I'm currently I'll with a virus. I look like shit. Yesterday I only took a shower. I didn't wash my hair. It was greasy and simply scraped into a ponytail. I put no makeup on and wore my ugliest slouchiest clothing for comfort. I was bloated and gassy. I was miserable and had a face like a slapped arse and a moody temperament.
You know what my DH said?
"I know you feel crap darling, but you look incredible... If you weren't feeling so ill I'd bonk your brains out!"
When my DH and I met 10 yrs ago I was slimmer, younger (obvs!), had my hair done on a regular basis, loved fashion, wore more makeup, had my nails done every fortnight. Made a big effort on my appearance every day. Went to the gym regularly.
But then we had kids, got married, bought a house and my money and time had to be refirected to less selfish, higher priority things.
I am therefore not as slim. I have my hair cut into a simple low maintenance style twice a year. I wear the bare minimum of makeup just to cover my dark circles and blemishes. I last had my nails done 4 years ago for my wedding. I have no time, money or energy for the gym. I have cellulite, a big arse and stretch marks from having kids. I can't be arsed with clothes shopping so rarely buy new clothes. And I'm showing my age.
My DH still fancies the arse off me. He's more of a bloody sex pest now than when we first met! He's always telling me I'm his "fit bird!"
When you love someone, you love all of them. My DH is truthful when I have my low-confidence days, he has said "Yeah you're not the same weight as when we first met, but you're still sexy as f*ck girl!"
I've met manipulative men who do the whole "you're gorgeous, but... I don't like your hair like that ...don't wear that dress again it doesn't suit you... maybe a boob job might help... it's not very ladylike to eat that/drink that/say that/do that"
Men like that were dropped instantly.