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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think the hospital should have kicked them out a long time ago?!

227 replies

lalalemon · 12/11/2018 13:19

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-daughter-live-hospital-15-13576615
21 year old woman and her mother have been living in a hospital room for 15 months!

OP posts:
drspouse · 14/11/2018 09:09

I was in hospital with DS aged 1 with a chest infection; on the same ward was a big teenage lad with disabilities and his snoring dad because he needed some kind of feeding that COULD be done at home but hadn't been arranged yet. They came every night from 20 miles away.

selfconfesseduggaddict · 14/11/2018 11:02

I think some people just have no idea what disability is like and think wheelchairs fit through all doors, that an adult child is as portable for a parent as a baby, that you should be grateful for a roof and live under it even if doing so might make you more at risk of another hospital stay because you fall/are dropped/carer does their back in

I have a disabled adult family member, they haven't left their home even to get into their own garden for over a year... not because they don't want to or are being held hostage... but because we are still waiting on the equipment that would allow them to safely do that. It's absolutely disgusting. My family member has people who ring up and complain constantly on their behalf who threaten to go to the papers etc, we get fobbed off with some promise to keep us quiet and then it all falls through again

What about the people who don't have family members advocating for them?

It's terrifying

Miscible · 14/11/2018 14:21

selfconfessed, would your relative qualify for legal aid? It could be worth contacting solicitors who specialise in community care law to enforce his rights to proper care arrangements.

HelenaDove · 14/11/2018 22:12

"Every person with a disabled relative who wanted to live in London would be turning up at London Hospitals with a poorly relative then announcing they had nowhere to go at discharge. It would cause massive disruption if it spread, and this sort of scam spreads quickly."

@DTSMUMBOJO Do you really think so? Fucking hell

Back in March in the aftermath of the Beast from the East as i watched the furore unfold on my Twitter feed , where many Londoners had no running water for days on end thanks to Thames Water and their lack of maintanance of the infrastructure i would not rush to pack my bags. You can bloody keep your precious London.

Gingerrogered · 17/11/2018 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TightPants · 17/11/2018 14:30

The problem is that the hospital and the council cannot say what’s really going on due to patient/client confidentiality.

People wouldn’t believe the absolute piss taking and the stunts that some people (thankfully a minority) pull.

Gingerrogered · 17/11/2018 14:37

I know Tiggy. And they'll just send out the message it works and gets you what you want, and that being honest and going through the proper channels get you nothing.

They should evict them and Barnet should refuse to give them anything apart from a ticket back to Grimsby.

But I would be amazed if she didn't have her demands met.

thethoughtfox · 17/11/2018 16:27

This happens a lot.

onthenaughtystepagain · 17/11/2018 16:54

This is one of the many reasons that the NHS is in such a poor financial state. They're there to make people well, they're not the Social Services, the Housing Department nor a doss house.
It should not be possible for people to 'refuse to leave', they should be removed, forcibly if necessary.

HelenaDove · 17/11/2018 16:58

Can i have a link please?

Gingerrogered · 17/11/2018 17:09

It's in the Mail helena.

HelenaDove · 17/11/2018 17:27

This is from the new article

North East Lincolnshire Council, the authority which covers Grimsby, has NOW accepted ‘they have a legal duty to provide accommodation’ for Ruth and her mother and have a ‘suitable property available’

and why the inverted commas?

Gingerrogered · 17/11/2018 17:31

Because it's a quote helena.

FullOfJellyBeans · 17/11/2018 17:50

I agree that some people have absolutely no idea what it's like to live with disabilities or serious illness. You can see it here "if you're well enough to go to college you're well enough to live at home". There are plenty of people who can be out of the hospital and even fairly active for most of the day but require dialysis every night for example (and some people haven't managed to perform this at home or don't have a suitable machine available). There are plenty of people whose home has become simply inaccessible to them. Still it's very easy for us to sit and pass judgement.

Gingerrogered · 17/11/2018 17:57

beans have you RTFT? She is medically fit for discharge and there is a house waiting for them in Grimsby with all necessary adaptations but they're refusing to go because they want to live in London.

HelenaDove · 17/11/2018 18:02

has any journalist gone or offered to go to Grimsby to check out this house.

Or are they simply following the usual default setting of

council/HA = always tells the truth and

tenants = always tell lies. Hmm

Gingerrogered · 17/11/2018 18:06

And they were in possession of a fully adapted home for the first six months they refused to leave.

Gingerrogered · 17/11/2018 18:10

Helena, their eviction case with all these details is publicly available.

This is not one you can blame in the council.

Miscible · 17/11/2018 18:10

Gingerrogered, even if you accept the story with the Mail's inevitable slant at face value, that's not what it says. Grimsby has suddenly magicked up the availability of a house with full specialist adaptations despite the fact that, when they were first approached about this story only very recently, they didn't claim to have one available. Anyone who knows anything about how council housing departments work will be very sceptical indeed, and people upthread who know about conditions in Grimsby have given plenty of reasons which would justify scepticism.

For all the claims that they are "playing the race card" (which, frankly, is a phrase which inevitably shows the user up to be racist anyway), the report doesn't say that there is no evidence of it - the family have made complaints, and locals acknowledge that there is a gang of youths which has been causing problems. And, if you know anything about the reality of being targeted on account of your race, you will know that many victims stop putting in formal complaints because they get ignored and may well result in them being victimised all the more. If you are deemed to be the wrong colour and disabled to boot, it's a double whammy and you probably have more than enough on your plate anyway.

HelenaDove · 17/11/2018 18:15

And thanks to these articles there is now a higher chance they may be targeted due to the young womans disability as well.

who is going to be held responsible if (God forbid) they end up being victims of a disability hate crime.

anniehm · 17/11/2018 18:17

Social services should be involved doing a managed discharge, it happens frequently with the elderly and following life changing injuries. I'm sure there's more to this than meets the eye.

Steakandkidney · 17/11/2018 18:54

TBH Grimsby's a total dump and I wouldn't be surprised if it is racist

HelenaDove · 17/11/2018 19:17

A good example is what has been happening with Grenfell There have been dubious reports that residents have been refusing homes. But many of the homes offered have been not fit for human habitation or not adaptable.

Celeste SPT
@Celeste_SPT
19m19 minutes ago

Celeste SPT Retweeted loz

Do you know any #Grenfell survivors? Their needs?

30 of 129 #GrenfellTower households had a disabled member. RBKC didn’t check & only bought 3 disabled access homes. Is this “expecting more than should be due” then?

Your “beliefs” are lies about people who’ve been through hell."

vdbfamily · 17/11/2018 19:31

I work for NHS and most hospitals have a few long stay patients who are 'stuck' in hospital and some eventually die there. The ones I have experienced with very long stays is where family members have actively blocked them leaving. This is usually financially motivated as the parent now needs residential/nursing care and is self funding so family insist on Continuing Healthcare assmt and when they do not meet criteria they appeal and so it goes on. Family can block access to financial assessment, refuse to agree the plan etc.
There is no way any of this should happen from acute hospital beds but unfortunately when you have a patient who could sit under health/social services or housing, they will all just argue the toss rather than be creative and share the cost.

Gingerrogered · 17/11/2018 19:34

miscible, Grimsby never said that they didn't have a house. They said that because when this pair abandoned the fully adapted house they already have, they also stopped paying council tax (ie, they pocketed the money they were paid by Universal Credit for that purpose, along with the money they've saved on food and bills since the NHS started footing the bill for them too - no wonder they have so much money to spend on all those shopping trips!) so they were no longer legally obliged to house them because council tax debt disqualifies you from entitlement to social housing. But they've decided to bend the rules and overlook that anyway.

Enjoy your little thrill from your virtue signalling SJW posturing miscible. I doubt that the poor disabled person stuck in unsuitable accommodation because this pair of scam artists have pinched their place in the queue would vouch for the genuineness of your 'caring'. You couldn't give two shits about anybody who is invisible.

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