CF tightarsedness

[BorisAndDoris]

Inspired by another thread, I'd love to hear your experiences of CFers being tight arses, never putting their greedy paws in their own pockets.

Mine was an ex when I was a youngster. Maybe 16? 17? I was financially independent (okay, skint on min wage but paid my way) and rented my own place.
CFBF and I were in the early stages of dating (maybe 1 or 2 months in).
I was running errands one day and needed to pick a few things up from the supermarket. He tagged along.

I went round the supermarket and he kept chucking items into the trolley. Fine with me, no point in 2 trolleys.
He put his stuff on the conveyor (sans divider!) whilst I was packing mine. I didn't notice until he said he needed to pop to the loo. He left me to pay for everything.! I was mortified and hadn't grown the lady balls yet to stand up for myself well. I paid and asked him for the money when he got back. He told me he forgot his wallet and would give it to me when he came next time. He didn't.

In fact the next time he showed up I was leaving for the cinema with my best friend. We told CFBF we already had plans. My Best friend was paying because it was his turn and I was skint (thanks to CFBF's shopping which he forgot to bring his money for again!)
I locked up the house and we all walked to the bus together. CFBF got on too as it was also his bus.

We got off in town. CFBF got off with us. Okaaaay...
We got to the cinema. CFBF still with us.
I asked if he was heading home and he said no, I'll come with you! Hmm.. whatever, I couldn't really stop him.

He walked in just ahead of us. The desk clerk had the tickets printed when we got there and best friend paid. It wasn't until we were at the concessions counter he realised he'd paid for three, not two. CFBF has asked for three tickets and not paid his one. It was so awkward that best friend couldn't bring himself to actually say anything.
I stopped answering the door to CFBF after that night and best friend and I have been laughing about him for 20 years now. I should have realised when he only turned up at mine in time for dinner and I'd feed him not wanting to be impolite!!

I’ve had a few cf mates.

When I was in my late teens I used to go out with a girl who was married. At the time I was living on my own in a crummy bedsit.

I always ended up getting the first drink as well as the last and the taxi home. Every time. To boot she would leave me on a street corner whilst she was manking up an alley with some random bloke. One night I was cold and tired and went home on my own. Early hours her DH came round looking for her. Whilst he was at mine she’d arrived home. I don’t know how she explained that away but she had the cfery nerve to shout at me. Hasten to add I never went out with her again !!

Obviously I didn't poop in her room

Another one. This time it was dsis. She’d been crying poverty and that she had no money for food for her kids. Tipped my purse up and the following day I also took some groceries round. I was genuinely worried. I asked what did she rustle up the night before with the money I’d left. SHE WENT OUT DRINKING. She said she was stressed and needed to let her hair down.

Same sis. She had no money (as usual). I took her out to the local club for a drink and bingo. She won the bingo, didn’t split it or get me a drink.

Actually I’ve been a total walk over in my day. I’m not anymore.

Years ago I helped a (usually lovely) friend out by driving her for over an hour and back to see her dying mother, over the course of a few weeks, which of course I did with no griping or expectation.

Sometime later she asked for help clearing her mother’s house and asked if there was anything of hers I could use. I picked out a few bits, all needed a good clean and were very much well used, so more out of politeness than anything I said I’d take a couple of things, let’s say it was a rusty old bike and a grubby vase, the sort of thing that could be used after a good scrub and service.

On the way home she said, shall we say £50 for those bits?

I just said not to worry about it, I wouldn’t have them. I left it at that as she was obviously grieving etc, but god it stings. She inherited in the hundreds of thousands as well. Our friendship never really recovered.

My MIL is as tight as a gnats arse and mean with love too.

She paid for the cheapest platter of sandwiches possible for her late H's funeral wake. Until the church people informed her (very carefully no doubt) that this was not the done thing she had originally decided to give the attendees (the few that there were) a cup of tea and a biscuit; her reasoning being they had not come far so would not be hungry.

I love how the life lesson you are most likely to learn in your 20s is "be more direct" it is CF-kryptonite.

My step sister's mum - a MILLIONAIRE (probably why she's minted, because she's SO TIGHT). Every Christmas, every birthday, she would do stuff like; re-wrap books she'd already read to give to them. Re-wrap cooking books to give to them - then ask for them back because "she needed to check a recipe" (they'd never see the books again). Buy the most random thing possible that was conveniently on mega discount offer at local supermarket (once it was a packet of vitamin C tablets, I kid you not). Once bought daughter a bottle of blonde hair conditioner (she's brunette). She's never once ever actually gone out on a limb and bought something they've asked for, like a particular pair of earrings SS liked (they were only £14.99).

My friend, let’s call her Emily, has a friend she frequently goes on holiday with. Friend expects Emily to pay for flights and hotels on her credit card, but refuses to get a credit card herself because she doesn’t want one - Emily could afford her own flights and hotel costs without credit card but needs it to pay for both of them. Friend always takes forever to pay Emily back for holidays, claiming lack of money (they typically agree that she’ll pay Emily £100 a month) but has some fancy treatment done on her hair every 6 weeks for £250, and last time missed two monthly payments to Emily but sent her a pic of the new expensive handbag she’d just bought. Emily has just paid for another holiday even though friend hasn’t finished paying her back for the last one. I honestly don’t know why Emily puts up with even half of this!

I used to sing in a church choir who had done their bit for the first four days of Holy Week, so by Maundy Thursday evening, we were well set up for a bit of light relief after all that choral piety! One of the choir tracked down a local Italian restaurant doing a "meal deal" - buy four meals, fifth will be a pound, i.e. a big group can share a nice saving.
As we were rounding off the meal, one of the choir's more casual members trotted up to the organiser, said, "That's all I can afford!", handed over one solitary pound coin, and skipped off before we could protest......funnily enough, she didn't turn up to sing on Good Friday, either. Or Easter.

I had to ditch a CF friend. It got to the stage where she would say' Oh can you pick some bacon up for lunch, I haven't got much in...'
So we would have a bacon sandwich and she would take the leftover bacon and clingwrap it. Ok, fine what's a bit of bacon between friends, I used to think... aaah Bless she has a baby now, she can't get to the shops....
Next it would be ' Have you any batteries for baby's toy?'. Oh okay...it's for baby so ok. Once she owed me a pound and when I said look can I have the pound back on this occasion, she threw it at me and it hit me in the neck leaving a red mark... 'Oh sorry, I didn't mean to throw it!'. So I forgave her.
Then it's my birthday; I wait 30 minutes in Costa. I get fed up and but a coffee, drink it and wait. She turns up with her sour MIL who clearly hates me because I tend to side with my friend when her twat husband is being, well... a twat.
So they don't buy me a coffee or a cake. Don't even offer.
I have bought her about 100 coffees by now over the years, made her lunches, bought sarnies etc.
Feel sorry because she is always hard up. She says.I'm hard up too btw. Just not a calculating mean arsed cow.
So comes a visit... again she asks me to bring the fecking bloody bacon. Open the fridge and espy man things; expensive big cakes and dinners.
I say nothing, later she texts me suddenly realising she's been seen for what she is; ' Oh so sorry, meant to cut the cake in the fridge. DP just told me off.'. Yeah, right.

Not me but my mum; years ago she had neighbours she was good friends with who won a substantial, as in truly life-changing, amount on the lottery. Sure enough they were soon giving up work, buying brand new cars and moving to a bigger, better home in a much posher area. A few days before they moved out the wife came around to see my mum and said since the new curtains she'd had made for her living and dining rooms a few months prior to their win wouldn't fit any of the windows in her new house and the buyers of her house didn't want them, would my mum like them? My mum very much admired/envied these curtains so very gratefully said she would love to have them. Neighbour brought them round on moving day and said "Shall we say 150 quid? I didn't want to charge you the full amount of what we paid because they're not quite new."

I have many CF tales to tell as I love these threads. But they make my blood boil so much too!

Mobile hairdresser turned up to do my hair and started going on about how she was working all day and hadn't had time for dinner so my husband said he would nip into the Chinese for her as he was popping out anyway - she gave a list as long as her arm and when he got back she delayed cutting my hair until she had finished the entire thing. This took her about 45 minutes and I just sat there awkwardly with my freshly dyed wet hair waiting on my haircut

Had a friend who tended to be "careful" with money. Another friend's DP played in a band and we would travel up to around 60 miles each way for a gig, always me driving. I was never offered petrol money, and it was always me buying the first round because that was the one alcoholic (i.e. expensive) drink I would have all evening.

Same friend came to stay a couple of times after she'd moved away from the area, using my house as a base and visiting various other people. At that time I was out of work and incredibly broke, she still expected me to cook for her from whatever food I already had in the house - the one time I stayed with her I bought takeaway for us all.

Another friend was a bit short on money all the time, then her CF "DP" spent all the money she'd given him to get her car taxed and MOTd , so I paid for the tax on line then & there, and drove over to her place with the cash for the MOT and a few repairs it needed to pass (about £300 in total). I wasn't working at the time, made it clear to her that I would need the money back soon-ish. 6 months later still no money, I'm living off jacket potatoes & beans on toast, when she tells a mutual mate that her dog has just had a litter & that she's spending ALL the profits on new show gear for the dogs - mutual mate had to remind her that updating her show gear should really come after she paid back her debt to someone who was desperate for money.

BTW she has bought a nice house now. I'm in rented. See what I mean?

I should also add that she didn't offer to give any money for it at all so I was dreading having to pay her as I knew I would have to mention it. Just as she was finished I awkwardly asked how much I owed her and she replied '£60' which was the full price! So I plucked up the courage and said 'will I just minus off the £15 for the dinner?' And she actually looked annoyed and said 'Fine' then gathered up her stuff and left- clearly pissed off that I had made her pay for it. Never asked her back

One of my friends (now ex friend) always used to fail to get cash out of the cash machine before a night out, the pub we start in is a fair walk from the cash points so I always said I would get the first couple before we moved on. 9 times out of 10 she was too pissed to remember her pin number apparently. I would also always pay for the taxi on the way home too after my money dried up she would literally leech drinks of any bloke who looked her way in the pubs, it was so embarrassing.

What made me see her for what she really was in the end was me buying expensive tickets for an event that she asked to go to, when I told her I got tickets she said she couldn't afford it, so I said she could pay in instalments, she made no attempt whatsoever to pay me, but then told everyone that she had organised transport, even though my plan was to stay over. I sold her ticket a month before the event and she went absolutely off her head at me.

Couldn't believe the cheek of her. We never spoke again.

Few years back, I took DS and a couple of his friends to Haven. I paid for everything, took no money off the other parents.
A few weeks later, DS had been out with his friends, came running in, asking if he could go swimming with his friend and his Mum. Yeah ... No problem, pack up his stuff. 5 minutes later, his friend (the same friend who just had 5 days at Haven, totally paid for by me), messaged to say that DS couldn't go because his Mum wouldn't pay for him. One pound fucking 50 the swimming baths is, and she wouldn't pay!

I used to have a mate I met at work as a seventeen year old that had form for being a CF..she would agree to go somewhere then hours before say she couldn't afford it so I ended up paying.

Anyway the first time she came to my house (after I had moved south) we were mid twenties. It was a surprise visit and I had already planned a day out shopping at an oulet as I needed a new suitcase. She said she would tag along but proceeded to criticise everythign I looked at.

Fed up we went for a coffee where she pulled the old....I've not bought my purse (I mean who asks to go to an oultlet and leaves their purse at home ?)

So I ended up paying for coffee and an ice cream sundae type thing. After she had finished rather than 'Thank You' she said...."You know if you were on our money, you couldn't afford stuff like this"

Cheeky ungrateful mare

Not 100% sure what a CF is, but the posts so far have really reminded me of an ex of mine.
I was 19, he was 28, I was earning more than him but he drove. We rented somewhere first and after a year he suggested we got a mortgage because "it was cheaper than rent" - which where we lived was true...if we moved to a far shittier area out of town. After some consideration I agreed - being on the housing ladder at that age seemed very responsible and my job was going well etc. What I hadn't reckoned with was that my job now meant I was relying on him to drop off/pick me up, or a train that took over an hour and a half for a 20min car journey. As I was cooking all of the meals/doing all of the washing/cleaning (naive 19 yr old that I was) he agreed to "put himself out" so that I could get everything on the table by 6pm as he would be far too hungry otherwise . After about 1 month he started to ask me for petrol, despite me paying more on the mortgage because his dad had lied for him and added 4k onto his salary. At the time it was sold to me that he was putting himself out for me, not that it was his choice to move to a crappy area away from my work, which we were relying on to keep the house! I allowed this to happen all the time - going to visit HIS friends up north...yet I had to pay half for petrol every time.
It only came to an end when I finally realised he had lied about what time he returned home (it was snowing and he had left me in the snow every day of the week waiting for him after work). Turned out he finished work over an hour earlier than he had told me and had spent the "extra time" on the computer buying specialist porn dvd's and subscriptions to said porn. Appx £200pm since we had known each other - nearly 4 years by then
Needless to say as soon as the scales were lifted from my eyes I realised how manipulated and financially used I had been. One of those where you feel sad for his now wife!

I've posted so many of these on various similar threads, but here's another

For 8 years I organised a major summer charity event in my city and when I retired the Round Table asked to do it - it was a big moneyspinner so they were quite keen to take it on

To help, I arranged to meet them in a local pub and handed over absolutely everything I'd built up over the years to make the day a success. I did it gladly, but wondered if I'd been wise when they all sat there behind their pints and nobody even offered me a drink

Untypically for me, I eventually embarrassed them by asking for one ...

Wow this thread makes my blood boil.

I have two that I'll always remember.

1. I was in a tiny convenience story and the lady in front of me was 20p short, so I thought I could do something nice and handed the cashier £1. Then what did she bloody do???? She tried to take the change, she even told me "hey, you're taking my change" 🤦‍♀️

1. My bloody ex bf. He earned min wage whilst I was way above average. So I paid for plane tickets, food, clothes, etc.

Had an ex who beyond took the piss, though took me a long time to see it.

I lived in uni halls for a while, then decided to drop out and find my own place. We'd only been together on/off for six months so I assumed he'd stay behind at uni. Since it was the holidays when I moved, he helped me move into my flat. Next thing I know, he's dropped out too and come to live with me, as "he missed me".
Queue a year and a half of me paying for everything, including all his food and our JOINT bills. For christmas he asked me to get him a PS4, so because he made it seem like such a good idea, I got him one. He never worked, lived off what I earnt and played it all day. One week I gave him half the food money for the month (I'm vegetarian and he found my food "sickening") that he spent in 2 DAYS, then when he asked me for more I said I couldn't give it to him. He then started packing up my stuff to sell at CashConverters, (despite him doing this so often before I barely had anything left to sell) and when I told him it was his PS4 or he starves, he took it and went to stay with his mum. It took me ages to finally get him off my own back and clear the money troubles he left me with.
It's been 2 years since, and I still get chased for some of his debts (but have had nc with him in those two years and tell companies that) so clearly he's not doing much better, and I've not had to ever sell any of my things since.

A few years ago I scrimped and saved to go on a holiday to America with a friend. I was earning minimum wage so I was selling things on eBay, doing surveys and all that sort of thing as well as overtime.

Friend asked if it was okay to invite her relative, B, for a week.

GREAT I thought. That’s the villa cost shared a bit more for that week.

Nope.

So we drove to the airport, paid parking and drove back twice (pick up and drop off). We spent the whole week doing the same things my friend and I had done the week before, except with B. Actually visiting the exact same shops etc.

B didn’t bring any money or any way to pay her own way. Bear in mind I hadn’t actually met B. My friend footed all of the costs and I still don’t know if she was paid back for meals, shopping, etc.

Then to top it all off, B didn’t contribute to the holiday. Neither financially nor cooking is a meal in the villa or anything.

To make matters worse B is a very well paid doctor.

It still annoys me to this day. I am VERY thrifty, and I’m probably guilty of a few things on this list (I hate buying rounds for example) but this was awful.

I had an ex who came to the city where I was a student for a work thing. His work paid for a hotel but, by staying on my floor, he pocketed the lot. He said he would take me out for dinner to say thanks but “forgot his wallet” when the bill arrived so I paid. He then openly laughed about the fact that he had got me to pay even though I was on about £20 a week at that point. I asked him to repay me his half of the billl (he had said he would treat me but I was absolutely firm about paying my half) but he continued to laugh. It took my brother (in the same line of work and mates with his boss) and my letter to his mother to get the fucker to cough up. His mother sent me a bottle of wine as an apology - very nice of her but frankly it was her arse-wipe of a son who owed me an apology!