Bridesmaid can’t make my wedding - AIBU?

[Totempoler]

I’m getting married next year and one of my bridesmaids now can’t come to the wedding because she’s joining the Navy and she’ll be training. AIBU to be furious and think friends shouldn’t do this?!

God I do loathe weddings. All that "our day" shit.

Should be phased out in favour of sensible, adult civil partnerships. No need for meringue dresses/confetti/monster ££££cakes/people having psychotic breaks about buttonholes

What exactly were you expecting her to do? It's not like she's booked a holiday or a nail appointment

YABU. How often would she get the chance to do this training? How could you expect your friend to put her life and career on hold for one day, surely you understand?

You sound a really awful friend.

Has she offered to take you to dinner on a different day or something?

Bwahaha. That’s all I’ve got.

Should be phased out in favour of sensible, adult civil partnerships. No need for meringue dresses/confetti/monster ££££cakes/people having psychotic breaks about buttonholes

Totally misread that last word as buttholes

Training will be in specific months only. YABU, it's a career for the rest of her life, this is just one day in yours!

Don't be this person op!

You have a chance here to behave like a decent normal person rather than be in that group of narcissistic arse holes who believe what they want is the only way and ruin the world for everyone else with their tantrums.

Your friend has given you months notice to adapt things.
She could have just not told you until it's too late.

Seriously - some people

I do love threads like this to brighten my day

Ok OP on the chance that you are serious perhaps you could pay her all her wages that she would lose to postpone her career for your BIG day

sure, if you want to pay for her to give up her career for your one day?

Actually, why dont you move your wedding, if you were a real friend you would do that

YABU

what does 'reverse' mean?

Do you really expect her to put her life on hold and risk her whole future career because you are getting married?
Does the irony escape you that you're expecting her to put your interests first while simultaneously not putting her best interests first.
Just to be 100% clear, a whole future career outranks a 'friend's' wedding day!

This has got to be a joke. It's her career! She can't put it on hold because of you. Give your head a wobble.

Yes you are being unreasonable. No-one can hold off their career for a friend's wedding! She's joining the navy so she has to more or less do as she's told just like those in the armed forces. Don't fall out over it OP. She's given you plenty of notice too.

@Bigonesmallone3 'reverse' means that this thread is so clearly bonkers that they must actually be the friend joining the navy but has written the thread from the brides perspective.

Bloody hell, this wedding stuff is getting out of hand!

Didn't go my closest, oldest friends wedding because we'd accepted another invite from someone we know less well. BF was gutted but never made it my problem at all. She still jokes about how she managed not to tell me the date of the wedding. 20 years ago and friendship totally in tact. Do you really really think she should put her life on hold for your wedding day?

Yabu very much.

Your wedding is about you and your husband to be. Not everyone is going to be able to make it as much as you want them to.

Expect her to miss alot more things due to deployment, she will have to fit the life she knows now into a much smaller box and will need you to be understanding.

Otherwise she might just have to find herself a new best friend.

Nobody can be this self-absorbed.

Hope OP's friend has an amazing career in the navy.

@BatsAreCool
Gotcha
Thanks love

Blimey, you are bonkers OP. You should be saying well done to your friend and wishing her well in her new career!

One of my best friends dared cancel on my three days before my wedding. She was supposed to do a reading....

But it's because her sister in law died.

Life happens, my wedding was one day. I was sad for my friend because of what she was going through. Not sad for me.

The world doesn't revolve around me, even on my wedding day!

Be happy for her she is doing something that matters for her. Be pleased she's told you now and not sooner to the time. Tell her how much you'll miss her there but will send her photos.

Assuming you aren't joking as noone surely is this self absorbed. If you can't handle a perfectly valid and easily understandable reason like this maybe you should elope before you get any further into wedding planning.

Why do people jump in with 'reverse?' on threads?
Is it a competition to spot one? It's tedious.

YABU OP. If you are joining the navy you don't get to choose when you have to go.

Surely you didn't expect anyone to think you are being reasonable here?

Yes you are being unreasonable.