AIBU or has DP been a twat

[Hocusypocus]

DP works nights but came home last night at midnight as there was an issue at work, he woke me up to ask me to set an alarm on my phone for very early morning so he didn't miss football (he plays every Sunday, straight after he gets off work) then proceeded to keep me up until gone 1:00am. He couldn't use his own alarm apparently, as his phones playing up.

I have a baby at home and am pregnant so need whatever sleep I can get at the moment.

He stays up watching TV until gone 2, disturbing me again when he came to bed then proceeded to keep me up for the remainder of the night with his snoring. I then get woken again by his stupid alarm going off on my phone.

He goes to football this morning and calls after the match to say he's just finishing an after match pint (uncommon for him so no problem there) and do I want to meet him in town in 25 minutes after I've collected a parcel, so we can take DS to the park and grab some dinner.

I collect the parcel and go to town, standing about with the pram for over half an hour. I text him to say I'm here then he rings and says he'll be another hour because his team mate has got him another pint, but it's not his fault because he didn't ask for it.

I say well what do you want me to do then? He replies that it's up to me. Irritated and tired I hung up and came home.

AIBU and hormonal or has he acted like a twat.

Ok. Worse. He has form for cheating too. Same applies though. He is getting away with it. He'll keep on doing it . Try and get away. A Travelodge can't be much more than he's spent this weekend.

He's clearly taken this opportunity to take full advantage of the fact he may as well stay at the pub as he's already pissed me off.

That makes him a double twat. If you love and care for someone you don’t piss them off twice in one day. You rush home and apologise profusely for upsetting them and hope your partner forgives you. You’re H can’t even be arsed to do that.
I’m so sorry you’re married to such an uncaring, selfish individual.x

Don’t stew tonight. Concentrate on doing nice stuff for you. Keep your powder dry when he comes back. Then say what you want to on your terms on your timing, not because you are waiting for him. Its all about him isn’t it - his work, his football, his sleep, his drinking. Nothing at all about his dp or his child or his child on the way. I would deprioritise him forthwith.

The second pint is a load of crap as that was three hours ago.

If he's been unfaithful again I'll change the locks and that'll be game over, it's the sitting here and not knowing whether he's 1) just being a selfish bastard 2) there's more to it than drinking in the pub with team mates.

Whose name is the house in? I'd be very tempted to lock the doors from inside and text him to stay elsewhere tonight.

Ohh sheesh. I'm rarely the LTB type but OP he sounds terrible.
You're not a mug. It's so easy to see his behaviour when you're emotionally removed but not when you're living it.
Bags on doorstep methinks !!! I wish you all the best !!

The place is in both of our names

Yes the sitting and waiting will drive you mad. I have been there. Worrying about accidents etc. Hours of my life. Then him sauntering in and the next day being a write off. Don't waste your life.

What an absolute fucknugget.

Are you in a different time zone to the UK, or is it 5pm there? Just that you mentioned dinner and 'sit in the pub all night' when it's afternoon. Not that it makes much of a difference - staying out all afternoon is pretty poor!

If I knew where he was I'd storm down there and demand his key, it certainly is the sitting and wondering that's the most difficult.

It's escalated from him being an arse to me sat worrying where he is and what's going on

@TatterdemalionAspie yes were in the UK. Sorry my bad wording.

He went to the pub at 12:30 after football for a "quick pint" then we were supposed to grab dinner (lunch to some)

He's been there since 12:30

I'm presuming he'll be there all night but so far it's been all afternoon

You can always lock the doors from the inside and leave the keys in place.

Ok he's been a total prick BUT I think you're spiralling now. It's only 5pm, I doubt he's off having a one night stand. Much more likely he's had a few too many and knows he's in the shit for it. He's been very selfish. My DH used to do that, and turn his phone off, and it really fucking antagonised me.

Can you go and stay at your mum's house regardless of the fact she's not there?

@JudasPrudy you're probably right, if he hadn't done it before the thought would've never crossed my mind.

He doesn't make a habit of going awol, and doing this is out of character, the only other time he has was when he cheated, that's why I'm likely jumping to conclusions.

@UnicornSlaughters unfortunately not as I don't have a key, her partners place is quite a way away so not as easy as popping round to get it

Is the coming home from work and this behaviour today connected? It seems very strange that he's acted like this. I wonder if he has another woman and it's gone tits up maybe and he never actually went to football. Whatever happens, when he comes home and sobers up there's some serious talking to do. His behaviour is completely unacceptable. The phone playing up will be a good excuse for him not replying and switching it off.

He's a complete cunt waffle, and I'd be locking the house down, with his stuff tossed on the lawn tbh.

Hormones make me crazy. He's just digging himself a deeper hole.

He's being so disrespectful. I'd usually say try and keep the moral high ground but I don't think I could in this situation. I can take a lot of things, but being disrespected isn't one of them.

Was it his parcel?

If it was me and I had a key for my mum's or knew where a spare is hidden I'd pile into a taxi and head over there. Otherwise I know I'd be sitting at home alternating stressed, angry and crying. Leaving temporarily is the only way he'll realise he's f**ked up. He'll be fine - if anything had happened someone would have contacted you (this situation is SOOO shitty, because you start worrying). He's going to stagger in shit faced and will be totally dismissive/incapable of talking. Then in the morning he'll be hungover and won't engage in discussing it. I feel so angry on your behalf. My DP has pulled this kind of shit in the past and I know how awful it feels waiting. x

Do you own or rent OP? I'd be seriously considering my future with this man

...Sorry I wrote that before you posted above about not having a key x

Get yourself some food, and don’t make him any (as you find by onow when he’s back).
Yes he does sound like a massive annoying twat, but he’s probably pissed up in the pub rather than cheating on you.

The parcel was for me, it was clothes for unborn that I ordered but missed the delivery.

I wish I could go to mums myself, sitting in here alone is driving me mad. I feel so anxious and upset. I can't stand being in limbo and my hormones are making me a mess.

He's not a big drinker, he's only ever gone for drinks after football on maybe four occasions in the past three years.

When he rang me at 12:30 he was definitely in a pub setting as it was loud, when he called the second time to say he was having another drink he was still in the same setting. I could barely hear him and asked him to step outside because all I could hear were rowdy blokes in the background.

The team he supports was playing against Liverpool today, I think that was on the tv in the pub as he mentioned the score, but he's not a hardcore fan and pissing it up watching the match is unusual for him. Either way, the football ended hours ago.