Baby seeing husband naked AIBU?

[Supertiredmummy]

My baby has just started walking and is running about already.
So today they ran into the bathroom whilst my husband was out the shower drying off and toweling his hair. He freaked out send told me to take her away. Initially I thought it was because she had scared him (ie. Not realising she was there nearly stepping on her ) by turns out it was purely because he was naked. I laughed this off explaining she had seen me naked plenty (hell Im still breast-feeding ) but he got very serious and doesn't feel comfortable about it.
AIBU to think this is strange? And trying to get him comfortable considering she might do this lots in the years to come?
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He is way iver reacting because he is basically saying he is treating her as if she was a sexual being, from the opposite sex.
As this toddler is what? about 1 year old, this is a totally inappropriate way of reacting
I don't want to be naked in front of my father, I'm 36. Is it because I see him as a sexual being of the opposite sex? Oh god am I Ophelia???? Or is he? I never actually studied the play. Actually dint wanna be naked in front of my mum either... Or the vicar. Or DS's teacher. So many SECUAL BEINGS What's wrong with me???

Would he feel the same if your child was a boy? I could understand if your daughter was pubescent but a toddler?
I would have to get to the bottom of his reaction but them I'm nosey. In the end he just has to lock the door when he is naked. Job done.

"Well exactly, funny how few women get to make this choice."

"As for "his body his choice" he's not consenting to sex he's in front of a baby who isn't fucking looking."

Women have to get used to it because after all, our private bits is where the ba y comes out of and feeds from.

Women are then on Maternity Leave and are around their babies, so you have to get over it, or leave them to cry.

My DH was brought up to not be naked. He would bath with our DDs wearing swim shorts. I'm 51, he was slightly older.

The issue is that the male part, sticks out and is in the face of a toddler.

If my toddler was underneath me whilst I was naked, I wouldn't like it.

On the other hand it is best to wait and be directed by your child. It's better than the thread we're the DH was almost insistent that it was OK to have a wee in front of their DD, who didn't like it.

I used to hate my Mum getting changed in front of me and I felt it was inflicted onto me.

I know a lot of people who cringe at the memory of Parents not respecting their boundaries around nakedness.

"" As this toddler is what? about 1 year old, this is a totally inappropriate way of reacting*""
"" Idon't want to be naked in front of my father,""

I was my DDs Birth Partner. Other than that I don't want to see her, or my other DDs naked. It doesn't bother me if it accidently happened, but I don't want to be naked or see people naked, who I am most definitely not sexually attracted to.

There's some really dangerous bullshit spouted on this thread.

I know a lot of people who cringe at the memory of Parents not respecting their boundaries around nakedness.

Glad someone has voiced this. I'm one of those people.

I've never even thought twice about being naked in front of my kids - they're virtually me, I grew them, it's no different to being naked alone - that's my boundaries, and DP's.

My kids, well the youngest prefers not to be naked in front of us, and that's fine, the oldest is getting to the age when he'd prefer not to see us naked if possible (doesn't seem to mind for himself!) which is fine (although we're not going to go out of our way to cover up, we're not going to go out of our way to be naked around him either)

I do find it a little bit odd that a parent is so worried about a toddler seeing them naked. It does smack a little bit of something that could be explored more to find out why he feels this way.

I think it's an overreaction on his part purely because I'm thinking that his daughter wouldn't have known.

But what's with the getting Op to send her away?

Stick a towel on & take her out yourself!

So will he now be locking the bathroom door whilst he showers & dries & the bedroom door whilst he dresses?

Bit of a strange reaction from your DH.

I can't see that it's odd. Different families have different mores. I had two daughters, they never saw me naked. Might be something to do with living in a cold house But my sister and I used to be bug-eyed, as children, when we stayed with an aunt who thought nothing of running around the house with no clothes on.

@FrumpyTrumpy I don't like to kiss family members on the mouth (including my infant sister) so yes, I'm sure I will be like this. I'm not comfortable at the thought whatsoever of being naked in front of others.

@FrumpyTrumpy and also, how rude??? People don't have children just so they can kiss them on the lips and prance around naked in front of them??? I want kids because I want kids, there are thousands of ways to show love and affections which don't include the above.

Respect other people's comfort zones maybe ??

My exH would never let our DD see him naked and he always insisted she doesn't run around our home in a state of undress (just her knickers) in his presence since she was about 4. I just went along with it because it's not important enough to get worked up about.
Hence I don't think your H is being unreasonable but neither are you. It's a non-issue really.

I think it's a weird reaction personally and based on the fact that the baby is a girl.

My DH doesn't go out of his way to be naked in front of our DDs (a toddler and a baby) but if it happens he doesn't freak out about it. Same with me - if they see me naked then oh well but they're little. Who cares.

My DM to this day will turn to face the wall with her back to me if she's changing which I find completely ridiculous!

If DC don't see parents naked whilst growing up how do they learn about the differences between men and women? From books at school? In the swimming pool changing room? Porn? When they start having relationships? I can't imagine that mystifying the human body is going to encourage healthy attitudes

I think it's fine for your DH to feel a little uncomfortable by it and lock the door in future to avoid this sort of thing happening again. The fact is everybody feels differently when it comes to being naked in front of others. No problems there. But I don't think his reaction was okay - at all. Freaking out because your baby saw you in the buff. Really? Does she even know where her nose is yet?!

I think parents need to be very careful with how they manage this sort of thing. Your DH's reaction sounds extreme, and all it will do is breed a sense of shame and embarrassment in your DD about the 'natural form' if it continues to happen. It's just a body, so why make such a meal of it? Again, I think it's fine to put boundaries in place by way of locks or asking children to always knock when mummy and daddy are getting ready, etc., but freaking out because your baby walked in on you naked is so unnecessary. Look at the underlying message that will be sending to your DD at such a young age - it's not a good one! Why didn't DH simply wrap the towel around his waist, take her wee hand and say, 'Come on, poppet. Let's go and find mummy so that daddy can finish getting ready?'

Conversely “if dc see parents naked all the time how do they learn about their right to privacy and not showing people their body when not comfy to do so”

Why are people turning something which is basically a personal choice into such a massive issue? If your comfy naked around your child (and they are comfy with it) then great, if your not equally great. It really shouldn’t be a big issue. There isn’t a right or wrong

Whether he is happy about it or not, he can't make a big deal about it if it happens, as this (and not the nudity) will affect the child. It's tough to look after a child single-handed without them seeing you naked at some point.

I agree with the pp who mentioned a heightened worry of accusation of abuse. It is sad but true!

I once found a lost child at a really crowded festival, I lifted her up as high as I could in the hopes that she would find her parents or they would then see her - I was telling my husband after and he was horrified and said he would never lay a hand on a lost child for fear of accusation of something!

I wonder if he is worried she will tell people in the future about seeing daddy naked and that they will be concerned by this? I can see why people would think this way, as irrational as it is.

Sirzy because on threads like this on MN there is a majority of posters that can’t seem to accept that people have a personal choice or preference that differs from theirs. There is a right or wrong and of course their choice is the right one. Everyone else that thinks differently is just odd, weird, sinister, wrong blah blah.

I do think it's normal for children to see parents naked but not essential

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good luck with you boundary respecting baby! People always have such interesting ideas about childrearing before they actually have babies :D FWIW I thnk you have to be naked even during a C section, maybe they'll let you wear jeans though.

I think it shows he has boundaries which is a very positive thing.

good luck with you boundary respecting baby!

I don’t have one of those.

This morning dh was in the bathroom (naked). Ds3 (18 months) pushed the bathroom door open and ran in...and just as dh turned, ds3 lifted his hand and slapped him square in the bollocks, hard...a proper loud, ringing slap, quick as a flash.

Dh doubled over pretty quickly and I’ve never found it so difficult to try and do the whole calm ‘no ds, we don’t hit’ thing in my life .

I suspect dh will be more inclined to keep his pants on now though!

Not normal, needs to chill and get to grips with family life. Does he look after her - maybe he should do more which could help him be more comfortable cc that this is normal family life...

🤣 my DD only just stopped showering with her dad at 6yo. They loved it as an evening ritual. Loads of singing, splashing and talking about their days.

Admittedly we’re a fairly nudey, liberal family but just to give you another perspective. It is possible for nudity and intergenerational bodies to interact without anything weird going on. In fact, I’m determined to teach my DD that bodies are beautiful and functional in all their shapes and sizes for as long as I can.

Mine will be one girl who won’t be drawn into ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ games, she’ll be off finding more interesting things to do. She’s seen it all!

Like @Ignoramusgiganticus my 16 yr old DS still sees me naked. I don't walk about naked (much) but bath with the door open and he never knocks when coming into my room. He will often sit in the hall telling me about his day while I'm in the bath.

I grew up in a very non naked household and I much prefer it this way.