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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not wear panty liners every day?

905 replies

Sammysees · 07/11/2018 14:21

Tbh this is a complete new one for me. Was having a conversation with a friend yesterday who wears panty liners every day and has done since she was 15. I’d never heard of this before and told her so. She told me I was a manky minge Grin and that everybody wore them. Is this true? Thoughts please ....

OP posts:
ContessaGoesMarchingDOWNTOHELL · 07/11/2018 22:47

I seem to have a need of them due to discharge volume Blush so yes, everyday. I've always wondered why the shops don't have loads more in stock tbh; this explains a lot!

I have just ordered reusable ones (already have a mooncup) so will see how that goes :)

catsmother · 07/11/2018 22:55

@Perverse ... I've also been reassured by HCPs of various persausions that my discharge is normal in as much that there's no underlying cause for concern or infection etc. But as I said previously, and others have said the same too, it's not the smell I'm concerned about but the potential - well, certainty, most of the time - that my outer clothing will be stained because the amount of 'normal' discharge I usually produce seeps through my gusset to put it plainly! That's horribly embarrassing, and would also lead to ridiculous amounts of laundry - I'm not a particularly sweaty person so could easily wear a pair of jeans half a dozen times, unless their crotch had been affected by discharge and I would of course then want to wash them! I can assure you that liners are necessary for me.

heroineinahalfshell · 07/11/2018 23:03

I have always had very heavy discharge throughout the month so if I don't wear liners I just feel wet all the time. Discovered washable liners last year tho and so now wear those daily instead of nasty sanpro ones. My DH hates them (says they're like I'm wearing nappies) but I can't go without or I'm uncomfortable.

madcatladyforever · 07/11/2018 23:04

I used to wear them everyday but the last few years have stopped and really they are unecessary. I think as women we are conditioned to believe that any kind of mnimal discharge is disgusting. As I don't wear white trousers 24/7 I don't see the need and nothing ever comes through.

user838383 · 07/11/2018 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slapdasherie · 07/11/2018 23:06

I just think what some women class as excessive discharge is classed as normal by others.

Or maybe some women are different.
And just a word of warning to all the Eww Yuck crowd, things can change over your lifetime.
Only started needing to wear them in my 50s, so yes I do know the difference between normal and excessive discharge.

MrMakersFartyParty · 07/11/2018 23:09

God vaginas need to breathe! How gross to have it smothered all day by a liner.

MrMakersFartyParty · 07/11/2018 23:10

And I don't mean everyone who needs them is gross, I actually have to wear one really frequently as I bleed most days (endo) but I feel gross and wouldn't wear one unless I had to.

Jaxhog · 07/11/2018 23:14

Good Heavens, really? I had no idea women did this! I can understand doing it during periods, but for the rest of the time changing pants everyday is enough surely?

ManchesterMum63 · 07/11/2018 23:21

Dribbly😂Foof

ohreallyohreallyoh · 07/11/2018 23:24

changing pants everyday is enough surely?

There are over 400 comments on this thread, of which a significant portion have explained why changing pants every day isn’t enough. Are you deliberately ignoring all those posts or do you think we’re all lying?

DontMakeMeShushYou · 07/11/2018 23:25

I wonder if everyone of the women shrieking about the impact on the environment have done elimination communication with their babies instead of using those beastly, unnecessary nappies?

Huh? How weirdly passive-aggressive. I expect they just used washable nappies.

vdbfamily · 07/11/2018 23:30

StarUtopia they are from Cheekywipes. They have a popper which holds them around gusset and can be folded into a little square after whilst awaiting washing.No perfume and no landfill. Great discovery.

PerryPerryThePlatypus · 07/11/2018 23:38

If I was stuck on a short staffed shift and couldn't change my soaked underwear I would become sore and raw, its happened before. So there's my choice. Taking a break every hour or so to change my underwear, become sore from wearing soaked underwear or use a panty liner.

And yes I shower and change my knickers everyday. How fucking insulting.

Trillis · 08/11/2018 00:30

Like many others have said, some women have excessive discharge. I have, and I hate it. Some of you will be horrified as I've always had to wear liners, but it has been a lot worse since I became peri menopausal. I now wear 2 long liners a day and frequently have to change them at night too when the liners are 'full'. I have seen the doctor and nurse many times over the last few years but they can't find anything wrong and say it's just one of those things. I keep going back though, as I'm still hoping they will find something they can treat.

For those questioning whether 'excessive' discharge is actually excessive, in my case it's when you can feel the discharge pouring out, often when I stand up, and having to go to the loo to check, in case it has leaked through your clothes (the goo can be quite thick so it takes longer to absorb). It's when the extra large liner you remove after a day or half day has grown to about 1cm thick as it's holding so much 'goo'. It's when you have to change full, wet pads throughout the day or get sore from sitting in permanent damp.

I'm sorry if this is too graphic, but as someone said upthread, noone ever talks about this stuff. All of you who who think people are gross and smelly for wearing pads just don't seem to understand that the discharge really would go right through knickers and clothes and leave a permanent, visible wet patch. And you get sore from sitting in wet all day. I realise I'm probably a lot worse than most, hence the doctor visits, but there's a whole spectrum of 'excessive' and those of us who have to put up with it feel bad enough about it, without others seemingly trying to shame us for wearing the pads we need to contain it.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 08/11/2018 00:52

I've never worn these. I don't get on with pads as I'm a wriggler so I doubt panty liners would stay put in my pants!

I also have fairly heavy discharge and I'm thrush prone. I can't think of anything worse than an extra, synthetic, probably non breathable liner in my pants. I recall pads making everything feel stale & clammy and imagine they're different really.

Also huge waste of money & likeky not v eco friendly imo. But if she likes them and feels the need, that's her choice.

PandorasBag · 08/11/2018 01:08

As for sex don’t most people go and freshen up etc first? Then they can get rid of the liner and have nice clean underwear!

This is a bit like the penis beaker.

Sample Dialogue.

''How about it then?'
'Gosh good idea. I too am feeling full of spontaneous lust. Please excuse me for ten minutes so I can go for a shower, clean and floss my teeth and then I shall return to you in suitably clean knickers and a state of heightened readiness.

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 08/11/2018 01:12

Im 42 ... i need to wear them now .

I have no quibbles because a) my vagina breathes at night b) i use washables , black ones that match my knickers.

Lots of things come out of my vagina , for eg:
Bath water
Jiz
Mucous
Blood
Wee

So yes i find it reassuring to be able to change my pad during the day to avoid odours of the above .

ThereGoesTheAlarm · 08/11/2018 01:12

Got thrush just thinking about this thread tbh.

BakedBeans47 · 08/11/2018 01:15

I don’t but I know some women do

PandorasBag · 08/11/2018 01:16

Does the bath water take a long time to run out?

When my waters broke before childbirth it all took longer than I expected. But even if I bathed in the morning rather than at night I'd rather expect that by the time I'd towelled myself dry the bathwater would be gone.

I know other people's bodies vary, but I am beginning to think that not all Mumsnetters are actually the same species.

penisbeakers · 08/11/2018 01:21

I tried wearing one for a few days, and all that happened was they got crinkled up and wonky in me mingeflaps, defeating the object entirely. That was when they weren’t getting displaced and stuck to me arse instead. So anyway, fuck pantyliners.

CarolsSecretCookieRecipe · 08/11/2018 01:49

Trillis
I can relate to much of what you say. You are definitely not alone.

thighofrelief · 08/11/2018 01:53

All comments on fannies should be taken as compliments.

Dribbly - thank you, I've decided to cultivate bean sprouts in my knickers
Capacious - why thank you, it's handy for carrying my packed lunch
Retention of bath water - wonderful, saves on hot water bottles
Stinky - thanks for noticing, I'm developing organic fly repellent
Hairy - well of course I'm doing my bit, solar panels only go so far

Rachelover40 · 08/11/2018 01:59

'Discharge' is quite different from normal vaginal secretions which are natural cleansers for the vagina. Sometimes we get more than other times and I appreciate how many people feel wet in the course of a day.

(A 'discharge' is not normal. I recognise many use the word 'discharge' for vaginal secretions.)

Wearing knickers that have a fairly thick cotton gusset should suffice. I won't talk about changing them every day because I assume everyone does! Maybe twice a day if you're going to bathe and go out in the evening.

Vaginal secretions have no smell unless someone is unhygienic and wears same pants two days running.