Sad step mum

[Mentalhealthworries]

Another night of sitting in my car in the terrible weather while DH and his kids enjoy tea at home.
I can’t bear it. Life as a step mum really sucks! Don’t do it if you have a choice.

Why are you not having tea with them?

The kids fight with each other and really play up. It’s just too stressful.

Erm why arent you with them?

That's what some kids do. They fight and play up.

Do you always go out while they eat?

Your username suggests there may be a bit more to it OP?

Sorry that’s your problem not theirs. You, I would assume, knew he had children when you married him. If you’re going to call yourself a step mum I’m afraid you have to man up and do some parenting.

If you have exiled yourself because you find it hard to be around them due to them playing up then YABU and you should get yourself in there and start building up a decent relationship.

I assume this is your home with your dh. Why are you excluded?

It can't be just because the kids fight and if they do, your DP should be disciplining them.

Eh? Unless there is more to your story then this isn't a step family issue as far as I can see.

I will not be parenting them, they are young adults and don’t need a third parent. They act like children. Building relationships was abandoned after five years of fruitless trying.

You still parent young adults. Sorry you’re their step mother and you’re sitting in the car while they enjoy a family dinner. Ridiculous.

If you don't parent them, at all, and leave when they are there, you aren't a step mum. You are their dad's wife.

Sounds like a shit Friday night 😔 where are you? If you're in the area you're welcome to come have pizza with us - Horsham, West Sussex

Presumably you are sitting in the car of your own free will because you can't bear having the meal with them?

It seems very strange.

Step mum or dad’s wife what does it matter? It’s just a name. Yes I’m their dad’s wife but they are in my house bickering like 5 years olds.

It’s not that strange, I prefer to sit alone in my car with a Tesco sandwich than listen to two young adults act like children while their father overlooks it. It sucks but it’s better than being with them.

If it's your home you have a right to be in it... I presume you have more than one room?

Then tell them to stop. You’re an adult and it’s your home. If my husband went and sat in the car while we had a meal and did this regularly I’d leave him.

You are complaining they are enjoying tea while you sit alone in the rain but at the same time also they are bickering and it's awful.

Honestly sitting in the car is ridiculous if it's this bad there really needs to be a change.

I wish he would leave me and take his kids with him!

Out your big girl pants on and go home. You're just as bad going off in a sulk like a child.

For ffs just leave then. This is absurd.

I can relate. I often used to delay going home.

I suspect the less helpful comments are from those who haven’t been in this position. You can feel like a stranger in your own home.