CF tightarsedness

[BorisAndDoris]

Inspired by another thread, I'd love to hear your experiences of CFers being tight arses, never putting their greedy paws in their own pockets.

Mine was an ex when I was a youngster. Maybe 16? 17? I was financially independent (okay, skint on min wage but paid my way) and rented my own place.
CFBF and I were in the early stages of dating (maybe 1 or 2 months in).
I was running errands one day and needed to pick a few things up from the supermarket. He tagged along.

I went round the supermarket and he kept chucking items into the trolley. Fine with me, no point in 2 trolleys.
He put his stuff on the conveyor (sans divider!) whilst I was packing mine. I didn't notice until he said he needed to pop to the loo. He left me to pay for everything.! I was mortified and hadn't grown the lady balls yet to stand up for myself well. I paid and asked him for the money when he got back. He told me he forgot his wallet and would give it to me when he came next time. He didn't.

In fact the next time he showed up I was leaving for the cinema with my best friend. We told CFBF we already had plans. My Best friend was paying because it was his turn and I was skint (thanks to CFBF's shopping which he forgot to bring his money for again!)
I locked up the house and we all walked to the bus together. CFBF got on too as it was also his bus.

We got off in town. CFBF got off with us. Okaaaay...
We got to the cinema. CFBF still with us.
I asked if he was heading home and he said no, I'll come with you! Hmm.. whatever, I couldn't really stop him.

He walked in just ahead of us. The desk clerk had the tickets printed when we got there and best friend paid. It wasn't until we were at the concessions counter he realised he'd paid for three, not two. CFBF has asked for three tickets and not paid his one. It was so awkward that best friend couldn't bring himself to actually say anything.
I stopped answering the door to CFBF after that night and best friend and I have been laughing about him for 20 years now. I should have realised when he only turned up at mine in time for dinner and I'd feed him not wanting to be impolite!!

I'm not sure how this "forgot my wallet" thing works these days

I've never done it personally (complete muppet with tech ) but isn't it possible to pay for things using a phone now?

...get affronted when you ask them to repay money loaned to them
...borrow things from you then lend the things on to others, and you never get them back
...never put in any money for a tip
...ask personal questions about your finances/savings so they can assess whether they can tap you up for money

Puzzled Yes but not everyone does that. I certainly don't. Not that I "lose my wallet" to avoid paying my share!

Went to BP once to get a newspaper, there was a young lad in there, pleading with the staff.

He'd run out of petrol on the way to work and had left his wallet at home. He had a jerry can and was asking if he could leave his smart phone as collateral for the can of petrol until he returned after work, the staff were unsure and really caught on the hop.

So I said to the man serving me that I would just pay it. The man called the lad over and said, "This kind lady has offered to pay for your fuel. Minimum fuel delivery is £3, so don't take advantage."

The lad goes, "Oh ta, I'm gonna need to put £6 in though, that cool yeah?"

I just nodded dumbfounded and paid!

IchWill how was he a CF if you’d offered to pay? Maybe the £6 was what he actually needed to get to work and back home to his wallet - wasn’t like he tapped you for £50 or even £10! Very kind of you though :)

We know friends of friends of friends who when dining out ask up front about how the bill is being sorted. If it's pay your own they will share a course each. If it's split the bill they go all out and have bottles of wine, all three courses each etc. It's so blatant CF. No shame.

Last year a dm suggested she be the one to collect for the end of primary school celebrations!
Less than 10 in the year, lots of ideas thrown around. Settled on pizza hut and bowling.
She insisted the cash be all in months ahead as it required lots of organising (). Dutifully handed over the £40 - in 2 instalments, tho she was banging on my car window for the second payment...
Roll on to the week of the last week of term, she isn't back from her holiday yet and nobody seems to know the exact arrangements....
The Monday she isn't available, the Wednesday it turns out NOTHING IS BOOKED YET!!
She books it Wednesday after school - for the actual last day of TERM - Friday .
It was suggested by the vine of dm's that she used our cash FOR HER HOLIDAY!!

The PTA Treasurer at my Ex's school did similar, Santa. She was only found out when the equipment the funds were raised for was about to be ordered, and like idiots the school hushed it up and even kept her on the PTA

Come the next fundraising boot sale and guess who they sent round to collect the stall fees?!! She got pretty miffed when I said thanks but I'll give the cash to the Chair instead ...

.

My BIL is also a CF. He always ‘borrowed’ money, claims poverty all the time. Very ungenerous with presents (expects a lot in return). Just going to their house always costs us money (we are expected to pay for takeaways)

Anyway the irony is HIS BIL is also a CF. He earns more than BIL but regularly ‘forgets his wallet’ etc.
It does cheer me and DH up.

My BiL came over the other day spitting feathers because my Sister (he's her husband!) thought it would be ok to ask him about a suggestion from her friends:

Her friends have two children who are getting to that age of learning to drive. They thought that it would be a great idea if he let them use HIS car, instead of their own car, to take THEIR children out to learn to drive (ie in his car).

Funnily enough BiL didn't think this was an acceptable suggestion, but my Sis still thinks his reaction was unreasonable!

These are also the people who apparently think it's perfectly acceptable not to pay for their children's school outings because 'school' should pay and that's what they pay their taxes for.

My Sis is still friends with them. BiL is wary!

What was their reason for letting their teens drive your BIL’s car?!

I’ve unfortunately got a few. But the one that sticks is one particular CF. I gave said “friend” two huge bags of really nice clothes for her DS, (I may add she had asked) - I mean they were seriously nice - included a gorgeous barely worn coat as well. I didn’t ask nor want any money. They then offered me their “spare buggy” as it was in “good condition” & light weight. I didn’t really need it, but didn’t want to offend (I thought they were trying to return the favour). Next thing I know they are at the doorstep with a battered buggy, it had a seriously bent hood & definitely had seen better days - I smiled and said thank you, then I got the “ let’s call it a tenner for it!!!!” I bloody well paid them as well, just didn’t know what to say!!! I never passed them any clothes again though. That £10 cost them £100s.

Same CF asked me look after their DS for a day whilst they went to a family event, I agreed. The DS was a nightmare, and they turned up 3 hours late pissed & couldn’t see what the problem. This is the same CF who charged me childminder rates to look after my DCs, and added a £15 penalty for being 5 minutes late.

Not surprisingly they are an ex friend and we haven’t spoken in a decade. Of course I was the one who was the one in the wrong 😱, I cost them money by refusing to let them look after my DSs! Far too many stories about that one!

A parent at my children's dance school will only pay for lessons 'pro rata' if she is 10 minutes late to the lesson she will take the pennies off how much she will pay.

I’d be firing her child from the class, if I were that dance teacher!

@Holidayshopping, I think it was simply so that they didn't have to sort their car out for their children to drive. No thought about DBil's insurance, miles on his car, fuel etc etc. They thought it was an extremely good idea!

*I'm not sure how this "forgot my wallet" thing works these days

I've never done it personally (complete muppet with tech blush) but isn't it possible to pay for things using a phone now?*

It never worked with me because until recently I literally couldn't afford to sub someone, I just didn't have the spare money in my account. 'I forgot my wallet,' would be met with, 'I don't the money to cover you. You'll have to work something out,' or 'That's a pity, well, we'll have to call it a day and maybe meet some other time.'

Plus, it's the biggest con in the world.

It will be good to get this off my chest. First proper boyfriend - I should have known when our first date was a meal at his which consisted in us sharing an M&S meal for one! I had low self esteem and he took me for a right mug. Whilst we were going out and I was paying for everything he was amassing thousands in the bank. It was often quite subtle - I know the disappearing to the loo when the bill arrives trick only too well. He often came to my home and had meals but I remember after spending a weekend with his parents he kept on and on about how lucky I was to have had a free weekend WTF. After meeting his parents - his mum in particular I could see where his meanness came from. He always told me how lucky I was because he was great in bed - once I had something to compare him to I realised that that was utter rubbish! I can see now that he was a complete using bastard I like to think that if mumsnet had existed then I would have been told to LTB.

My ex was a CF. one day he drove us - him, me + 2 dc 8y &4y - to the new Toys-R-Us in the next town - and he said the girls could choose what they liked- we took a trolley round & let them choose a couple of nice toys each. But as we were waiting in the queue to pay I discovered he didn't bring any cash- It was the end of the month and he knew I'd just been paid. Better ending than some above - I sent him home to get "his" money (a 40 minute round trip), while the dcs and I waited instore with the trolley.

Bravo, wobbly! CFers only get away with it because people are too wet to front them. I mean, that first date and he 'forgot his wallet', he seriously thought i was going to pay for him. Haahaaa.

I have told this story here before but i just remembered it and feel taken advantage of all over again!

8yrs ago I was pregnant with DC'3 and DS's playmate from around the corner came for the afternoon. He was to be collected at 4pm as it was December and dark. His Dbro appeared and said mum and dad were doing some shopping and running late, he would miss his air cadets if we didn't mind could we hold onto him for an hr as they were on their way... sure.

At quarter past midnight they drunkenly rang our doorbell! Pissed as newts and there to collect the son. DH said he was asleep and they could collect him in the morning when sober! They muttered excuses but all bollocks. I felt so sorry for the poor boy 

I paid a vet bill for someone once. She was in tears saying she could not afford to pay as pay day was the next day. The vets were stonyfaced. I rang my DH and asked if we could pay the £60 odd pounds. he said yes so i paid it. Vets again stonyfaced. She made a big song and dance about getting my address and contact details as she would pay me back.

Nothing. And when she had gone the vet receptionist took me aside and said quietly that she had pulled that one before.

@GirlFliesHome if only the vet had told you before you paid .

I have another one... I posted on the class/school Facebook group asking if anyone could collect my ds from school for a few weeks and drop him back at home straight after school while I recovered from an operation and couldn't drive. In the post I said that I was willing to pay a reasonable amount as he would be dropped straight back home after school. A mum who lived near me and I sort of knew (not that well) she walked past my house on the school run and lived about 2 mins walk away from my house said she could help me out. Great I thought, I was looking to pay £10ish a week I guess..... But no she wanted £10 a day, yes £10 a day to collect my ds and walk him back to mine, even though she had to walk past my house to get home and collect her dd anyway from the same.school! DH was absolutely mortified when I told him and pointed out it cost £4.50 for the school after-school club and that he could collect ds from that after work! Still not sure why she thought I would pay her £50 a week to walk my.son home. I did also double check I had understood her correctly too

This is a karma one to a horrendous CF.

This CF had scammed people for years. No wallet, taking loans and not paying back. She was a master of guilt trips, had everyone running around after her as she was a single parent, including ex MIL doing all her laundry and ironing, doing and paying for most shopping, plus she had the local ASC faking her childcare claim so she claimed every extra penny. She also had her ex looking after the kids every weekend from Friday lunch to Monday school drop off and in-laws had them twice in the week so she never saw them. She was appalling.

So, the karma was that at a weekend away to this rented house, the host (a friend of a friend) was briefed on her and made sure he got her rental contribution up front plus contribution to all the food and alcohol etc. Cost about £200. He then announced on parting that he was gifting the weekend to us all as a present (he was seriously loaded) as our company was payment enough. She nearly exploded!