CF tightarsedness

[BorisAndDoris]

Inspired by another thread, I'd love to hear your experiences of CFers being tight arses, never putting their greedy paws in their own pockets.

Mine was an ex when I was a youngster. Maybe 16? 17? I was financially independent (okay, skint on min wage but paid my way) and rented my own place.
CFBF and I were in the early stages of dating (maybe 1 or 2 months in).
I was running errands one day and needed to pick a few things up from the supermarket. He tagged along.

I went round the supermarket and he kept chucking items into the trolley. Fine with me, no point in 2 trolleys.
He put his stuff on the conveyor (sans divider!) whilst I was packing mine. I didn't notice until he said he needed to pop to the loo. He left me to pay for everything.! I was mortified and hadn't grown the lady balls yet to stand up for myself well. I paid and asked him for the money when he got back. He told me he forgot his wallet and would give it to me when he came next time. He didn't.

In fact the next time he showed up I was leaving for the cinema with my best friend. We told CFBF we already had plans. My Best friend was paying because it was his turn and I was skint (thanks to CFBF's shopping which he forgot to bring his money for again!)
I locked up the house and we all walked to the bus together. CFBF got on too as it was also his bus.

We got off in town. CFBF got off with us. Okaaaay...
We got to the cinema. CFBF still with us.
I asked if he was heading home and he said no, I'll come with you! Hmm.. whatever, I couldn't really stop him.

He walked in just ahead of us. The desk clerk had the tickets printed when we got there and best friend paid. It wasn't until we were at the concessions counter he realised he'd paid for three, not two. CFBF has asked for three tickets and not paid his one. It was so awkward that best friend couldn't bring himself to actually say anything.
I stopped answering the door to CFBF after that night and best friend and I have been laughing about him for 20 years now. I should have realised when he only turned up at mine in time for dinner and I'd feed him not wanting to be impolite!!

@IchWill thank you so much for that, I'll definitely do that! Hope you have an amazing time btw xx

I hope you get to come to the gig @RabbityMcRabbit. They are amazing live.

My MIL and I were out one evening, something to do with DD.
FIL didn’t want to come along. Instead he would have a look in some shops, MILs Philip me kept going off, and FIL was getting annoyed.

So I said, we’re going to the chippy for dinner, shall we all go? She says yes, I’ll send FIL, he can put the order in for us....

So she calls him, he’s well chuffed, puts In the order, we arrive with DD and DH.

FIL says, oh here he is, he will pay.... no big deal, he pays, I come over to the table, MIL says, didn’t you pay? Where’s your wallet?

I left it in my car he replies, they can pay.

MIL was dumbfounded, so did you pay for us? He replies, no, why would I? They have money.

This is the usual thing for him. I keep saying to DH it’s intentional. He refused to believe it, until I said to DD, interesting what grandad was saying eh! And she said it was cheeky, we no longer eat out with FIL.

We’ve no issue paying, it’s the sentiment that he carries the belief we just should, all the time.

My (ex) best friend (to be known as CFF for this post...) was in her 2nd year at Uni as a mature student when she was 25. I (23 at the time) was working in a low wage, full time job back in our home town and my BF (now DH) of 5 months had just taken up his first 'proper' job, having recently finished his Masters. We went to visit her for a couple of days at her new shared student flat in her University town, so she could meet my new BF and we could all go on the piss for a couple of days.

I drove down (all 5 hours) and when we arrived, CFF told me that one of her flatmates already had mates staying whilst we were there, so there was nowhere for us to sleep at her place, as had been arranged. We were left with no choice but to book in to a B&B (bearing in mind this was Brighton, so pretty expensive to book anywhere near the town centre). Hey ho, never mind, I was still looking forward to a fabulous weekend!

Once we'd dumped our bags and the car at the B&B, we met CFF at a pub in the city centre. My BF bought the first round for me, CFF and one of her flatmates who she'd brought with her; I was an expensive date (but looking back, was clearly lacking in taste buds) and was drinking double vodka and Red Bull - at £5 a throw (and that was the 2003 price - I dread to think what they'd cost these days!) CFF decided to 'join me' in my expensive selection. I bought the next round and then CFF said she had no cash on her and needed to go to a cash point, which she planned to do when we moved to the next pub shortly. My (incredibly) generous BF paid for the next round (CFF's flatmate then left after finishing off his 3 free pints), then it was my turn again.

After 4 rounds, CFF hadn't bought a single drink, but it was still early in the day, so I figured she'd pay her share later on. We made our way to the next pub and stopped at a cash point for CFF to get some money out - only she did a balance check, then asked the machine to return her card without withdrawing any funds. "All sorted?" I asked her, puzzled. "My cheque hasn't cleared, the money should be available tomorrow though..." Hmmmm.

At the next pub, CFF couldn't offer to pay for any drinks, so my BF (bearing in mind he was meeting his GF's 'best' friend for the first time and wanted to make a good impression) bought 4 rounds for the three of us, then we left to find another bar.

On the way, CFF asked if we could stop at Boots quickly (late night opening). BF and I waited outside and smoked a cigarette each (grim habit - long since quit), and once I'd finished I went inside the store in search of CFF.

I eventually found her at the till and watched, open-mouthed as the cheeky fucker handed over £40 in cash to pay for a £39.99 'Teeth Whitening Treatment'! A bloody teeth whitening treatment!!!

My BF and I had spent around £40 on bloody double vodka and Red Bulls for CFF (plus 3 drinks for her flatmate), since she claimed not to have access to any cash, whilst the whole time, she was planning to spend the £40 cash she had in her pocket all along on shiny teeth!

I couldn't bring myself to mention to her that I'd seen what had happened at the till, so just dashed out of the shop before she'd realised I was there. We still went out that night, my BF paid her club entry and we bought her a couple of drinks each.

We were due to meet for brunch the next day at this place she had been raving about, but she texted me first thing to say "My cheque still hasn't cleared, so I still haven't got any cash - you OK to get brunch today?" No, I was not. I claimed 'illness'. BF and I had a leisurely lie-in, went for a delicious lunch then did some shopping in the Laines. After which, we decided to cut our Brighton trip short and head home that evening to enjoy an unexpected day off at home, just the two of us!

I kick myself now, even 15 years on, as it was CF'ery of the highest order and I continued to tolerate episodes like this from her, time and time again for 5 more years before I finally came to my senses and realised quite how badly I was being taken advantage of!

It still makes me cross when I think about it now. Cheeky Fucker!

My ex (who I never lived with) suggested we go away when we very first started dating. I paid flights, he paid the hotel. I also paid for a holiday for four of us to Greece which I never saw a penny of, paid for flights for his son to come and see us which he never paid me back for, took documents for my car he was borrowing to tax it and - I assume - forged my signature and sold it. Again, which I never saw a penny of and his grand finale was to buy me car for me and our DD. He stopped paying for it and it got repossessed. Even better, was he'd forged my signature to have the finance taken out in my name.
Definitely a CF,.

My FIL was a cheap man. Once we took FIL and MIL to dinner and we paid. He said “let me help you with the tip.” I thought to myself how nice that was, he was finally putting his hand in his pocket and was going to pay for the tip. He took his wallet out, and then handed my husband a tip calculator card so we could figure out how much to leave! My husband and I were just laughing about this today.

My PIL who have never had to foot more than an electricity bill in their lives and whatever else they choose to spend their money on often pop by right before tea time, unannounced. I don't keep a stash of food on hand for these occasions so we end up either having to go to the supermarket or buying takeaway.

They NEVER EVER offer to either buy the extras of the takeaway and as we just don't have the heart to eat in front of them we feel obligated to provide for everyone. On the odd occasion where I have just fed the kids and we have not eaten (we plan to eat after they leave) they will just hang around while the kids eat and then at the kids bedtime I will have to basically chase them out the door.

We are a single income family who pays a mortgage and of course all other bills so it's pretty clear who should open their wallets and let a few moths out on these occasions if you ask me

My downstairs neighbour when I was a poor drama student, was a poor dance student....she used to come up to our flat and eat from pots of food as they were cooking...she'd say "Oh I'll just taste this" and have one taste...then taste again....then chat a bit....then return and taste...and she'd do this until she'd eaten a bloody portion!

I got wise to it and told her "Please stop eating all the curry, it's got to go round 3 of us"

A school mum text asking if she could take my daughter out on a play date with hers to a ball pit. When I asked, "When was she thinking?" . She replied, "today and I'll need £3.50 plus drinks!!!" C.F.!!

I've always been very good at saving money and when I was 16 I had a minimum wage part time job which was my only means of income but as I was a good saver I never ran out of money but most of my friends did. My CF friend texted me one day saying 'are you still rich?' And I said I'm not rich, but why..? She wanted £100 for gig tickets that I wasn't even invited to!

EK Lots of people think that's normal. It's not being a cheeky fucker if you can't afford to pay for someone else's child but would like to do them the favour of taking them out.

@AjasLipstick
Really??! I've always paid for play dates I've invited. Would never ask them to pay even though I'm on a low income. If i invite someone over, I pay for dinner. I didn't need someone taking one of my children out of my hair for a few hours because she's good as gold. If i have to pay the said mum Id rather take her myself and get out of the house!!!

Some of the stories on this thread are unbelievable! The world is full of tight arsed CF.

This CFuckery still riles me even though it's ten years ago. It's money plus family which is always a deadly combination!

Years ago my DM's Aunty (herein called 'GA') was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm which she was told would one day kill her but she could have quite dangerous surgery to fix. She was a strong lady and decided she was too old and that one day dropping dead with no pain was not a terrible way to go so decided to sort out her affairs and carry on with life...

GA had no children and had never married but 3 nieces/nephew. My DM, her DSis and their cousin (herein CFC). When DM and Her DSis DP's passes away years before, GA took charge of house clear as both girls fair too upset so a lot of their DP's personal affects at GA's house

For this (and many other) reasons, GA decided to leave the house to DM and her DSis to do with as they want but leave money and stocks and shares (a very tidy amount) to CFC.

She took DM and her DSis through her will so they were aware of her wishes. They noticed however that she had made CFC executor or something which meant although her wishes were documented, it was in his power to decide not to follow them. They pointed this out to GA as CFC has a history of being a CF. GA was horrified this is what it meant and was aware of CF so contacted her solicitor. Another meeting with solicitor and all parties incl CFC who brushed it off and assured her wishes would be met. GA not happy and told solicitor to draw up a change.

Next day, GA found passed away in her sleep....you know where this is going!

Not long after CFC also diagnosed with cancer. Clearly that was priority and DM rallied around to help him out and didn't push on GA will stuff. CFC had also never married but had a close circle of mates who also pitched in.

6 months went by and DM started to push on will as noticed someone was living in GA house...one of his mates. She asked that until they sorted finances, could she just get in their to go through and find things belonging to her DP. Not valuable but memories.

CFC began to withdraw... then diagnosed as terminal and went NC with my DM (who I should say is the most kindest person you'd ever meet and although she did push on GA will, primarily she cared for the CFC in his illness).

One month later and he's passed away. We all went to the funeral where DM didn't feel it was appropriate to ask about GA house and neither did her DSis so they attended and paid respects.

A year of sending letters to both CFC and GA house and no responses, she hears that he added GA house to HIS will as part of his estate and left it to a mate. DM and DSis begged to just be let in their to retrieve family possessions (photos, a small clock, slides from holidays...nothing of value). And got no response

GA house sold last year for upwards of £500k and my DM and their DSis never did find out what happened to the loft full of family memorabilia...

My DM isn't bitter and said the poor man ended up losing his life to cancer while she is still here and she can't lose money she never had-her main sadness is around the family stuff which contained all her childhood memories.

She's peaceful about it all but I'm still bitter on her behalf!!

@EK36 had you previusly taken her dd out and paid for her?

I would have paid for your dd too.

@JimandPam that's heartbreaking

Your DM is a lovely lady not to be bitter.

@Letsmoveondude I hope you still do things with MIL, she doesn't sound a CF.

@BetsyBigNose

But you clocked on to friend's cheeky ways on the weekend in Brighton! How on earth did you tolerate it for another 5 years?!! Was it on a lesser scale?

I can’t believe some of these stories-there are a lot of cheeky people around!

I think the trick is to not be too embarrassed to call them out on things!!

@Antigon
Yes I have paid for her daughter and son before and had them both over many times. I have overheard a pair of school mums talking about her on the playground. Laughing at being asked for money for a playdate. One of these mums said to the other ,"that she had already paid for her daughter to come on a cinema trip, mcdonnalds and a sleep over with her own daughter!!" I stayed out of it.

@EK36

Sad thing is her dd may get left out play dates and outings because of her mum's behaviour (unless they are very short of money?)

But if I was short of money, I wouldn't accept outings for dc that I couldn't repay.

CF in a group of friends. We've all been to each others houses for drinks or a meal and been to 2 weddings of friends (partners included). CF announces she is getting married but is only inviting guests who are friends of both bride and groom, so we are not invited. Instead she suggests we have a lovely hen do and suggests we use MY foreign time share. Not bloody likely!!! Not seen her since!

@Antigon you're not being thick at all its me it was £460 he dropped it to, I've mistyped in my post thinking about the £40 I took off his £500

Artful, @Allergictoironing has pointed out that ExH should have dropped the amount by only £19!

And actually TheArtfulScreamer's ExH should have dropped the amount into the joint account by only £19 per month, half the direct debit amount, so she was doubly screwed over in that case!

I am at some of these. However, when it's family members who you know are like this (someone spoke about a permanently CF DSis upthread) why do you let them get away with it?! Beyond me!