of times, but never my father (his choice)."

How do you know you didn't see him naked as a baby?
I completely understand a man not wanting a child who is aware of things seeing him naked, but a baby is different.

NoParticularPattern · 14/11/2018 22:22

Up to him how he feels. I guess if he doesn’t want her to see him naked he should probably lock the door though. Not just freak out and be a bit weird about it.

Mishappening · 14/11/2018 22:22

It has never been any sort of problem in our family. Children naturally reach an age when they become more conscious of their genitals and want to cover up; and at the same time they don't want to view anyone else naked.

Prior to that it just washes by them and they are simply learning what bodies look like. How else do they find out since genitalia are usually covered up? I would rather they learned these things naturally in a family context when they are little; than via some prurient website when they are older.

cindersrella · 14/11/2018 22:25

My husband is just like this too. He is really funny with our girls. I actually think it's quite sad he feels like this too

TryingToSayRightThing · 14/11/2018 22:28

My kids have to see me naked otherwise I'd never get a bath or go to the loo. Lucky bastard that he'd even have an option not to be seen in the nude!

Seriously though, I don't find it too strange but it is a bit sad. To feel uncomfortable with his innocent kids seeing him naked I think means there's a bit of a barrier there

Noboozeforme · 14/11/2018 23:37

@Steakandkidney

My oldest DS was/is very uncomfortable with a too. I'm more careful around him though he doesn't shut the bathroom door much either.

I always knock on younger DS's room and both the DS's knock on each other's doors - I've just never been bothered if they knock on mine and tbh my door is always open.

HoppingPavlova · 15/11/2018 11:16

Don't you end up dripping water all over the house?

Huh? You towel yourself dry in the bathroom when you get out of the shower so why would you drop all through the house? How odd.

The point is if you walk back to your bedroom to get changed with the towel around you to protect against nudity then you are left with a wet towel that you need to put somewhere while you get dressed then you need to walk it back to the bathroom or laundry if you wish to wash it.

Basically in our house having to deal with returning a wet towel is a far greater issue than nudity Grin. No one cares about nudity but having to cart a wet towel around .......

BruegeITheElder · 15/11/2018 11:18

Huh? You towel yourself dry in the bathroom when you get out of the shower so why would you drop all through the house? How odd

Ohh I get it!

I have an ensuite bathroom so never really thought about the immense effort of carting a wet towel around Grin