To be fed up of dh moaning that he’s hungry?

[Breadfoam]

Dh is on a diet. He’s reduced his (massive) consumption down to 2000 calories a day. He spends a lot of time moaning that he is hungry and when we go places talking about how upsetting it is that he can’t eat what he wants. For example if we go out for a meal or something - previously he’d have had the biggest thing on the menu and some drinks but he has cut back.
Fair enough he’s doing well and he’s lost weight.

However because I’m a t1 diabetic and my sugars are brittle since having my daughter I can barely eat at all. It’s been 18 months since I ate a meal of any description and when we go out I actually have nothing to eat at all. I can either be hungry or feel ill so most of the time I am hungry. Occasionally I’m so hungry that I could cry. It pains me when he goes on about how hungry he is and how unfair it is when all I’ve eaten that day is half a piece of toast and some strawberries!

Aibu to find it insensitive? He’s actually bloody lucky that he can as he does and his pancreas works!

OP please please go back to your doctor. This isn't right, you can't sustainably live like that. Please please get more medical help.

My 23 year old friend passed very suddenly from complications from T1 diabetes only a month ago. Please look after yourself

I know dh has done well and it takes discipline.
I just find it a little insentsitive because he could eat something even if it isn’t what he really wants. He could still eat low fat things and it would be fine. I know he actually wants all the foods you should have on a diet but at least he can eat something!

For example if we go out for a meal or something

If neither of you are allowed to eat "normally" going out for meals seems like a bad idea.

Have you tried a ketogenic diet?

It could be useful to drop out the toast and ride out the highs/lows for a few days on a keto diet and see if your bg stabilises.

Apologies if you've already tried that but you can't just not eat at all. If go back to the drs and keep demanding help.

Tends to be family meals we can’t get out of.
Dh still eats a fair bit but for example doesn’t have chips with his pizza - or only one portion. He’d been known to order two portions previously!

can you afford a private appointment there are lots of private clinics who could help

Strawberries and toast sound like about the worst things to be all you can eat, as a diabetic. What's the problem with protein and green veg? If all you're eating is strawberries and a tiny piece of toast, your forever isn't going to be very long.

The trouble with the ketogenic diet is I don’t eat meat and am allergic to quorn and soya. This reduces my options quite a lot.

Your carb intake may be the one factor you can control, but you're headed towards underweight and a diet of berries and toast means you're not getting the protein and micro-nutrients you need!

You need help, urgently. Would an insulin pump help you? Has a pump been discussed?

Ignore my post, I cross posted.

If you can, and your diabetes clinic is crap, I’d consider going private to see a specialist and get some advice.

I’m sorry it’s so terrible for you right now x

I hope it gets better.

No idea about your dh, he sounds quite insensitive considering your situation.

Could you eat a carnivore diet (animal products only so zero carb meaning very minimal need for insulin?) Bread is very heavy in carbs and if you were going for low carb raspberries and blackberries would be your best fruit option for needing as little insulin as possible.

Is there any reason for you to not eat meat? I hope you can find a way of eating as your current diet seems unsustainable.

I have an insulin pump.
It’s the variability. They suggested a DAFNE course but I understand about counting carbs and adjusting the dose. I’ve been at this for 25 years.
If the same dose, same food, same carbs gives totally results how does counting carbs help...

Sorry I just read that you don’t eat meat! Is there any way you would consider or none at all?

What about eggs? Seriously, if a veggie or vegan diet is so dangerous for you, in multiple ways, you probably need to accept that we are omnivores.

I hate to say this, but do you really think not eating meat is the best thing for your body. Your life sounds utterly miserable.

I’ve been vegetarian longer than I’ve been diaetbic - 32 years. I don’t know... I find the idea of eating meat really difficult.

Clinic don’t care because there isn’t a permanent consultant (have seen 6 different ones in three years)

Clinic should care, if you're not being supported when your diabetes is so brittle then a complaint is in order. Continuity of care may be an issue, but there's no excuse for a lack of attempting to help you.

Are you vegetarian? If allergic the Quorn and soya, unable to eat anything containing carbs, meat is one of the few things you actually can eat. Surely your health and being able to eat a proper meal should come above the choice to be a vegetarian?

What about eggs or cheese? Low in carbs and high in protein so filling.

There are no carbs in cheese and eggs and they're a bit more filling. there are some carbs in nuts but maybe you can try a handful and see how it goes? I know that the advice is that T1 shouldn't eat too much fat but you're underweight so need something. I second talking to your specialist about why you don't stabilise. Do you still breastfeed?

Have a look at the new 670g medtronic pump. In combination with CGM it can stop and start itself again when on a hypo and when hyper it can release a bit of insulin. It's pretty new but might be a good choice for you.

I think I would find the idea of starving or worse complications or osteoporosis or kidney failure or early onset dementia ... I could go on
worse than eating meat.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but is there not a chance you will starve to death on your current diet?

I'm much more concerned about the fact that you're fixated on your DH being insensitive and yet you seem almost oblivious to what your own diet will do to your body in the medium to long term

I know it isn’t great - I said to the consultant last week t1 will kill me eventually but I’m hoping this way I will at least be around long enough to see my children grow up. A bad hypo could be game over.
Told consultant I wasn’t able to eat but he had nothing much to say to that apart from suggesting DAFNE. Then he went on about the fact they are really only concerned about hypoglycaemia (I’m not having any hypoglycaemia at the moment thanks to the tiny amount of insulin and libre) and said that the main thing was that I wasn’t having any low blood sugar episodes. And that was it.

1. talk to your diabetic team
2. he needs to either eat a bit more or look at what he is eating and eat more filling healthy foods, fill a plate with veg and salad etc Being hungry all the time is not sustainable. He needs to make a lifestyle change that is lasting