CF tightarsedness

[BorisAndDoris]

Inspired by another thread, I'd love to hear your experiences of CFers being tight arses, never putting their greedy paws in their own pockets.

Mine was an ex when I was a youngster. Maybe 16? 17? I was financially independent (okay, skint on min wage but paid my way) and rented my own place.
CFBF and I were in the early stages of dating (maybe 1 or 2 months in).
I was running errands one day and needed to pick a few things up from the supermarket. He tagged along.

I went round the supermarket and he kept chucking items into the trolley. Fine with me, no point in 2 trolleys.
He put his stuff on the conveyor (sans divider!) whilst I was packing mine. I didn't notice until he said he needed to pop to the loo. He left me to pay for everything.! I was mortified and hadn't grown the lady balls yet to stand up for myself well. I paid and asked him for the money when he got back. He told me he forgot his wallet and would give it to me when he came next time. He didn't.

In fact the next time he showed up I was leaving for the cinema with my best friend. We told CFBF we already had plans. My Best friend was paying because it was his turn and I was skint (thanks to CFBF's shopping which he forgot to bring his money for again!)
I locked up the house and we all walked to the bus together. CFBF got on too as it was also his bus.

We got off in town. CFBF got off with us. Okaaaay...
We got to the cinema. CFBF still with us.
I asked if he was heading home and he said no, I'll come with you! Hmm.. whatever, I couldn't really stop him.

He walked in just ahead of us. The desk clerk had the tickets printed when we got there and best friend paid. It wasn't until we were at the concessions counter he realised he'd paid for three, not two. CFBF has asked for three tickets and not paid his one. It was so awkward that best friend couldn't bring himself to actually say anything.
I stopped answering the door to CFBF after that night and best friend and I have been laughing about him for 20 years now. I should have realised when he only turned up at mine in time for dinner and I'd feed him not wanting to be impolite!!

Ex MIL invited me to go on holiday with them not long after I met ex.

We were no more than kids (15 and 17) I knew she was a single mum and hadn't much money so whenever we went for lunch at the pub (every day we were away) I knew that I would be having a cheese sandwich as it was the cheapest thing possible (not a huge cheese lover but hey) After living on cheese sandwiches for lunch every single day of the week's holiday I would have been happy to never see a cheese sandwich again. My bf always got ham (this was the mid 1970s when pub lunches basically were just grim sarnies of either cheese or ham and nothing much else) because he was a boy.

On arriving home I was filled with fury when my mum informed me that she had given future MIL £30 for my food while we were away!

We were away one week, in a caravan so no extra cost to her for accommodation, and the price of the pub sandwiches was 90p for a cheese sandwich and £1.05 for a ham one! Evening meals were cooked, and I use that term loosely, in the caravan. (Usually luncheon meat and tinned, "processed" peas with more than half the plate covered in mashed potato for us children while she had chicken or naice ham with fresh garden peas and very little mash on her plate!)

She must have pocketed about half of what my mum had given her!

My now hubby invited me to his place for tea as our 'first date' so I agreed, drove the 20 minutes in to town to his place to find that he hadn't cooked anything...…. he was taking me out instead.

Ok, no probs.

We get in the car and he drives me to SUBWAY.... SUBWAY!! Ok so bad enough already but then he goes to the counter and orders, I order mine...…. he then hands over a coupon for the discounted meal price and pays for HIS OWN!! Then says to the lady 'oh, she can use it to' while pointing at me, I couldn't believe it, hahah, such a tightwad!!

Lucky he has been broken somewhat of his tightwad ways by now lol.

Wow, this seems minor looking at the amounts others get scammed out of but a friend came shopping with me and we got quite a few deals, two for one, three for two etc. When I was unloading the shopping she split these but refused to pay me the half or whatever, 'they were free'! Another friend asked her if she would like to go blackberrying and she declined, too scratchy but when she saw that our friend had arrived home with the fruit she went round to get some and was very annoyed when the friend refused, she was mean apparently because they were free.

I just recalled a friend's CF.

She went on a short date with a man off POF, he asked her out, so they had a drink, but they mutually decided they weren't right for each other. No problem.

A few weeks later, he texted out of the blue and said he had no plans for the weekend, did she fancy a "non-date", after all, they got on, surely better than being stuck indoors alone etc.

She saw no harm and agreed. He footed the bill, my friend said thank you. Thinking she could pick up the bill next time if they hung out again as friends.

Anyway, two nights later he asked her out for the next night. My friend works long hours, has hobbies and probably only two nights a week free, she was also still actively looking for a BF (which he knew) and wanted to keep her evenings free. Also she'd not seen her close friends for ages and he wasn't a close friend by any stretch.

Soooo, he went batshit at this news and a day later sent her an invoice for her half of the "non-date", something like £34.40. Asked for it to be sent by PayPal.

She was so shocked and didn't want to "owe" him fuck all, so sent the PayPal payment immediately and blocked / ignored him after that.

Fast forward a week later, a profile was created with her ex BF's photo on POF, with her street name and house number as the profile user name. The hobbies listed were my friend's exact hobbies and she got a ton of messages from it, 50-60 odd just saying "Look over your shoulder!" repeated over and over.

She turned up on my doorstep shaken asking to stay at mine as she knew non-date knew her address and was behind that profile. We called the police and they gave him a warning a couple of days later. He stayed away after that.

Turned out that he tracked her down from her PayPal email address as it had her surname in it.

A scary CF eh??

A few years ago I became friends with someone I briefly shared a flat with, right before buying my own property. She was young, well spoken, very well educated and attractive. She’s finished her masters and got a graduate job at a reputable company. I’m foreign and quite shy and at the time I was very stressed with work and buying my property and financially stretched. She was insisting on meeting up and going out for walks, clubs etc. Soon after however she started asking to borrow things: shoes, jewellery, clothes, hand bags, coats, DVDs etc. Whilst we were out, she would ask for spare change to buy things. When I told her I don’t have any ‘spare change’ she’d take her card out and pay.
I felt something wasn’t quite right, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt, as I thought we got on quite well. I got my flat eventually and moved out, however I was skint: large mortgage, a large balance on my credit card and nothing in my flat, had to sleep on the floor for the first month until my bed was ready. She started texting me, insisting on coming over to see my flat and if she can have tea at mine. She came over and we sat on the floor, having a cup of tea. She was very disappointed, and at the end of the evening she said that when she said tea, she meant dinner. I had to tell her (even though it was pretty obvious) that I had no cutlery or plates or pans for a while and I cannot make any dinner just yet. This carried on for quite a few months, with her always asking for things, sometimes bluntly sometimes in a very manipulative way; my situation got better but I eventually got the courage to tell her off, when she asked me desperately whilst I was preparing for a trip abroad if she could borrow a little lock for her luggage as she was going for a trip herself. I told her a little lock can’t be that expensive and she could buy one for herself as she may need it more that once. I came back from my trip, blocked her number and never talked to her again.

We moved and found ourselves close to old friends for the first time in years. They invited us over for a barbecue. I asked what we could bring and was told to bring some snacks along. I bought salsa, a couple of tubs of hummus and that avocado dip (can’t remember the name) and 5/6 different things to dip.

When we got there the snacks were set on top of the fridge and the dips went inside it. Then her husband said he hadn’t made it to the off licence for drinks yet and asked my husband if he wanted to go along to keep him company. They came back with a couple of cases of beer, cider, red and white wine. Apparently when they got to the cash register her husband stood with his hands in his pockets and mine paid.

Shortly after that another couple arrived with two cake boxes. Those were set aside too.

The snacks that were set out were carrot and cucumber sticks and some salad dressing, which another guest leapt on and double dipped till no one else wanted any. The other lady asked for a glass of red wine, she was still waiting two hours later as the red had been set aside somewhere.

Friends got pissed and burnt the barbecue food, there weren’t enough seats, we stood, in the dark, eating on the balcony railing, not enough food to go round. We didn’t get offered any dessert. I’m in no hurry to repeat the experience!

@Iaimtomisbehave1 and @Jux
DDad had always told us kids that we would get 50k when we either brought a home or got married, which ever came first. He gave to my two DSis, but when I got married, I asked about the money and got told it was tied up. Then when we signed the house contract, I asked again and got told the same story. So I was doubly hurt when I heard stepbrother received 50k at the same time DDad was telling me he couldn’t afford to give me my gift.... and Ive been too hurt / embarrassed to ask again. It’s a wall between us, whether DDad knows it or not.

I don't understand why some of the CFs in these stories are allowed to get away with pulling the same crooked stunts time and time again! Surely if someone scams you once you'd be wary of that person and not allow them to dupe you on a regular basis??

Some of these stories go way beyond cheeky fuckery - they are fraud/theft in some cases and the perpetrators need stopping/ calling out!

Can we have an MN pact to stop letting CFs continue to get away with it from now on? Just say a firm "NO" to all cheeky fuckery when it presents itself from now on!

@causeimunderyourspell you sound lovely. Absolute CFery there too. Awful.

SIL didn't want to pay for a key ring and so asked again if she could take this women's. And the woman handed it over!

I can't believe there are people in the world daft enough to hand over a possession just because someone asks for it

Why???

There's a tv show in this. Put them all in a restaurant with hidden cameras and watch the battle of sneakiness as they each try to avoid paying!

Just thought of another one. When I first moved to the town I live in now I was pretty isolated and friendless. I was befriended by a woman who I eventually came to realise had real issues. She had a habit of attaching herself intensely to any new person in town, smothering them and then behaving like a jealous lover if you looked or spoke at anyone else. [She rang me up one afternoon and asked what I had been doing that day and whn I replied not alot but I had bumped into a mutual friend in the town and we had a coffee she started screaming at me about how dare I have cofee with anyone else bu her etc etc and then bombarded us both with e-mails and messages saying we had 'betrayed' her by not inviting her... that sort of thing. Our friendship is over now]

... anyway.... her son was 'raising money' for charity to do one of those adventure fundraisers..... walking the Great Wall of China sort of thing and she was rattling the tin big time around town and sending facebook mesages and emails to everyone begging for sponsorship. I was pretty about it [it really was just paying for his gap year and his mother is really wealthy- although cries poor]. But, I thought she had been a good friend and had taken me under her wing and all that so thought I was obliged to contribute. The 'friend' had made it clear that a tenner here or there wasn't going to cut it, so I eventually 'donated' £100. Her comment when she took the money was to sniff and say; 'I would have thought you'd be good for more than that'.

Anyway, her precious charitably-minded baby only raised bout £600. So he decided not to go on the trip. The money was never returned, and my 'friend''s only comment about the issue after that was to say;' At least he got enough to pay off his overdraft'.

@BlueLegume report them both for benefit fraud! Why haven't you?!

Wow-I can honestly say I have never experienced CF like any of these. I honestly don’t get this, ‘too embarrassed to say anything’ or ‘so, I handed over £100’ etc They can only be CF if other people let them get away either it.

I just wouldn’t, despite what was ‘expected’-I might give a £5 and just say that’s all I could afford-especially if the person in question was quite unpleasant!

If someone had spent £100 of my money on paying off their overdraft, I would call them out on it very loudly.

Haha @ichwill I wish!! No one as exciting as that!!

1. Took daughter’s classmate to school for a year as his mum started work early. Had him for half an hour every school day that year. She offered to babysit on the night of my husband’s birthday...and said when we got home “shall we say £8 per hour?”

1. Friend comes to stay a lot with her children. Invite never reciprocated. They’re fed, entertained etc., no contribution. Not even a bottle of squash (let alone wine). Booked cinema one night to go with friend whilst here. I paid, so she said “I’ll pay for parking as you bought ticket”. She kept putting the same coin in the machine and it kept being rejected. With a queue behind us I got my purse out and paid for the parking...she kept putting her reject coin in, in between me putting £6 in. I then saw her coin and said “that’s an old pound coin, it won’t work”. Her reply...”oh yeah, I know. I’ll try it somewhere else”. What got me was the fact it was so pre-meditated!

I worked in an office, when it was someones birthday, they would bring in the cream cakes. Fine I didnt think to much of it until my birthday.

I dont really like cream cakes, so I choose a few boxes of chocs, enough for everyone to have a handful from an went in. No one said happy birthday, the few cards I got were thrown on my desk and all was said was, well wheres the cakes then we'd rather have them its what everyone does.

Oddly enough after that I just didnt bother. There was never any genuine interest in the person whose birthday it was they just wanted their faces filling with cake.

@BinkyBuntyFintyCunty did you pay her?!

Why couldn't you have taken in cakes for everyone and chocs for yourself? That's what I would've done. Mind you, I love a cream cake so maybe I'm biaised!

I don't understand how posters allow people they know are CF to keep taking advantage of them. A one off is enough for me!

My BIL has been staying with us on and off for the last few months. Been down after a breakup so happy to feed him but overnight bit was becoming annoying - he has his own flat and his stay would edge into CF territory with cooking him self breakfast and raiding the fridge to make a packed lunch. Over dinner with another guest, talk turned to Airbnb and BIL eagerly shares some top tips for getting the most money (wacking up cleaning fee to max) Slow dawning that he was staying when his flat being used by paying guests. If he had been straight with us, I would not have minded, it was the stealth and greed that have left a sour taste. When confronted, he brushed it off saying he does not always stay with us, he has a few friends places he sleeps at when he has a booking. Shamless CF.

What Holidayshopping said. Again, I never had the money to just be 'too embarrassed' to stump up hundreds of pounds and seethe about it. Haven't really encountered others who allowed CFs to take them like that, too.

I nearly got caught by a CF after returning to work after DS1 was born. Luckily I side-stepped it at the last moment! Several people had come up to me to ask how we were getting on, whether we were getting any sleep etc. Several people in my office are a genetaion older and had children already at secondary school, and lots of tips/help and advice being offered and gratefully received. One guy, let's call him M, who had two boys approaching double figures, kept telling me how he'd got loads of clothes that they'd grown out of, and how I should have them. I thanked him for being very kind and generous, but said we had already been given quite a lot by my older brother - and we didn't really have space for any more.
I get to work the next day and M comes across the office with two big carrier bags full of the clothes I had politely declined the day before. "Here they are," he says. "You can never have too many clothes, they grow out of things so fast, he'll be wearing these in no time!"
Bear in mind he is a newborn baby, and these clothes were for a 5-year-old.
"Oh, thanks M," I said, a bit embarrassed but still thinking he was just being generous, wanting the clothes his DC had worn to be put to good use because they hadn't been worn out.
"Just give us fifteen quid for them," he said, delivering this classic line of unashamed CFuckery with not one hint of shame.
"Pardon?"
"Just give us fifteen quid for them. Don't worry if you haven't got it now, just pay me tomorrow." Then he plonked them on my desk and walked off.
I was so taken aback I couldn't think of anything to say, so I waited until he went for lunch, put them back on his desk, and sent him an email telling him it was incredibly nice of him but I didn't think I could fit them into DS bedroom drawers - but thanks anyway.
CF neutralized.

Went on a hen night when DS was 3 months old and I was EBF. I drove, picked a few up and stuck to sparkling water all night. They ordered wine and champagne, didn't want to leave until 1am and when the bill came it was split equally including all the alcohol. I then had the pleasure of driving them home with full, achy boobs and being greeted by a screaming baby and fed up husband as DS had refused to drink expressed milk from a bottle.

And what's amazing is how many people would have handed it over, Clock. I mean, not only is the person a CF but also a twat who doesn't respect your boundaries! You'd declined. I really don't get people who hand over money. 'Sorry, I didn't agree to purchase anything. Thanks for the offer, but I'll pass.'

My husband's friend is awful. Large group of them went for a city break in Europe. They are all married with children except for the CF who is mid 30s but has never moved out of his parents house and has no financial responsibilities.

One of the group paid for CF (flights and apartment share) on the agreement he'd be paid back on pay day.

To date he still has £200 outstanding. It was 4.5 years ago. He has been paying him back in 'gig tickets' rather than actual money. This is after repeated requests to be paid back and has got to the point the friend just asks him to buy his ticket when CF messages them to say "shall we go to this?" They've obviously all learnt not to make that mistake again.

He also chases up a drink etc if he remembers buying someone a pint at the previous social event and it wasn't returned.