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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or has DP been a twat

289 replies

Hocusypocus · 11/11/2018 14:56

DP works nights but came home last night at midnight as there was an issue at work, he woke me up to ask me to set an alarm on my phone for very early morning so he didn't miss football (he plays every Sunday, straight after he gets off work) then proceeded to keep me up until gone 1:00am. He couldn't use his own alarm apparently, as his phones playing up.

I have a baby at home and am pregnant so need whatever sleep I can get at the moment.

He stays up watching TV until gone 2, disturbing me again when he came to bed then proceeded to keep me up for the remainder of the night with his snoring. I then get woken again by his stupid alarm going off on my phone.

He goes to football this morning and calls after the match to say he's just finishing an after match pint (uncommon for him so no problem there) and do I want to meet him in town in 25 minutes after I've collected a parcel, so we can take DS to the park and grab some dinner.

I collect the parcel and go to town, standing about with the pram for over half an hour. I text him to say I'm here then he rings and says he'll be another hour because his team mate has got him another pint, but it's not his fault because he didn't ask for it.

I say well what do you want me to do then? He replies that it's up to me. Irritated and tired I hung up and came home.

AIBU and hormonal or has he acted like a twat.

OP posts:
Frouby · 11/11/2018 16:34

Hes a cunt OP.

Go to your mams, turn your phone off and see how he likes it. Wanker.

Pawprintjoy · 11/11/2018 16:34

What a cunt, go to your mums for tonight and let him realise he was in a complete twat today. You shouldn’t have to put up with this, especially not when pregnant with small DC with you. You don’t deserve this OP xx

m00rfarm · 11/11/2018 16:34

Just go - anywhere - and turn your phone off.

RomanyRoots · 11/11/2018 16:35

Tosser, a twat is too good a word.
Cunt is much better tbh.

eddielizzard · 11/11/2018 16:35

Yup. Leave, stay with your mum for the night and get some proper sleep. He's a complete twerp.

Fridaydreamer · 11/11/2018 16:36

Utter utter twat who is demonstrating how much he cares about you. So sorry Flowers

Frustratedmum78 · 11/11/2018 16:37

Ah OP, I really feel for you. What an immature prick.

RedDogsBeg · 11/11/2018 16:38

I hope you are en route to your mum's now OP.

Turn off your phone so he can't contact or disturb you.

HollowTalk · 11/11/2018 16:38

I agree - just go and don't leave a message about where you are. Tell your mum not to answer the phone to him, too.

HollowTalk · 11/11/2018 16:38

Oh and turn the heating off before you go.

PhilomenaButterfly · 11/11/2018 16:38

Love that Phaedras!

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 11/11/2018 16:40

Spoke to my mum who's gone to her partners for the weekend and as sympathetic as she is (and bloody angry too) it's not practical to go and see her now.

I'm not a paranoid person but am definitely wondering wtf he is doing.

OP posts:
WoahBaby · 11/11/2018 16:41

OMG, unbelievable. He might've been in with a chance of rescuing this if he'd met you on time? Loser. You don't deserve this at all. Please go to your mum's and be looked after.

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 11/11/2018 16:42

He usually comes home and showers after football, how practical would it be for him to sit in the pub all night, muddy and sweaty with his football stuff in tow.

Somethings amiss.

OP posts:
WoahBaby · 11/11/2018 16:42

Oops, sorry cross post.

InfiniteVariety · 11/11/2018 16:42

Do you have a key to your mum's house?

WoahBaby · 11/11/2018 16:44

The thing I don't get is why leave you now all day like this? He's making things 100 times worse??!! The logic is weird and you're right to be fuming. I don't think you're paranoid either.

MynameisJune · 11/11/2018 16:44

I could have overlooked the waking up, although it’s not great, but asking you to meet him, not turning up and then staying out hours later and turning his phone off. I’d be seriously considering my life with him. He is a an absolute dick of a man. I won’t call him a cunt or a twat because I doubt many females would act this way.

Go to your mums for the night.

My DH works nights, I’m pregnant and we have a 2 year old. If he comes home early and DD is in our bed he sleeps in her bed so as not to wake us. If he comes into our bed he never wakes me up because he is considerate. Weekends are family time because he works all week and doesn’t see us. He helps around the house and does the majority of childcare at weekends because he knows I’m exhausted at the minute and do it all week. This is how it should be, and this is the standard you deserve. Not some man child.

BasicUsername · 11/11/2018 16:45

Could you stay in a hotel for the night, or with a good friend?

Alternatively, lock the doors, and tell him to fuck off back to his mates when he gets home.

Strawberry2017 · 11/11/2018 16:45

He has shown so much disrespect.
Sending you big hugs. X

0lgaDaPolga · 11/11/2018 16:51

Absolute twat behaviour. Even if you weren’t pregnant and have a baby with you leaving you waiting like that is unbeleivably rude, not even considering the bad nights sleep you had because of him.

So sorry your mums isn’t an option. Hope you’re ok Flowers

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 11/11/2018 16:51

I don't really have anywhere I can stay, bar a hotel, but I don't want to spend the money meanwhile i want to know when he gets home, iykwim.

He can be an inconsiderate bastard but this is new grounds for him, he knew I was annoyed, must have guessed I'd be tired, and stays out this long and turns his phone off.

If the phone died that's surely more reason to hurry up and come home.

A couple of years ago he was unfaithful and had a one night stand. I remember being in exactly this position on the day he did it. Couldn't get hold of him, didn't know what he was doing. Going out of my mind with annoyance.

This just brings back too many familiar of feelings of dread.

Yes I'm a massive mug Sad

OP posts:
MsPavlichenko · 11/11/2018 16:52

Can you go to a friend? I don't think you need to be worried about an OW. I do think you need to be worried about him beilng a selfish , manipulative prick. Possibly controlling ( he has today ). He is showing yo who he is and basically saying" Fuck you, and what are you going to do about it"

You being stuck at home , and pregnant doesn't surprise me. Shit like this often starts or worsens then. Apologies mean nothing afterwords. Or promises. I think the only thing that might get through is you leaving him with the DC like this . I know you don't want to but they rely on us not doing it to them. Worth a try. And I'd try and be away when he gets home.

QuarterMileAtATime · 11/11/2018 16:52

Complete twat. Your feelings are meaningless but he mustn’t turn down a pint in case it offends, ffs

ILoveAutum · 11/11/2018 16:54

((Hug))

He woke YOU up to set an alarm so he could go to football. You’re DEFINITELY putting up with too much already. He could have got ‘one of the lads’ to ring, he could have missed going for once, he could have put a timer on downstairs and slept down there. The fact he happily WOKE you up to do this shows his total disregard for you. Then he proceeded to keep you awake. I’d have had pieces of him and he’d have been on the couch and I’d go have turned the alarm off.

He’s a TWAT for having kept you waiting AT ALL today, but then to tell you he’ll be another hour because his mates bought him another pint.

Fuck my days...that’s incredibly disrespectful, unloving, unkind, shitty & just plain horrible. AS for his comment ‘Do what you want’ I would. I’d pack him a couple of bags and tell him to go and stay elsewhere because I’d had enough.