"We earn too much for any help"

[Zootrebilis]

Good morning!

Expecting to be flamed for posting this but I need to get it off my chest. I've noticed people moaning that they don't get any "financial help" when they're part of a high income household. I've listed two examples but have many more:

1. A facebook group I'm part of: A lady posted moaning her and her husband don't receive tax credits and was there a way if getting any! She said he's on a very high wage and she works part time but he spends too much and she can't see where his money goes! So basically she wants tax credits because her husband likes spending. Another poster replied moaning her husband earns over the threshold for child benefit as well!

1. Someone I know who is actually a nice person: her husband earns 50k per year minimum (I know because she told us at the time) and she works part time. She was saying it's ridiculous that they don't receive tax credits as they could really do with it.

I just don't get it!!! Surely if they wanted more combined income they should work full time instead of part time (a choice in person 2s case as they have free childcare 3 days per week). I know childcare is expensive. I was a single parent until recently. I had to rely on tax credits for a bit to top up my wages which I hated. They were such uncertain times but I'm so so grateful that kind of help was there when I was alone and poor (my son was conceived by rape). I've worked hard to earn a management role in a sector I love where I get to help people. I earn 22k, partner on minimum wage and we have 2 kids between us. I wouldn't expect financial help in my situation so I don't know why others do! I'm 28 so I'm not of a different generation to them or anything.

Sorry just wanted to get it off my chest!!!

Less than 15% of tax payers pay tax at higher than basic rate.

I get that but child care costs aren't forever, only when your dc are young and even me, who is on less than half of those in the 40% tax bracket still pay council tax and bills..

You're right that it's inequality that makes people disatisfied not poverty. We should be angry that some earn so much and some so little but some perspective is needed when we regard ourselves as 'poor'. If you ever seen genuine poverty you'll realise how well off we are here, even those of us who are well below average. But seriously, crying because you can't have a second child?? Can't she just be happy with the one she has? I've just got one child and a modest life but I'm genuinely happy l. Every day I count my blessings and am grateful. I think it's a choice to be disatisfied and I'm afraid don't have much sympathy for someone who thinks they deserve more children. Btw I'm a carer for someone with a spinal injury and let me tell you her daily struggles put most people's into perspective!

You might not feel well off but objectively you are well off. Being around people with similar circumstances makes you ‘feel’ like you’re struggling because they are likely earning the same or more than you. If you lived and worked with the other 85% of the population you’d feel less hard done by.

I think it's that old notion of "step into someone else's shoes who are worse off and you'll come out feeling richer.."

Those in the 40% tax bracket need to live in the shoes of a low earner (and not necessarily less hard working) for a few months. I bet they would never complain again about their income/lack of "benefit help"....

I think many find it hard to watch others be handed money for doing nothing or working the minimum hours they can get away with.

However the outcomes for children raised on benfits aren't as good as those not quite why anybody would want to claim is strange.

I work full time. People on tax credits, single parents in particular, are doing nothing or minimal hours.

*aren't

It is subjective you are right and I feel your pain re not seeing your dc due to work as I often have the same heartache..

I think each case should be judged on its own merit rather than generalising.

I earn over the tax threshold, but to do so I have to pay 2.5 k per month on childcare. So technically I have nothing left after paying this each month and we live off the other salary which is less than mine. We have nothing left at the end of each month without factoring in savings, birthdays, holidays etc.

I accept that I choose to do this, as there are long term personal and financial benefits of staying employed in my current role in my industry for the next few years. That being said I would probably be better off in the immediate circumstances working less and seeing what additional support is available.

I believe if you can work, you should, but sometimes think that just because you have a medium to high level income all support disappears and it is harder to manage than people may realise.

We would have qualified for some tax credits when dd was born but I didn’t claim as we didn’t need it and the whole process was daunting- there were endless stories of people being overpaid and then having the money clawed back. Now we wouldn’t come close to qualifying as the limits are much tighter. Childcare is terribly expensive and I can understand people finding it tough if they have multiple nursery fees to pay. But incomes of £50k+ are enough to manage on. I agree with the pp saying foreign holidays can be cheaper, the UK is the most expensive place I’ve ever holidayed! And the image of people living it large on benefits is a myth. Ok, a family may appear to have disposable income (although having just signed on for my £73.10 JSA) I doubt it. But how can you compare someone living in rented accommodation with help from housing benefit with someone paying a mortgage? It may look like the former has more money to spend, but the latter will end up with a valuable asset so who is better off? And people go on about new phones etc, but it is usually cheaper to get a contract where you get your phone upgraded regularly than to buy a phone outright. Some people just wouldn’t be happy unlesss they see people on benefits back in the workhouse eating gruel.

Sounds like her husband is controlling the money. I bet she struggles for money

We are classed as 'high earners'. I think there's a lack of understanding from higher earners and lower earners on each other's situations.

Some higher earners view people who claim benefits as living a life of luxury, whilst being fairly lazy being paid for by them. 🙄 Although there are a few who play the system the vast majority are either working hard or are struggling to find work. Blame Some media outlets etc for whipping up the hatred.

On the other hand people who may be struggling on benefits think people on £50000 per year are absolutely rolling in money and should have money for everything. The people on lower wages/no wage base this on their own outgoings though. My mum used to think we should be saving £2000 per month. She had no clue that our mortgage, on a very normal house, was hundreds. She had help with her rent and when she did pay rent it was a very small amount compared to our mortgage. She worked locally as her job was unskilled and she could find work very close so her travel costs were minimal, in comparison to ours, which are hundreds.

I would never complain, we are very fortunate but when you have a mortgage/no help with rent, huge travel costs to get to your 'high earning job', it soon goes.

As far as I'm concerned benefits in my life are a "necessary evil" not a "desireable"

I can't wait to earn enough to be off them completely... Literally cannot f-Ing wait! It will be the happiest day of my life but as a single parent I don't see it happening any time soon

My DF is a high earner and it's only fairly recently I have stopped viewing him as "rich" and seen him as what he is- middle class and financially stable.
I no longer expect him to help me financially if he lends me money I pay it back. I know his disposable income is far greater than mine but money does not go that far... I understand that between a mortgage and a pension and his wife pet other kids etc. That money does not stretch far. I used to think he was made of money. I know he is not. He's just hardworking and careful and I do not get to cruise on his credit rating, I have to find my own way.

Bumble that's exactly how I feel

To me, anyone who earns enough money to support themselves without any benefit help (and I don't mean living the life of riley) is very very fortunate, even if they don't feel like that.

I know @CiderBrains I don't think they understand the struggle. I know they have struggles of their own but they are in denial if they think benefits are "easy"

I have had to fight tooth and nail for any assistance I receive and UC is a bastard.

I understand that money doesn't always equal easier or happier but my aim is to earn enough to support myself without help. To be able to work as much overtime as I please to earn extra without the worry of it affecting fucking tax credits. To feel "free" and live a completely independent life financially is heaven to me. One day I will get there..

We, as a family are not entitled to claim anything including child benefit and before I get flamed I totally agree with this. We manage on what we get but I have to agree with pp and I think the system is completely unfair. I am a sahm with 2 small children, that's fine with me as it would have cost us more in childcare for 2 children than I would have been able to earn and I have no family close by who could help. Because of this my husband works very long hours, usually between 65 and 75 per week, which is hard for both of us but it enables me to stay at home with the children. He is usually just over the threshold so we're not entitled to anything (which as i said before is fine with us). I obviously don't earn anything as I'm not working but our neighbours are both in good jobs working 38 hr weeks and bringing in £87,000 between them. They are obviously entitled to claim as they are both below the threshold. I do think it's unfair that as a household they bring in more money but we are not entitled to anything. Most people think my husband is on a good wage, which he is, but by the time you've taken out tax, national insurance, petrol (he spends £175 a week on petrol as he works a long way from home) and an occasional stay over in a travel lodge as he's too shattered to travel the 90mile journey home (after a 12 hour day and a 3hour commute) it soon dwindles. We also put money in savings as he can be out of work once or twice a year because of the business he's in and we don't want to struggle when a job comes to an end. That is also a problem because when he's out of work he's not entitled to claim dole because we have savings. The system just doesn't seem to encourage people to work and save. As I've said previously I'm not saying we should be entitled to anything, I don't think we should, but I do think there's lots of people out there receiving hand outs that also shouldn't be getting them. I'm happy that his tax gets used for people who are really struggling and need a hand up but I think there's too many who know exactly how to work the system for maximum benefit. It needs a massive overhaul imo.

I think it's very easy for everyone to live in their own bubble and not understand the difficulties of others. I think people should not be so judgemental of others unless you have personally experienced what they are going through. I have no idea of what an income of £50k+ would be like nor the responsibilities that go along with it and therefore could not comment on that.
I have personally always been on a low income, my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents etc have always been on low incomes living on council estates. I was very fortunate as a child that I went to a 'decent' grammar school & did relatively well in comparison to my cousins and have always done admin work. My cousins dont have any drive or desire to do better than their parents, or maybe it's because it's all they know and so don't work/work in minimum wage jobs, whereas my mum has always pushed me & my sister's to do better. My cousins are on benefits but I don't envy them or judge their choices. Although I have always worked I became a single parent at a young age & have always relied on tc's to top up my earnings & pay for childcare. I know some will not see this as being fair as they haven't had help with childcare costs, but the alternative would be to not work & still receive benefits anyway. I'm very grateful for the help I've received and see it as an investment in myself and my children. Thanks to the help I received (including the nhs bursary which has now been scrapped!) I was able to go to university as a mature student & have now just qualified as a midwife. As I am still a single parent I still continue to receive help with childcare costs due to my salary & I am grateful for the help. My children have seen the hard work I have put in over the last 3 years and know the importance of education & I do my best with what I have to provide a stable life for them in the hope they will go on to do better than me. I look to a future when I will hopefully begin to earn more as I progress in my new career & will not be reliant on top ups. I am now paying taxes and putting back into the system that supported me when I needed help.
As women we should be helping each other up instead of belittling or putting each other down...you never know when you might need a hand x