‘Babies are disgusting’

[PumpkinsMum18]

Not really an AIBU but wasn’t sure where else to post....

I have a friend at work. She is lovely, nice to chat to and a good laugh.

BUT she strongly dislikes children with a passion. She thinks ‘babies are disgusting’ (her exact words) and is adamant she is never going to have kids - fair enough, her choice, got no problem with that. A colleague brought in her new baby and my friend starting making little gagging noises when she saw the baby from across the office which I thought was a bit rude.....

I don’t have kids but am thinking about about starting TTC next year. I feel I won’t be able to speak to her about anything baby/pregnancy related cos she might make some upsetting comment.....

Has anyone ever met anyone like this? I totally understand some people aren’t keen on children but this seems a bit excessive?

Well there's not really any reason to discuss it with a work colleague is there? It really shouldn't have any bearing on ttc.

Nothing worse than the office baby bore / only woman in the dirks yo have ever been pregnant!

Are you my colleague?
I feel a bit like this, though don't make gagging noises. People bringing babies into the office makes me uncomfortable because I don't really know how to interact with them. I have two kids!

Ridiculously rude re the vomit noises. If and when you get pregnant you will need to share your happy news with your other colleagues and minimise talk with her about anything baby related I guess. As you say, she is entitled to her opinion but don’t let her put a damper on your happiness. Maybe she can’t have children and is covering it up though? Her views do sound a bit extreme!

A colleague brought in her new baby and my friend starting making little gagging noises when she saw the baby from across the office which I thought was a bit rude.....

^She made gagging noises at a baby? She sounds very childish and quite frankly a bit of a dick. At least you know now, so when you hopefully get pregnant I would keep your distance from her.

Ugh awful woman. It's fine to not like children and to not want any of your own but to gag when you see a baby is rude and attention seeking! I'd have said "Chill out love! We know you don't like babies, no need to be so dramatic".
Just ignore her.

My best friend from school was like this. she was in the ALFthough and was anti child for environmental and animal rights reasons. She ghosted me when I had DS1 and we haven't spoken since.

A colleague brought in her new baby and my friend starting making little gagging noises when she saw the baby from across the office

This is incredibly rude.

But really, no need to discuss your future pregnancy with this woman, or other colleagues unless they ask. And prepare a few replies to the rude comments she might come out with.

I feel I won’t be able to speak to her about anything baby/pregnancy related cos she might make some upsetting comment.....

Don’t talk to her about those things. Different friends have different interests. Not everyone likes babies.

Her behaviour around the baby was pretty childish, but it could be “protesting too much”.

I think it’s rude to act so nastily towards/about another person like she did when gagging for effect, whether that person is two weeks old or eighty years.

However if you know it’s a topic she dislikes talking about and you do get pregnant, it’d be rude of you to push talking about pregnancy and kids with her anyway so I don’t think there’ll be a problem.

This thread will get a lot of frothing around how anyone can hate kids and around her behaviour btw, is that what you’re looking for or are you more asking for advice on how to manage relations with this colleague if you become pregnant?

My sister in law used to be like this. It turned out she had fertility issues and it was her way of coping with the fact that she may never have children.

Making gagging noises over anything you don’t like in the workplace is a bit twatty and rude. However I don’t see any reason why you need to discuss babies and pregnancy with her once you start ttc. It’s a bit boring for a lot of people generally so discuss it with people who are interested. If she makes any rude comments that upset you just ask her not to again.

I don’t particularly like babies either, but wouldn’t be as rude as to make gagging noises. Seems she is a little lacking in social skills.

Well, babies are disgusting (I know, I've had a few of my own. Dearly loved, still disgusting at times.)

But opinions are like buttocks: we all have them, shouldn't necessarily display them.

Babies are disgusting really though aren't they?! They leak and dribble and ooze and very often smell. Lots have crusty bits- cradle cap- and spots and look a bit odd !

She doesn't need to be rude but yes, babies can be disgusting (but also super cute).

I don’t have kids but am thinking about about starting TTC next year. I feel I won’t be able to speak to her about anything baby/pregnancy related cos she might make some upsetting comment.....

Please think before you discuss your pregnancy and baby with everyone. A lot of people are infertile or have lost a child. Of course it is exciting for you but be careful because the conversation can be upsetting for others. I had a colleague who discussed her whole pregnancy almost constantly with everyone at her office desk. She shared an office with infertile me and a colleague who had lost a child. In the end we couldn't be in the same office as her (the boss moved her).

The gagging noises are very rude.

Babies are pretty disgusting though, toddlers even more so, then they are ok for a while and teenagers are pretty disgusting too

You know she doesn't like babies, why would you discuss anything about them with her anyway?

Thanks for the replies! You guys are right, I won’t need to discuss it with her if/when I do get pregnant so it shouldn’t be a problem. I’m not going to make a big song and dance about it at work! And I also think she’s making this fuss for attention so I doubt she would be rude to me on purpose if that makes sense.

As for the purpose of the thread, I was just wondering if these sorts of strong opinions towards babies/kids were common, and it seem they are!

I dislike babies and used to dread people bringing them into the office. As one of the few women I was expected to coo over them. They're noisy, smell revolting, and are boring. Then I had DS and found him noisy, smelly, and boring. The only difference is that I loved him so it was easier to put up with.
That said, your colleague was rude. She could have just kept her head down and got on with her work.

Can't stand people like this. I don't get why it's okay to be so rude about children. She wouldn't dare go around saying she hates old people and make gagging noises at them would she?

I think personally it could be a defence mechanism or even jealously
Maybe she's being trying for a long time and is thinking "Well if I can't have my own I'm not cooing at yours".
To me constantly making a point about something means you're protesting too much.
Im not exactly batty about new borns.
I coo and melt at kittens and puppies oh and not to mention baby spiders.
However when there is a new baby around I play the part because its the done thing.

explodingkitten for you. I had the exact same issue - a colleague who I had considered a friend, who knew all about my infertile issues, went on and on and on and on about being pregnant. It was so bad for my mental health. I was wishing death on her by the end. It turned me into a nasty person and was one of the worst periods of my life.

Tread carefully OP. Your colleague may have these issues too.

"Elderly people are disgusting"
"She started making little gagging noises when she saw my 90-year-old grandmother"

Does it sound acceptable?

Does your colleague ever get ill? Blow her nose? Have a shit or a wee? Does she have saliva? Need to shower or wash her hair?

Oh wait - of course she does - she’s a human being.

What a knob.