to not 'cover up' when breastfeeding even though DH wants me to?

[PizzaPlanet2]

My opinion: Nobody cares about seeing a flash of nipple (and if they do they're idiots) and I shouldn't have to sit with a muslin or blanket over my baby's head. It's just a boob...

DH opinion: it's not appropriate for anyone to see my boob. Thinks I should cover up and nobody has any business seeing my nipple.

WIBU to ignore his opinion and just do what I want? I don't see why I have to cover up and faff with muslins etc.

Opinions?

Since this comes up on every public breastfeeding thread:

Discreet: careful not to cause embarrassment or attract too much attention, especially by keeping something secret.

Discrete: individually separate and distinct.

You know what, Husky? I don't believe you. Sue me.

@Huskylover1 I find it hard to believe that someone takes top and bra off in public🤥

@BertrandRussell
Snap!!

When your husband can take a turn being pregnant, giving birth and breastfeeding a baby then he might get a say. Otherwise ignore and carry on.

I’ve never seen anyone bf in the way described by Huskylover, and I’ve spent time with lots of bfers. As another poster said, surely the other boob would have been leaking? In my case, it would have been spraying out like a bloody shower head once the let-down kicked in.

Yanbu

Tis true! She's the only person I've ever seen breastfeed this way, thank goodness.

Well I breastfed DS - never used a cover of any sort and absolutely positive nobody ever saw a flash of nipple or boob - it’s really quite possible to feed discreetly.

I think I would be slightly tempted to wave said boob about, go oops drop muslin and let both boobs go free.

@MaryShelley1818 - not for all as some are not compliant!

Really, Husky? So what about all the other people you mention in your post - “And, I can see how he would be uncomfortable if you are sitting with your boobs out, in front of his mates. I think it depends on what you are actually doing? Are you trying to be discrete at all, or just whopping them out for all to see?”

Or are they just another product of your fevered imagination?

@husky so she was a 32E but didn't wear a bra? Or she pulled her entire bra down as well as her top? Yeeeeeah.

Free the boob I say!

In my experience people don't often notice breastfeeding mothers. They tend to just look as if they are cuddling their baby.

I have a very dim view of male partners who believe their female partners breasts 'belong' to them, and they get to dictate how she feeds her child.

And I'm also very disbelieving of all these women who strip to the waist to breastfeed, especially in public.

Tbh, someone at baby group used to do 'display feeding' as we christened it. Shirt completely unbutton, bra undone and wide open, cross legged in the middle of the floor with an arched back and a big performance made each time. No idea if she did similar elsewhere, but constantly looking around to see if anyone was watching. It was a bit bloody strange. Everyone else just sat around and fed however, whenever. Odd, but it happens.

I bf my Dc everywhere and anywhere, and the only time anyone ever paid the slightest notice was on a hot day on the S Bank when I popped into the cool shade of the QEH foyer to sit down and feed, and a woman approached me with a glass of cold water. Which was hugely appreciated.

Never any adverse reaction at all. Neither my bf friends or I ever ‘had our breasts out’ in front of anyone’s mates, or anyone.

I actually think it is a sign of dysfunction or less than healthy attitudes to make a fuss about anyone bf under any circumstances.

Which is not to say that any woman should not make the choices she herself is comfortable with.

im wondering how people ‘make a show’ of breastfeeding?
A mum at school always wears corset-like tops and pushes her boobs out the top so the nipple points straight up. Then she balances her baby on the top. It ain't subtle but it is amazing. (And I completely defend her right to do this, just never seen anyone breastfeed that way!)

husky nah sorry, I don't believe you. Theres always performance feeders on these threads, never seen one irl.

Tbf i don't think you should have to be discreet about breastfeeding, if you want to of course absolutely fine but if your comfortable just 'whopping them out' go for it. If that makes me uncomfortable that's my problem. It's literally only boob, its mostly baby anyway even if they are both out

I really dislike men who think women's boobs are their property. It doesn't matter if they find them sexually attractive they don't belong to them and it's a bit possessive to be uncomfortable with other people seeing them in a breastfeeding situation. Jusy because men find a part of your body sexually attractive doesmt mean its a sexual part of your body.

For example I like my DPs chest, he has a great upper body but I don't get uncomfortable with other people seeing it on the beach. Everyone would think I was very odd if I said "do must keep his shirt on when swimming because I like his chest and therefore it's unacceptable for others to see it". It's purely about policing women's bodies.

Also don’t believe the 32E topless breastfeeding story.

And I think you should do whatever you’re comfortable with. Your husband is being ridiculous.

Why would I lie about that? 32E friend does exist, and did certainly do what I described. She also (pre-kids) would regularly "fall" out of dresses, or wear see through stuff. Very attention seeking and extremely uncomfortable. She is now 50 and this stuff does not happen anymore perhaps due to age and also the fact that she is now about a B cup after breastfeeding

I’ve never needed to flash my nipple or breast when nursing in public. Breasts ARE sexual, their sexuality may be second to their ability to feed a baby but that doesn’t mean you can ignore the sexual aspect.

Vest top underneath a looser top shirt, pop the baby on your breast and nobody sees anything, nobody has a sheet over their head and nobody has to feel embarrassed. It’s not that hard. No idea why people
Feel the need to be exhibitionists.

Personally think YABU, I really don't mind people breastfeeding without a cover it's perfectly natural and not a problem because once the baby is on you can't see anything but why do I need to see you nipples whilst I'm eating whilst you sort your self out?. I was once at a restaurant and a woman sat there with her nipple out whilst she burped her baby.... just not normal behaviour

Obviously you don't have to cover up but he's entitled to his opinion surely even if you don't agree.

@GreatDuckCookery absolutely. But his opinion is that his say should be the final say...

@someonekillbabyshark you could just... not look?