To be really angry my DD took my coffee on a weekend away, without asking?

[AdoreTheBeach]

I’m an early riser. I have sleep issues (wake up and can’t get back to sleep), so I follow a fairly strict sleep hygiene routine. That includes no caffeine after 10am. I also have digestion issues and diverticulitis so I need to be “regular”, which routine includes my morning coffee. I look forward to my lovely huge mug of coffee every morning. This morning, it’s gone. Extra large jar of Dow Egbert coffee is gone. Hard to miss a jar that size. My DD left last night for a weekend away with friends, renting a large self-catering house. Dare I suspect she’s the culprit? If so, AIBU to me REALLY angry with her? (FYI, looked in bin and recycling just in case accidentally broken - not there).

This isn’t just about coffee. It’s about the bloody selfish entitlement of some young adults who think they can just help themselves to our stuff.

I hear you OP, I’ve had various versions of this and it’s infuriating. I’m my case it’s usually some piece of equipment and mostly it will be returned not working properly and requiring me to dismantle and fix it.

YANBU AT ALL.

It's fine to get angry. What her daughter did was wrong and selfish.
However sometimes staying angry blows the situation way out of proportion. If the op stays angry it will also ruin her entire day.

Can't you just go to the shop and buy a tub of instant coffee?
Slightly irritating yes, but definitely unreasonable to be so irrationally angry about some coffee which is easily replaceable. It's not like she took your car to drive there for the weekend

Annoying yes anger inducing no. Bit thoughtless but I don't imagine for minute she realises how vital that morning coffee is to your frankly weird routine. If your body is relying on that caffeine in order to work then maybe she's done you a favour!!

My dd does this. She's a coffee magpie and far too tight of.arse to buy her own !!

BabySharkAteMyHamster you know what to get your daughter for Christmas then

Juells that's why I put "snob" in inverted commas. I don't think people who buy this as opposed to instant are snobs. The two are not mutually exclusive.

But I'm sick of people making comments on the OPs choice of coffee and no, I'm not trying to boast in the internet how much I know about coffee either. Those rushing to condemn the OP for having instant doesn't make them any more superior in their tastes was my point.

Yanbu
My dd is 22
I completely get it

Ignore the coffee snobs who are missing the point. The fact is your dd has acted thoughtlessly and actually rather rudely, given that she’s an adult lucky enough to be living in your house. I would speak to her about it on her return and tell her how disappointed you are in her inconsiderate behaviour.

Don't buy a coffee machine, buy an Aeropress.

www.amazon.co.uk/Aerobie-AeroPress-Coffee-Eco-friendly-Packaging/dp/B0047BIWSK/ref=sr_1_9?s=kitchen&keywords=aeropress&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1541856319&sr=1-9

A jar of instant isnt nice coffee get yourself a french press and some lavazza

Why does she still live with you

What on earth does that have to do with anything

why does she live with you
What the bloody hell has that for to do with anything?
OP I'd be annoyed, I think taking anything without asking is very bad form, it doesn't matter if it's 'just coffee'.

I would be bloody furious too!

I get really grumpy if i cant get a decent espresso lol didnt realise i was a coffe snob just brought up in the nineties when going to costa coffee was the height of sophistication now its hipster places which are to be fair lovely

I'd be pissed off too!

She's your daughter.
Yes it was a bit selfish, but get another jar of coffee. Tell her the other is now hers to keep and you love her but next time please ask before taking your things.
She was probably in a big rush and didn't think. She will get the message.
But you have a choice to tell her kindly and with love or to be a grumpy and naggy about it.
There's probably bigger issues for you to argue about but a jar of coffee is not worth all this.

I see the hard of reading have missed this bit I also have digestion issues and diverticulitis so I need to be “regular”, which routine includes my morning coffee.

I'd be beyond furious too.

Let us know what she has to say for herself when she returns.

You can't beat a thread like this to bring out all the people who have decided that the OP's problem isn't really that her daughter has been thoughtless, but rather that a) her tastebuds are 'wrong' and she should like something else b) she has been waiting for some stranger on the internet to inform her of the existence of cafetieres, aero-presses and every other coffee gadget known to man and will gratefully reform her coffee drinking habit instantly c) she shouldn't care because other people don't even like instant coffee or are just as happy with tea or d) her complaint about the disruption of her routine could be solved by completely changing her routine to include an unplanned trip to the shops!

OP - that sounds annoying, especially as I imagine she has some idea that your morning routine has a little more resting on it than just a preference. Even if she's left you a spoonful in a mug it would have showed a little empathy and understanding. I suggest a half-joking abusive text, some stern words on her return and a secret stash in future.

Have you messaged her to ask why she stole your coffee? It's very cheeky and thoughtless of her.

Is she usually selfish and thoughtless?

If not,

I’m very angry at the selfishness of it actually.

seems a huge overreaction.

Going to the shop to get more coffee provides an immediate solution to help the op continue to be 'regular'.
Its not ideal..but it de escalates the situation. Then the op can deal with her daughter.
Is that not a logical process?

There's a line in a cartoon the kids watch: "You have youth, we have coffee!". She should have shared it out. 'Angry' is a bit strong though. I'd probably just feel a bit sorry for myself.