‘Babies are disgusting’

[PumpkinsMum18]

Not really an AIBU but wasn’t sure where else to post....

I have a friend at work. She is lovely, nice to chat to and a good laugh.

BUT she strongly dislikes children with a passion. She thinks ‘babies are disgusting’ (her exact words) and is adamant she is never going to have kids - fair enough, her choice, got no problem with that. A colleague brought in her new baby and my friend starting making little gagging noises when she saw the baby from across the office which I thought was a bit rude.....

I don’t have kids but am thinking about about starting TTC next year. I feel I won’t be able to speak to her about anything baby/pregnancy related cos she might make some upsetting comment.....

Has anyone ever met anyone like this? I totally understand some people aren’t keen on children but this seems a bit excessive?

I don't really like babies except for my daughter when she was a baby. I think its extremely odd to take babies to the office though and i tend to hide when people do that although i wouldn't make gagging noises.

Quite frankly whatafaery i couldn't give a damm if you do or don't like my age groyp haha. But an oed comment to make when you have no clue how old i am.

I used to be like that. I would ask to move tables in a resturant because I couldn't stand the smell of a baby. I'm not a big fan of bodily fluids and didn't find babies cute, so they grossed me out.

I then suddenly decided I wanted my own kids and baby stuff just became part of life. I love my baby and he doesn't gross me out at all. I even like changing his nappy. Although I don't like slobbery dribble kisses.

I'm still not great with other peoples kids. But I'm a million times better than I was. I once cleaned up another babies spit up at a group without thinking and nearly vommed. But I think babies are cute now and like a cuddle with a baby, somthing I wouldn't have done before.

@MakeAHouseAHome

Of course I don’t know your age group .

My point was, wouldn’t you think I was a massive cunt if I said that* to you irl and then gagged when you walked by? I would.

Anyone who makes unpleasant generalisations about an entire age group and makes a point of gagging at them like the woman in the op, either has some very serious issues or is... well, a cunt.

*“I can’t stand people in your age group”

Agree the gagging is wrong but of course I can dislike a particular section of society when they all share similar traits.

Well, they are a bit. Fine when they are clean and smiling. Not so much when oozing fluids from every orifice and screaming! I have always felt that way but towards the end of my first pregnancy I was granted an amnesty in my baby-phobia and I managed to product, bear and look after three of the little monsters . During that 15 year period I even managed to love ALL babies. Now that feeling has worn off and although I can cuddle and coo over any babies that I am required to, I'd rather not. It faded about the same time that my broodiness wore off. I suspect it's a sort of hormonal madness that takes hold that allows women to put up with the kind of tyrannical treatment that babies mete out.

Agree the gagging is wrong but of course I can dislike a particular section of society when they all share similar traits.

Are there other groups in society you dislike because they have similar traits? Just out of interest.

I think there will be lots of people you won't be able to talk to about TTC or babies because they won't be interested and you'll bore them to death. That said this particular woman sounds incredibly immature, rude and OTT, so I would avoid her for that reason. You can not particularly like babies without being rude or acting like a 12 year old.

I think making gagging noises is a bit childish. But I am not sure the baby would care in the slightest. However if you started making gagging noises at someone's elderly relative it could be assumed the elderly relative might notice and be upset. Not the same thing at all..

For me btw, it’s fine to dislike the traits and to not be fascinated by or especially in love with babies and children.

But to actively dislike or to say you “cannot stand” an entire section of society, based on their age, race, gender, nationality, sexuality etc etc, is just cunty. No other word for it. Ok maybe a naicer word; bigoted / prejudiced.

I get people not being that interested in children and I applaud these people for not bowing to societal pressures and having babies they don’t want, just because society expects them to.

But to actively dislike all children is something more than that. It is a really unpleasant, unattractive trait and I always am a bit suspicious of the reason for it.

I had a colleague like this and I guessed correctly he was indeed having fertility problems. This was a front. The min his wife finally had a baby the attitude was gone

Gagging was rude and horrible! Babies are disgusting, especially mince. I often still tell dd2 she is a disgusting baby when she does something gross, it makes her do something even more gross. However I love babies.
I would assume she either has her own issues or is simply rude and give her a wide berth if/when you do become pregnant

*mine. A mince baby would be an entirely different kind of disgusting

I know a girl who was like this for years and years, hated babies, hated any child and would say that pregnant women make her feel sick and do those gagging noises - all up until her late 30's when she finally fell in love and had a child of her own!
Now you'd think she was the first woman on the planet to have given birth and swoons over her child!

Quite amusing to watch!

The gagging is extremely rude!
Mind you I'm not keen on very small babies, they're a tad boring imo. Find them much more interesting when they're able to engage with you a bit more.

I love meeting babies and would far rather meet them than some of the uptight older versions of themselves making twunts of themselves on this thread.

I used to be a bit like this.
I felt so awkward when people (always women) brought babies into the office.
I was married and of childbearing age and felt worried that people wouldn’t take me seriously because I was like the person cooing over their baby. I didn’t want to miss out on promotions because people thought I might have a baby soon. So although I didn’t make gagging noises I was probably OTT in terms of expressing my lack of interest in babies/children.
I always knew I wanted them - I was just desperate for work to not know that.

To be fair I find most babies disgusting and annoying apart from my own but I would never behave like your colleague.. She sounds like an immature twat

I think the sick noise was ott and rude. But- I too find babies and very young children mostly revolting, it's a physical thing I can't help. It's mostly when they're snotty, smelly, dribbly, or have spat out food on their faces. Which for infants that age, is a lot! I'm also not the type at all to coo over a baby and don't like being made to. Sorry, I think they're gross. Give me a seven year old I can talk to, who doesn't randomly vomit without warning and doesn't stink of nappies and wipes any day!

@Motherofdinosaurs

She isn't lovely OP. People who don't like children never are. Actively disliking children and animals is a huge red flag when it comes to how 'lovely' a person is. I would steer clear.

I agree. To actively hate children is very odd, and a bit disturbing. I would steer clear of anyone who is so vitriolic towards children.

blackbird

Nobody is asking you to coo or say babies are gorgeous when they’re spewing all over you, but to use the word “disgusting” as an adjective for another human being, who hasn’t done anything ‘wrong’, does not sit right with me.

How would you feel about people who are seriously ill and can’t help being sick or can’t wipe their noses? Wouldn’t a civilised person think “ok, not nice, but it isn’t as if they can help it and I’m sure they aren’t enjoying it any more than I am”? It’s fine to find bodily fluids unpleasant or disgusting, but not the person who is producing them. Unless they’re doing it on purpose or something.

But when it’s something they can’t help and there’s certainly no malice behind it, (babies / sick people), I find it very weird that any decent person’s first reaction is to think “that person is disgusting. In fact, all people who are in that age group / are that sick are disgusting to me”. To then feel free to write it on here, like it’s totally acceptable? Why is that? Why is it acceptable? If you think about it, the reasons behind it cannot be good. That’s why it’s a massive red flag to me when people say this stuff irl.

If anyone said, “cancer patients or disabled people are disgusting, because they’re always being sick / have snotty noses”, I’d think they were an utter cunt. Not because babies are ill or have any disabilities, but because they too are vulnerable humans who can’t really help it if they’re sick.

Again, nobody says you have to like it, but to call another human being disgusting like that, as if it’s a totally acceptable thing to say. Nah. Not ok to me.