‘Babies are disgusting’

[PumpkinsMum18]

Not really an AIBU but wasn’t sure where else to post....

I have a friend at work. She is lovely, nice to chat to and a good laugh.

BUT she strongly dislikes children with a passion. She thinks ‘babies are disgusting’ (her exact words) and is adamant she is never going to have kids - fair enough, her choice, got no problem with that. A colleague brought in her new baby and my friend starting making little gagging noises when she saw the baby from across the office which I thought was a bit rude.....

I don’t have kids but am thinking about about starting TTC next year. I feel I won’t be able to speak to her about anything baby/pregnancy related cos she might make some upsetting comment.....

Has anyone ever met anyone like this? I totally understand some people aren’t keen on children but this seems a bit excessive?

She sounds very dramatic about it. I would definitely say something to her if you are in a one to one conversation and babies come up again.

A straightforward - your reaction was quite extreme and dramatic, were you trying to be funny? Followed with - you know its not an ugly new handbag someone has brought in that its ok to comment on if its not your style, you just don't do that with a baby/child, that baby is the center of their world just now and you did sound very rude.

Are you sure the gagging noises weren't because someone had been nauseating enough to bring their baby into the office?

Also, babies ARE kind of disgusting - the drool and dribble and vomit and smells etc. DS's revoltingness never bothered me because he just felt like an extension of me so his bodily fluids were no more disgusting than mine. Even now when his nose is running or he's eating with his mouth open, vile child. But "Urgh" still to other people's kids. I love them and enjoy talking to and about them, but when someone comes to work with their baby, while I'm happy to go over and coo, I hate holding them if they're sticky or milky. I don't want spit-up on my work clothes!

Maybe she doesn’t want to be confronted with them in the workplace, everywhere I have worked has had rules on either attending on specific mornings or meeting the team offsite. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable, if it’s inflicted on her then she can react how she likes; if something had been arranged out of work then it would be unreasonable for her to go and then make comments.

Her reaction is desperately immature.

It’s not ok to comment on someone’s handbag.

What an awful person.

Children are just people. I cant understand why someone would dislike a whole age group or find them disgusting.

Thats different to just not wanting one of your own.

@Branleuse Similarly, in precisely the same way some people can't understand why someone wants children.

People are different.

I'd crack on with it op and pay her no mind.

TBH your colleague sounds like a bit of a drama llama and one of those people who will act like that and if she ever had a child/fell pregnant and decided to keep it would go on and on about being mummy of the year/how she doesn't understand people who don't want kids etc etc

I have a few friends (and ex-friends) who are vehemently anti-children.
Some because they have fertility issues, some because they have physical/mental health issues and wouldn't want to pass them on to any offspring and some because they just can't stand children.

I wasn't very pro-children before I had my own, but I certainly think they were disgusting, or make gagging noises at them! I just wasn't overly fussed.

I think it's incredibly rude and immature of your colleague to make noises like that when your other colleague brought her baby in - fine for someone not to like children, but really fucking rude to make it so blatant!

I agree that your best bet is to limit discussion with this colleague - chances are she'll stop talking to you while you're pregnant, or, if not then, when your baby comes along.

You can't change people - you can only deal with your reaction to them. You know what she's like, so deal with the potential fall-out before it happens and be prepared.

Has anyone ever met anyone like this? I totally understand some people aren’t keen on children but this seems a bit excessive?

Yep. I later found out she was going through IVF.

Come and work with me OP, I couldn't have children but I luuurve babies and am delighted when there's a new one on the way

Gagging is rude and just bad mannered. If she doesn’t like babies she could just look busy, go to a different room or just say/ do nothing.

Gagging at someone's baby is evil.

LisaSimpsonsbff totally agree with you! I am not sure why people are saying never mention your pregnancy, don't talk about your baby, but we all chit chat about our lives don't we? I am barely interested in a lot of what work colleagues and even friends tell me, but I listen politely and ask because, you know, human interaction? politeness? interest in my friends' lives? why are babies so different?

surely the point is about people who are real bores and only talk about themselves incessantly regardless of the topic? this is not a trait only exhibited by parents!

I understand of course if somebody is going through infertility etc., if you know that, you should take their lead and either avoid or minimise talk of children (I say take their lead because some find it patronising to assume that they can't deal with baby talk, I know I did when I was TTC and having multiple miscarriages)

I am puzzled by people saying they would literally be sick if near a baby, is it just babies or certain smells in general?

I mean, babies are just people, and so part of life, no?

It’s NU to not like babies but it’s not exceptable to make gagging noises. I’m not particularly fond of babies but I can manage to say ‘isn’t he/she gorgeous’ etc.. when needed. I don’t find them disgusting I just don’t get why everyone goes crazy when someone walks into the room with one.

You don’t need to discus pregnancy and babies with her, why would you? She doesn’t have kids, doesn’t want them some would probably be bored stiff discussing them.

I’d be tempted to share all my Babycentre “this week, your baby is drinking amniotic fluid and pissing in your womb” junk with her and compare the pros and cons of different birth plans etc in a state of wide-eyed innocence.

There you go love, you want to be a prissy little drama queen, here’s something to get your teeth into (like this one lady who bit through the cord herself after giving birth stranded on a desert island! Oh baby hating workmate, can you believe it?!?)

PreppingPrat I'm not sure how you manage to even go to the supermarket/shop/anywhere if that's true.

It’s rude but it was probably a preemptive move to avoid ‘hold the baby, look at the baby, admire the baby, hee hee it’ll be you next, you’re in the ‘pregnancy chair’ hee hee, don’t you want a baby too, hee hee everyone who says no always changes their mind’, which is really fucking annoying.

A colleague brought in her new baby and my friend starting making little gagging noises when she saw the baby How rude.

But opinions are like buttocks: we all have them, shouldn't necessarily display them.

Babies are pretty disgusting though, toddlers even more so, then they are ok for a while and teenagers are pretty disgusting too

It doesn't stop there. I have a 25 year old who can be pretty disgusting at times.

How strange if it was Caution. Everywhere ive worked people have always managed to avoid holding the baby without being rude. Generally there's a queue of people wanting to hold it so it's actually easier not to (I quite like babies but Im not desperate to hold them).

Strange woman. I wonder what's really behind such a strong reaction. If I'd have heard her making gagging noises I would have pulled her up personally.

I know someone like this. She’s a big baby herself and an arsehole to boot. It is surprisingly common I think. If I come across it again irl I plan to say, “oh I totally understand. How old are you? 42? I think 42 year olds are fucking from 🤮. I’m sure you get it. I just can’t be around you without gagging sorry ”.

@barbarianmum I said it was rude. It is a strange reaction, I agree with you. Just trying to figure out why someone would do this rather than the time honoured trick of pretending to be on the phone. Personally I imagine someone has brought in a kitten or a puppy, think how delighted I would be, plaster on a smile and get stuck in.