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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby seeing husband naked AIBU?

278 replies

Supertiredmummy · 13/11/2018 22:01

My baby has just started walking and is running about already.
So today they ran into the bathroom whilst my husband was out the shower drying off and toweling his hair. He freaked out send told me to take her away. Initially I thought it was because she had scared him (ie. Not realising she was there nearly stepping on her ) by turns out it was purely because he was naked. I laughed this off explaining she had seen me naked plenty (hell Im still breast-feeding ) but he got very serious and doesn't feel comfortable about it.
AIBU to think this is strange? And trying to get him comfortable considering she might do this lots in the years to come?
X

OP posts:
bringbackthestripes · 13/11/2018 23:24

Is your DH self conscious naked with you? Just curious.
Is he concerned he would be called inappropriate if he was naked in front of DD?
I came from a home where DM happily walked round naked but DF covered up and so the male body was (embarrassingly) a mystery for me for very many uncomfortable relationships. I do wish it had been less of an issue earlier on TBH.

Penguin34 · 13/11/2018 23:27

It's a shame but he can't help if it makes him uncomfortable.
My baby is only 9 weeks and my husband doesn't want to sleep naked in the same room as her, would be different if she was a boy.
He also didn't want to put nappy cream on her but I told him where to go with that one!

WorraLiberty · 13/11/2018 23:28

FFS at the 'wanking' posts, like there could be no other reason.

ILoveAutum · 13/11/2018 23:29

I think it’s really odd and would really worry me. What’s going through HIS head that he’s thinking his baby seeing him naked is an issue?

Ignoramusgiganticus · 13/11/2018 23:33

My 16 year old ds often wanders in my bedroom when I'm naked. He has gone eeew for the last few years but still doesn't bother to knock.

I think it's healthy for them to see real versions of naked women fat me rather than the air brushed digital versions.

Ignoramusgiganticus · 13/11/2018 23:34

And ditto naked men

seventhgonickname · 13/11/2018 23:34

Dd saw us naked all the time.Exh started to wear boxers when she was toddler after the day she git in bed between us.lifted to duvet off him,gave everything a good long look and then tucked the duvet back over him.She was so serious that we struggled not to laugh.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 13/11/2018 23:35

My baby is only 9 weeks and my husband doesn't want to sleep naked in the same room as her, would be different if she was a boy.

Now that is weird. Can you imagine a mother refusing to breastfeed her baby because it was a boy?

Returnofthesmileybar · 13/11/2018 23:38

Oh ffs sake, it's not odd or weird and it doesn't making him a wanking pervert with something worrying going on in his mind Hmm ffs

My dh is like this, no biggie, he wasn't raised in a naked house, we're not naked people even around each other as a couple (as in just walking around naked for the craic). I'll be naked in front of the kids because I was raised in a house that my parents were naked from time to time. I don't see the big deal.

I never got to see my dad naked and it effected me for life

Peakypolly · 13/11/2018 23:42

My baby is only 9 weeks and my husband doesn't want to sleep naked in the same room as her, would be different if she was a boy.

Now that is weird.
^this

Aridane · 13/11/2018 23:44

His body, his choice

Northernparent68 · 14/11/2018 00:05

Yes it’s his choice, but it’s a bad choice that impacts on his daughter. Teaching her the body is something secretive and something to be ashamed of can be damaging.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/11/2018 00:10

Well I'd love my son not to see me naked because that would mean I could wee or shower alone misses point of thread

No, that is exactly the point of the thread!

How come he thinks he gets to avoid this? Does he imagine you never have to be naked in front of the baby? Is he planning on months or years of paternity leave to ensure you never have to go to the loo with the baby/toddler in the room?

If he has issues relating to trauma, it is very sad but understandable. And if it is that, he might need support to seek some help. If it's anything else, then he is being a selfish parent and a selfish partner, IMO. Babies don't understand naked! They just understand you've shut the door on them.

Aridane · 14/11/2018 00:24

Selfish because he doesn’t want to be naked?

victoriaspongecake · 14/11/2018 00:25

I don't understand this 'thing' that women seem to say that we have to have the baby or child with us when we go to the toilet or shower.??

When my 3 were little many moons ago I put them in a safe place eg cot or middle of room with some toys when older and went to the toilet with the door shut. Ditto for showering.

WorraLiberty · 14/11/2018 00:44

Turning your back and having a quick pee is completely different to standing stark naked in front of someone.

Surely that goes without saying?

TheSandgroper · 14/11/2018 00:48

Dd and dh bathed together for three years. I would get 20 minutes to myself to prepare dinner each day and save my sanity.

GP’s came to stay. DGF went to the toilet. Dd disappeared. The next thing I heard was “my dad has one of those!” So funny.

But as I said to dh when dd started walking and he got precious about going to the toilet, she’s your child and she needs to learn. It only lasted for a bit and she lost interest but she learned what she needed to.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/11/2018 00:49

No, selfish if he's not considering that the OP doesn't necessarily have this choice.

As worra says, it's not like he's standing stark naked in front of the baby! He's just drying off after a shower. If you have a baby, unless you never wash, one or other parent will end up doing this. It's normal.

If the OP's husband has some kind of reason he is deeply uncomfortable with this, I feel really sorry for him and hope he gets the support he needs. But, otherwise, it is more than a bit princessy to expect the OP should be the one to put up with all the partial nudity that is part and parcel of having a very small child.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/11/2018 00:53

victoria, that wouldn't have worked for mine (or most children I know). She'd just have climbed out of the cot or opened the door handle. She doesn't understand it's 'rude' so she has no interest in staying in the cot or with the toys. It's not recommended to lock a baby into a room, so there aren't other good options.

NerrSnerr · 14/11/2018 00:57

I think it's strange. Is he also going to avoid taking her swimming when she's young so he doesn't have to get changed with her?

People would tell the OP she was being ridiculous if she posted that she doesn't want to be naked near her baby.

StoppinBy · 14/11/2018 01:10

My 5 year old still showers with either my husband or myself, she understands girl parts/boy parts and thinks nothing of it.

I would just ask him what his concerns are.

Rachelover40 · 14/11/2018 01:17

I don't know he is so shy in front of her, she's only a baby, a bit young to be expected to respect boundaries.

However, that's how he feels and he can't help it. So do try and keep her away from the bathroom when he is in it but also tell him not to react so loudly if it happens again because she won't understand.

CrookedMe · 14/11/2018 07:54

I think it’s really odd and would really worry me. What’s going through HIS head that he’s thinking his baby seeing him naked is an issue?

Really, fuck off with this shit. Your insinuation that the DH is some a perv or a paedophile because he doesn't want to be naked around people is deeply unpleasant.

Rubberduckies · 14/11/2018 08:06

I'm like this. I wasn't brought up in a naked family and so I feel weird about children sewing my naked. I let my nephew come in the bathroom with me because he's very reluctant to potty train and I didn't want to say no if he was interested!

I'm pregnant and want to breastfeed, but I'm unlikely to wander round starkers or leave the bathroom door open when I use the toilet or shower because that isn't how I was brought up. According to this thread I'm a total weirdo And will damage my child 🤨

CrookedMe · 14/11/2018 08:08

Yep, Rubberduckies you must be wary of being naked around a child in case you suddenly molest them.

Ignore. Some people on this thread are full of their own weird opinions, which they seem to think are facts.

Personally me and my DH are fine being naked around our kids, but my Dad was very discreet with his daughters, and that's completely understandable to me too.