CF tightarsedness

[BorisAndDoris]

Inspired by another thread, I'd love to hear your experiences of CFers being tight arses, never putting their greedy paws in their own pockets.

Mine was an ex when I was a youngster. Maybe 16? 17? I was financially independent (okay, skint on min wage but paid my way) and rented my own place.
CFBF and I were in the early stages of dating (maybe 1 or 2 months in).
I was running errands one day and needed to pick a few things up from the supermarket. He tagged along.

I went round the supermarket and he kept chucking items into the trolley. Fine with me, no point in 2 trolleys.
He put his stuff on the conveyor (sans divider!) whilst I was packing mine. I didn't notice until he said he needed to pop to the loo. He left me to pay for everything.! I was mortified and hadn't grown the lady balls yet to stand up for myself well. I paid and asked him for the money when he got back. He told me he forgot his wallet and would give it to me when he came next time. He didn't.

In fact the next time he showed up I was leaving for the cinema with my best friend. We told CFBF we already had plans. My Best friend was paying because it was his turn and I was skint (thanks to CFBF's shopping which he forgot to bring his money for again!)
I locked up the house and we all walked to the bus together. CFBF got on too as it was also his bus.

We got off in town. CFBF got off with us. Okaaaay...
We got to the cinema. CFBF still with us.
I asked if he was heading home and he said no, I'll come with you! Hmm.. whatever, I couldn't really stop him.

He walked in just ahead of us. The desk clerk had the tickets printed when we got there and best friend paid. It wasn't until we were at the concessions counter he realised he'd paid for three, not two. CFBF has asked for three tickets and not paid his one. It was so awkward that best friend couldn't bring himself to actually say anything.
I stopped answering the door to CFBF after that night and best friend and I have been laughing about him for 20 years now. I should have realised when he only turned up at mine in time for dinner and I'd feed him not wanting to be impolite!!

Hellohah hands down the worst!!! What happened after that, did you say it to her?

LonelyandTiredandLow cupcakedreamer at your exes. More than just CF. Utter psychopaths

I can't actually read any more of these. I'm feeling quite disturbed by the ghastliness of these CFs. People need to stop feeling manipulated into paying for things for them. They rely on you being embarrassed. Stop feeling embarrassed. You are not the one being a CF.

itsnotme I learnt very early that some men are just oversized grabby kids. Just remembered I even had to buy him a car at auction and I had put the full deposit down on the house. He wouldn't even let me buy new clothes...with my own money! Oh what a prat I was!

Last year DH and I went to my FIL for Christmas. We didn’t expect him to have much in as he is in his late 80s although he does still drive and shop for himself, so I had done a big Ocado shop including the turkey and a few nice bottles of wine etc. But when we arrived there was not a thing in the house, not so much as a mince pie or a chocolate orange. Another big shop. I cooked every meal for 5 days. He never said thank you, or even offered an after dinner drink (which he always did when my MIL was alive) and followed me around switching off the lights and saying “you’re costing me a fortune.” He wasn’t joking. And he is absolutely loaded - no mortgage and according to DH (who knows from being executor) has at least £750k in the bank.

Only on Christmas Eve did I discover that his booze cupboard was stacked with wine that he clearly had no intention of sharing. Sod this, you tight bastard I thought. So on Christmas morning before starting to cook the dinner I said casually, “oh, do you have a bottle to go with the turkey?”

His response: “Oh. So you’re relying on ME for the wine, are you?”

My now ExH when we first moved in together we agreed to pay £500pm each into a joint bank account to cover all bills and household expenses, we then purchased a new sofa from DFS on an interest free deal which was £38 pound a month this was set up from his bank account as he went in alone to sign the paperwork so I told him to drop his joint account DD to £440 to make it fair which he did. When we split up he insisted he was taking the sofas as he'd paid for them, I'm still not sure if he was shit at maths or a CF.

My dad is a serial CF. We just laugh about it now.

One year, he was house and dog sitting while I was on holiday in the states for two weeks, I left a full cupboard and freezer of food and enough dog food to last until past when we got back. I obviously paid his travel costs to mine, bought him a souvenir abroad and duty free by way of thanks for his help.

A few days before we were due to come home, I got a panicked voicemail saying he'd ran out of dog food (ignored my instructions) and had spent the last of his money on dog food and had no money left for his own food. I couldn't understand how this was the case, there was enough food in my house to last him a month. Mortified, as the message was left the day before, I immediately wired him £30 and texted to say I'd call later.

I called him later, he explained he'd forgotten about my instructions about the dog food and yes he did have lots of food in for himself, but as it was a Friday he wanted takeaway, but had no cash after buying the dog food. But "not to worry, I went to the kebab man and told him you were my daughter, explained my predicament and asked if I could have kebab and chips, and that you'd settle up when you got back from holiday", the kebab bloody gave him it too.

I was so embarrassed.

Oh and I came home to two obese dogs!!!

I may have to claim most spectacular CF story.

A couple I know ( distant relatives) were toilet training their toddler.
They had a spare one of those small seats you sit on top of the normal toilet seat , designed for smaller bums.
The wife offered the spare one to her MIL , for when the kid visited.
The MIL said thanks , good idea ; the CF said “ shall we call it a fiver? “

The best part is....the CF and her husband’s are both doctors

Apart from my CF bin stealing neighbors and CF in-laws..... New mum friend at school keeps asking me to do "favours" for her...... We both have four kids two of hers are at secondary school mine all under 8 but somehow she thinks it's easier for me to collect her child when it's raining or run her child over to her car while she stays dry when it's raining or whatever...... A few weeks ago she asked me to collect her dd from school..... I told her I can but my ds is going to after school club so if her dd goes I can collect her then....... CF friend said that's fine she will let the school know....... Went to collect kids and school ask me for the £6.50 payment for CF DD....... CF had told the school I would pay on pick up. I did pay as I didn't want to have bad relations with the school (looking back wtf did I pay!) When I dropped the DD back I said oh it was £6.50 and CF just said thanks for that she owes me!

I had a woman I vaguely knew tell me my 3 wheeler pram was crap and did I want her one. She tried and tried and tried to give it to me, even turning up at my house with it and told me we would call it 100 quid.

I refused, and eventually she sold it to someone else. Turns out it was my sister in laws pram that the woman had borrowed 6 months previously

I've two more of my CF dad stories to share.

Another time he was dog sitting for us (he's dog mad and loves staying in my house.) The night we got back, we got back later than planned as the taxi didn't turn up on time, so we were tired and hungry when we reached home.

The house looked like a bomb had gone off, with bags of rubbish piled on top of the microwave , coffee stains on the side, there wasn't a load of bread or pint of milk in the house and he'd deleted some of my programmes off my Sky Box.

My DP wearily went to the late night Tesco to get the basics, he was obviously dying for a cuppa.

He brought them back along with two chicken and bacon pastry slices for himself (I don't eat then) and had one with his first cuppa since getting back to the UK and put the other in fridge for the morning.

Next morning, I got up early to take my dad to the train station, while he was getting his stuff together I said I was going to walk the dogs and asked him to please make himself some toast while I was out, as he's diabetic and needs to eat regularly.

I come back from walk, couldn't smell toast. Rolled my eyes as I knew it would be because my dad couldn't be arsed to make toast. So I called out to him did he want me to make toast to take in the car.

He appears from the living room and goes, "Ah no, you're okay babe. I ate [DP's] chicken and bacon slice."

DP was fuming when he got up!

Wow-saffy! I hope you haven’t spoken to her since!

CF childcare one....

I volunteered to help on my daughter’s Nursery’s annual trip to the seaside and got talking to another parent of another child her age. I’d never met the child or the parent before. We discovered they were going to be joining the same primary school that September, which was close to my house. Later that week I had had message from her via the Nursery to call her. She asked me if I would help her out from September and take her son to school every morning- she’d drop him to me at 7:30am and I’d take him with me to the school. She actually said “you’ll be going there anyway won’t you”. I reiterated that I worked shifts so often worked a night shift and those nights my daughter stayed at her Nan’s and I’d go there after work and do the school run from there- she replied “well I can drop him there instead on those days”. I was gobsmacked, she was so blunt and cheeky! She wasn’t a friend and didn’t even know me, my job was nothing to do with kids or childcare and yet she wanted to dump her kid on me every morning. I said no it wasn’t possible and she replied a few times with “solutions” and gave me a story about how her and her husband have to work early and childminders are expensive. She also never mentioned paying me or anything, she expected me to do this for free!!!

@MrsJonSnow what does she do for childcare now?! I hope she pays for it!

@Returnofthesmileybear after fuming for a few hours, I then just felt incredibly sad for her DS. He was that kid who said every day through Primary that he wished I was his Mum. I never had anything to do with her, as she never picked up but after that incident I sort of realised the kid actually meant it. Him and DS didn't stay friends after that summer as they went up to High School. I still feel sad for him, the other boy. He's always in trouble now at nearly 14.

Final CF Father story.

He lives in a little flat at the very end of a quiet cul-de-sac in Kent. His garden backs on to a merchant's yard of some kind and it's only open Monday to Friday in office hours.

In the summer this year, they started opening earlier and closing late at night. As this summer was very hot, my dad had all the windows open and this noise either stopped him falling to sleep at night, or woke him early in the morning.

He went round to talk to the foreman politely, where he bored the tits off the poor bloke with his life story, ailments and sleeping patterns. Foreman was lovely and apologised and said they'd won a big contract, it was an urgent job for the local council and they were having to extend their hours to meet the contract. He said he genuinely sorry as he couldn't do anything and the noise would only be for a couple of months.

My dad went home slightly miffed and two days later, going insane from lack of sleep he went back and said to the foremen that he'd had an idea.

My dad had seen a portable air con unit online for £300, if he could afford one, he could close his windows and not hear the noise, but still stay cool.

So he said that the foreman could buy it for him, that way he's off their back, won't need to escalate a noise complaint and my dad gets sleep.

Two days later he was the proud owner of a portable air con unit. Paid for my the merchants business.

I had to admire his CFery on that one TBF.

I had a friend who was very tight. I owed her 5p for something, think we d split something between a group of 4. I thought she was joking when she asked me for it the next time.

We run a youth group in the village and asked if anyone was selling cheaply a microwave and kettle so we could so some basic "cooking" with the younger kids. Someone said her friend was getting rid of some of her late father's stuff and she'd bring both round as a donation. She turned up saying "well I'm donating you the microwave but it'll be £10 for the kettle"!! I paid her as I knew if I didn't it would be village gossip, but when I saw the kettle I wish I hadn't - old, dirty, holes in the mesh at the spout, ugh! CF doing that to a charity.

Brilliant thread, but I honestly don't think anything will ever beat the Mexican House Thief. No doubt most MNers know it, but just in case anyone's not had the pleasure:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1735637-Have-you-ever-encountered-anyone-this-cheeky

(Relevant post was by WeAreEternal at 14:52 on Saturday 20 April 2013)

Being tight and mean is awful. Ditch them asap. I did.

Went on hols to Asia with a friend. She said she had no money to spare but enough to get her through. Fine.

We were in a market and I saw a scarf I really wanted, it was silk and lovely. Friend saw it too at the same time, she nabbed it. I asked if I could have it, but no. That is despite me paying for most things whilst away.

Said friend is no more. I absolutely hate that. But I cannot understand how they can feel ok about being tight as duck's arses either and get away with their manipulation.

We need to check their tightness really.

BTW I do not believe the Mexican house thief story either. But it was a good read.

OMFG! Just remembered a corker.

I have two jobs, work six days a week, but whenever I can, I do stuff for the homeless and my local food bank.

Two years ago, I set up and ran an event giving free haircuts for the homeless, a local salon opened for the day, a local business donated a buffet at the salon and local people donated lovely clothes. I even managed to charm a local vehicle hire firm to let me have a free minibus to collect the homeless folk and ferry them to and from the salon. (I got them publicity on the local radio for their good deed!).

Anyway, it was a totally amazing day and transformations and feedback from the homeless community was wonderful.

My sweet DP spent the day with me (even though volunteering isn't his thing) to keep me company in the bus, for safety as these people were strangers and he got chatting to a middle aged lady who was sleeping rough while holding down a full time job.

Without me knowing he gave her my number, as he knows I'd help anyone however possible and said to text me if she ever needed anything urgent.

The lady texted me to say she needed sanitary products, a common problem for women that sleep rough. No problem, I bought a load and bought some packs of knickers too, then dropped them off to where she was sleeping in town.

We chatted for a bit and I noticed a big bag of dirty clothes, I asked and she said as she was saving every penny from her job for a deposit on a bedsit, she hadn't taken them to launderette.

Understandable, but I couldn't bear the thought of her going into work in smelly clothes, her colleagues didn't know she was homeless and she'd been taking showers at work to keep up the pretence.

So I offered to take it all home, launder it and bring it back. Anyway, this turned into a weekly thing. Fine, I didn't mind, it was nice to help.

One week she texted me and asked to borrow £10. It was a week before I got paid and I had about £50 to my name and needed petrol for work I really didn't have it, plus I'd need to drive to town and back to drop the money to her. I said as much as asked if she could ask anyone else. She said I was her only hope.

So I get in the car, drive to meet her and give her the £10, she swore I'd get it back in two days. So I change the subject and ask if she's keeping warm, she said she was, she'd been sleeping on a good friend's sofa for two weeks and she almost had the money together for a place. Fantastic!

The penny then drops, I ask if her if her good friend had a washing machine. She replied, "Yeah, she has. But I didn't want to take the piss and use it!"

No, but you're happy for a stranger to drive to town wash and dry your clothes and drive them back each week. I just nervously laughed, I was stunned!

I know I offered, but this is CFery!

Oh and I never got the £10 back or heard for her again.

I hope she's well.

I am a door mat so have too many of these to recall them all. But one that sticks in my mind was when I was dating a new man. He came over to mine and I was going to cook dinner. He suggested we go out to eat instead. We get to restaurant and I order a glass of wine but he insists we have a bottle. He asked for starters and main. Anyway as we were eating main he casually drops in "so it's been a really tight month and it's cost me loads of money in train fares coming to see you, soooo you don't mind getting this (waves his hand over the table) do you?".
Fuming!
Oh and another, myself and friend A arranged a day/night out for friend B's birthday in London. All planned and booked wayyyyy in advance. The day of our trip friend A texts me and says "I had to get my hair done so I've not got much money left. Can you lend me some if I run out?". Me not wanting to let friend B down say yes. I only ended up lending £30 but friend A didn't contact me again after that day. I'm still heartbroken that our friendship of years was so easily severed just so she didn't have to pay me back such a small amount.

I do hope he's not your now DP @Grumblepants. 🤣