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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby seeing husband naked AIBU?

278 replies

Supertiredmummy · 13/11/2018 22:01

My baby has just started walking and is running about already.
So today they ran into the bathroom whilst my husband was out the shower drying off and toweling his hair. He freaked out send told me to take her away. Initially I thought it was because she had scared him (ie. Not realising she was there nearly stepping on her ) by turns out it was purely because he was naked. I laughed this off explaining she had seen me naked plenty (hell Im still breast-feeding ) but he got very serious and doesn't feel comfortable about it.
AIBU to think this is strange? And trying to get him comfortable considering she might do this lots in the years to come?
X

OP posts:
BlackberryandNettle · 16/11/2018 00:10

Also unless she has any brothers, her dad always covering up means at some point she's going to get a surprise when she realises boys look different from girls - que a load of questions/curiosity.

LassWiADelicateAir · 16/11/2018 00:59

I guess it’s his body his choice but it is a bit unusual. Most children and parents aren’t bothered by nakedness until nearing puberty age

Really? Not my experience. I don't know anyone, friends or family who wander around naked the way MN families do.

user4041 · 16/11/2018 01:05

This made the sun newspaper just a heads up

LassWiADelicateAir · 16/11/2018 01:08

I think it's important for children to see naked body from a young age so they know that they come in all different shapes and sizes and aren't like on the tv/in magazines

That is such a load of tosh but it always gets trotted out by the "we're so cool with being naked" brigade.

Children can see perfectly by looking around them that people come in all shapes and sizes. Children go to swimming pools and beaches. They will be in school changing rooms and gyms.They don't need to see naked parents to work that out.

chloem93 · 16/11/2018 02:08

From his point of view, maybe he just wants privacy as he's in the bathroom and let's be honest, most adults go to the bathroom for peace and quiet if kids are involved. I could be wrong though and yes he shouldn't make it such a big deal.

Lennythelion14 · 16/11/2018 05:25

Simples, put lock on bathroom and remind him to use it. My husband has never been seen naked by our kids. But different upbringings make different people. Plus the fact as women, when our kids are small, they are around us most of the time. You can't even go to the toilet in peace, let alone when you shower lol.

woodhill · 16/11/2018 07:59

I always covered up and shut the toilet door. I vaguely remember my ds in the bedroom commenting " is that your bottom" or something when he was a toddler. Just didn't like it so end of.

I never took mine in the toilet or bathroom with me unless small baby.

Mrseft · 16/11/2018 08:29

My husband doesn't let our daughters see him naked if he can help it. My 4-year-old has only ever seen him disrobed once or twice when its been forced because I wasn't present and safety comes first. It's a personal thing and its his choice. You might think it's crazy but it's not your body and not your choice.

Juells · 16/11/2018 08:46

It's a personal thing and its his choice. You might think it's crazy but it's not your body and not your choice.

^^ This with knobs on

Jellicoe · 16/11/2018 08:58

You've got to respect his feelings and body on this. I know it sounds "irrational" to think that men have their rights to their person! He isn't ridiculous. He needs a lock.

straightjeans · 16/11/2018 08:59

Nothing wrong with it. Especially since kids are so curious and handsy.

strawberrisc · 16/11/2018 09:17

(Trying to ignore the fact that another grown adult has just used the word simples)

I feel very strongly that EVERYBODY is entitled to their own opinion and personal feelings about nakedness. I'm one of those who gets dressed in a cubicle in the gym/swimming baths but don't judge those who don't.

ralfeesmum · 16/11/2018 10:26

He's being a bit quirky, but all he has to do is lock the bathroom door. Sorted.

BruegeITheElder · 16/11/2018 10:42

Of course he's entitled not to let her see him naked.

Similarly, I'd be perfectly entitled to never let my kids see me without a baseball cap. That's my right. But that wouldn't stop it being weird!

Tessabelle1 · 16/11/2018 22:57

Flip this round, would you be happy if he carried on allowing something you weren't comfortable with? It's his body and he has the right to his privacy,, so yabu, whether you find it weird is irrelevant

LassWiADelicateAir · 17/11/2018 03:35

Similarly, I'd be perfectly entitled to never let my kids see me without a baseball cap. That's my right. But that wouldn't stop it being weird!

There is nothing weird about it not wanting to be naked in front of your children or not wanting to see your parents naked.

LassWiADelicateAir · 17/11/2018 03:40

I feel very strongly that EVERYBODY is entitled to their own opinion and personal feelings about nakedness

I was in my mid 50s when I started posting on MN. 50 plus years without ever encountering this "oh we're all naked here and everyone's fine with it" which seems to be the norm.

mathanxiety · 17/11/2018 04:44

It's a personal thing and its his choice. You might think it's crazy but it's not your body and not your choice.

YYY to this.
'Sauce for the goose', etc.

Original poster
Supertiredmummy · 18/11/2018 18:43

UPDATE :
I asked him why he reacted the way he did with the baby and it's simply he's not comfortable being naked around anyone except me. Completely fair enough so I said "if you feel that way just make sure you close the doors/lock the bathroom etc." To which he got all annoyed saying he shouldn't have to keep an eye out all the time and worry and I should be keeping an eye on the baby!!

The nerve!!! Shock

OP posts:
Steakandkidney · 18/11/2018 18:48

I was in my mid 50s when I started posting on MN. 50 plus years without ever encountering this "oh we're all naked here and everyone's fine withit" which seems to be the norm*

Exactly. On here it's totally normal for your 17 year old son to get in bed with you in the morning to watch TV for a bit.
1 Poster: er no that's not normal
All the others: don't be ridiculous He's MY SON! Of course he gets in with us, we love doing this at the weekend, it's our family time, blah blah
Someone else: Oh yes it was only this weekend that our 21 year old and 19 year old got in our super dooper king size and slept side by side with us
The first poster: OMG how awkward. They have morning glory at that age.
All the others: Gosh don't be so inappropriate.
First poster Hmm Confused

Weird on here it is.

thetwinkletoescollective · 18/11/2018 18:54

I have never seen my dad naked.

I stopped my older son seeing me from about 6/7 years. As I was a bit more open about it all.

thetwinkletoescollective · 18/11/2018 18:54

But I am actually glad I have never seen my dad naked.

mathanxiety · 18/11/2018 19:19

He is being unreasonable about the door and presumably expecting you to hover around while he is in the bathroom and keep the baby away.

Tell him you are not going to do that and he needs to attend to the door himself.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/11/2018 23:16

"But I am actually glad I have never seen my dad naked."

Yes, but if you'd seen him naked as a baby, you wouldn't remember it and you wouldn't have a concept of nudity. It's quite different to seeing him at 5 years old, isn't it?

tildaMa · 19/11/2018 02:38

I said "if you feel that way just make sure you close the doors/lock the bathroom etc." To which he got all annoyed saying he shouldn't have to keep an eye out all the time and worry and I should be keeping an eye on the baby!!

Sounds like he needs reminding it's his baby too and you're not the sole carer.
I'd be booking a nice solo weekend away so he can get to spend more time with his child.