He said he preferred me slimmer...:-(

[Autvet]

Slept with an old flame this week... after he said he preferred me slimmer and when I painted my nails etc etc ( I’ve put a couple of stone on since last seen him , mostly down to comfort eating if I’m honest as life has been very difficult recently). Now he’s apologetic because I’m upset ! I can’t get over this comment though ... and don’t want to see him again.. it’s really really upset me ... AIBU?:-(((

As I said, I feel sorry for these people

I have to be honest, it comes across more you're being passive aggressive and are pissed off people don't think a twelve on a taller woman is always slim.

You don’t need to feel sorry for me Petbear I’m nearly 6 ft and a size 8-10.

I didn’t say size 12 wasn’t slim I said it wasn’t that slim. It partly depends how tall you are.

British men and women have one of the highest BMIs in Europe, so size 12 seems comparatively slim to you.

How fucking dare he? I imagine you preferred him when he was politer.

Not everyone is more attractive slimmer

Indeed. Too thin and I just look gaunt. Same is true for many people.

Wow! Well at least you know now he doesn’t look at women like people, just toys to be enjoyed by him and put on this earth to look a certain way for his benefit.

Run.

I have to be honest, it comes across more you're being passive aggressive and are pissed off people don't think a twelve on a taller woman is always slim. confused
It comes across that way to me too. Of course, some people can be a size 12 and a healthy weight, and others can be a size 12 and overweight, at the same height. I wouldn't equate a healthy weight with slim though, there is a middle ground between slim and overweight.

Dripfeeding is frustrating as posters start responding to the OP one way only be derailed by further information bombs way further down the thread. It's possible to get your point across and be concise about it.

Lizzie normal weight BMI is 18.5 - 25 not 21 -25.

She asked if she was a disappointment. There is plenty of scope there to not be an arsehole without lying.

Admittedly I don't know much about women's sizing but I recently read that Marilyn Monroe (often lauded as an example of a 'curvy' woman) would be size 8 by today's sizes.

I suspect that was due to proportions as much as anything, small waist Vs big boobs etc. So she was both slim, but curvy. Minefield 😂

I read Marilyn Monroe was 5'6 and 120lbs (8st 8), so a BMI under 20. She was definitely curvy, by it's original meaning, before it became a euphemism.

What I really don't understand today is the whole megabooty thing where celebrities modify their bums to look like there's a pillow stuffed down the seat of their pants.

My advice to you is work on your confidence before you go looking for a relationship. Until you have done that you run the risk of attracting another twat like this one. Learn to love yourself, warts and all.

YABU if you asked him a question or intimated something that required him to respond, and when he did you didn't like it. Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer, and definitely dont fish for compliments when your not sure how it's gonna turn out.

I used to share a house with a very blunt Russian girl. I learnt very quickly not to ask her opinion!

"I'm sorry to say that your belly looks bigger in that jumper!"

It definitely motivated me to cut down on the cheeky pints after work!

The issue isn’t that he preferred the OP slimmer. It’s that she’s a healthy weight now & he preferred her underweight. Aghast the amount of people here that don’t understand how damaging it would be to be with someone like that.