to not 'cover up' when breastfeeding even though DH wants me to?

[PizzaPlanet2]

My opinion: Nobody cares about seeing a flash of nipple (and if they do they're idiots) and I shouldn't have to sit with a muslin or blanket over my baby's head. It's just a boob...

DH opinion: it's not appropriate for anyone to see my boob. Thinks I should cover up and nobody has any business seeing my nipple.

WIBU to ignore his opinion and just do what I want? I don't see why I have to cover up and faff with muslins etc.

Opinions?

I've seen a woman sit there with both boobs completely out whilst breastfeeding in the doctors surgery, sitting directly opposite me, my DH and my teenage son which made them uncomfortable. So I can see both sides if I'm honest.

Did they have to stare or could they have picked up a magazine or played on their phones, had a chat with each other?

Did they know what breasts looked like before this traumatic incident?

It's like anything, you get some crazy exhibitionists who do get their boobs out for an hour for a 20 min feed on one side. But then you also get pissed up people flashing etc. The vast vast majority of people are just trying to feed their baby and not trying to make a big deal out of it, and if they accidentally show a bit of nipple for a second before the baby latches on...then so what?

@AnneLovesGilbert

Most people don’t even notice you’re BFing because the baby’s head covers the majority. I was feeding DS for half an hour when MIL asked impatiently for a hold, she had no idea I’d been feeding him the whole time.

Tell your DH to get a grip.

AnneLovesGilbert, they didn't stare. But why should they have to feel the need to avert their eyes? You're from another planet if you think it's normal behaviour to sit in public with your tits fully out.

On today's episode of "sure, that really happened".....

Anyone posted this yet? m.youtube.com/watch?v=-dw2XHMUnyE&t=1s

I bf at home, but not out. DH didn't want me to so I didn't. It was easier to give in and I still pick my battles carefully after the hell I went through with my EXH.

Yeah, I'm not the poster girl for Womens Lib, I know. He put me off saying a bloke he worked with had a thing about bfing women, and that he wasn't the only one.

So, I was looking for advice about Kegel balls and came across a relevant post. Seems DH was right! Not that I'd ever admit it.

www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/1754644-lactating/

I have no idea if that link has copied properly and, as it's my first post here, not even sure I'm allowed to mention that site. But for women who think that breasts are non-sexual after giving birth, I think you may be shocked to learn that some people feel differently.

But babies don’t view breasts as sedual, they view them as food. And you’re breastfeeding for your baby, not for anyone else.

Are you sure your husband is better than your ex? Sounds like a bit of a dick to me.

People get their sexual thrills from seeing all sorts of things. You could be walking down the high street in sweatpants, a zipped up hoody, messy hair, no make up, two days since your last shower and I can 100% guarantee there will be someone on that high street who will find that sort of thing sexy and will store that image in their mental wank-bank for later.

But none of us is party to what goes on inside other people's heads so what I prefer to do is to live my life and choose the things I want to do without giving any thought to what might be going on in the heads of the people are me. Unless someone whips their tackle out in the middle of the café and starts rubbing one out while staring at me breastfeeding then I couldn't give two tin shits (and even then, it wouldn't make me give up breastfeeding).

Why should I let what other people might be thinking stop me from doing what I choose to do?

Your DH is a dickhead.

“I bf at home, but not out. DH didn't want me to so I didn't. It was easier to give in and I still pick my battles carefully after the hell I went through with my EXH.”

You’re setting yourself up for another lot of hell with this DH to be honest.......

On my planet, Chocolatecoffeeaddict, breasts exist primarily to feed babies and the husbands, fathers, brothers and sons who love on it with me understand that.

I’d be embarrassed my husband was trying to get an eyeful of a random woman’s boobs while she was feeding her baby. You know, it that happened.

“You're from another planet if you think it's normal behaviour to sit in public with your tits fully out.”

I don’t think,it’s normal behaviour. But, you see, I also don’t think it happpened.

No, he isn't. He's a bit of an old-fashioned gent who gives his seat up on public transport and opens doors. Before anyone jumps on that, he has many qualities that I love and he's kind and supportive to me and my daughter. We have tiffs usually caused by my over-sensitivities that are a throwback to my previous life.

I've been married nearly 25 years and I've never thought of leaving him. I dreamed every day of leaving my EXH until I finally got away from him with the help of a Refuge.

He's a bloke that works with a lot of others. Some are pretty freaky when it comes to their turn-ons. A lot are disrespectful of women, especially to the few they work with, even though they come across as happily married, decent blokes when you meet them out and about.

I can see his point as I would not want to be perved over while out bfing. My EXH was a perve. Lactating wasn't his kink, but he had many others, some of which still turn my stomach to think about.

Again, I'm still over-sensitive even after all these years. I'm obviously not as brave as women who do bf away from home and can see the point of view of others who might feel uncomfortable doing it for their own reasons.

Bullying others who may be uncomfortable to bf in public and disregarding the feelings of the partner or other family members (oddly enough my father was shocked when my sister bf away from home - he worked in the same industry as my DH), is pretty unpleasant.

My DH was a little bit prudish at first but accepted it was his issue. DS is now 16 months and DH is totally fine with me whipping out a boob when required, DS's head is in the way anyway, and he won't tolerate a scarf over his face,

I'm sorry onion but your post makes me feel a little but depressed. Its just wrong on so many levels.

I hope it's for the same reasons I get depressed and not because I made my DH sound like a bit of a jerk, even though he isn't.

'Dh is totally fine with it' . So it's fine for men to whip out their cocks and urinate in public - left right and centre but no breasts allowed.

Not bf outside of the home because (your DH says) men might perve is just another example of a woman being controlled by men. I find that really depressing.

Not everyone likes to disregard their partners feelings.

I'm not controlled by my DH but I don't want to be perved over.

I'd rather be aware that there are men out there like that than be blissfully unaware.

Maybe you have to have had a bad experience with them to understand the revulsion.

Oh onion- please think about whether he is being controlling in other ways.

You didn't say at first that you "didn't want to be peeves over. You said "didn't want me to so I didn't. It was easier to give in"

Yanbu. Breastfeed however you want to, you're doing a great job. I always find it quite nice to see a baby being bfd, why should women hide?