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AIBU?

To shower while baby sleeps in bedroom

231 replies

JodieWhittakersBraces · 05/11/2018 07:03

We've had our first baby and my DH is back to work today after paternity leave. This may seem like a stupid question but we seem to disagree about whether I can take a shower while the baby sleeps in the bedroom without my having a baby monitor to take into the bathroom. I think I should be ok if the baby's upstairs, I'm in and out asap - potentially leaving the bedroom and bathroom doors open. He reckons I need to take a baby monitor into the bathroom (which we haven't yet purchased).

Please be gentle, Mumsnet, we are first time parents Smile

OP posts:
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WatchingFromTheWings · 05/11/2018 07:05

Go for it. I never took a monitor into the bathroom with me for any of mine. You won't be gone long!

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PotteringAlong · 05/11/2018 07:06

Just have the shower. The baby will be fine Smile

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Fireballfriends · 05/11/2018 07:06

Of course it's fine!

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PotteringAlong · 05/11/2018 07:06

And no, don’t take baby monitors into the bathroom. The steam from the shower will
Knacker them!

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Hospitaldramafamily · 05/11/2018 07:07

With a baby that young (I'm assuming two weeks?) I'd definitely take the monitor in. I've only started popping for a quick shower without the monitor and my little boy is nearly 7 months.

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Danteinferno · 05/11/2018 07:07

Totally fine.

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MonteStory · 05/11/2018 07:07

I would and have showered without the baby monitor (you might not hear it over the water anyway). Your dh needs to realise that he has to trust you to parent safely, he can’t control your every move while he’s at work. As long as the baby is safe and happy it’s really non of his business.

That said, it doesn’t sound like something worth arguing over. He sounds like a nervous first time dad. Nod and smile and wave him off to work.

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LilMy33 · 05/11/2018 07:07

I never bothered with a baby monitor at all let alone in for when I was in the shower and the baby was fast asleep in another room. Would you even hear it over the shower anyway? You’ll be fine and more to the point, so will the sleep baby.

Congratulations on being new parents btw.

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TulipsInBloom1 · 05/11/2018 07:08

No need to take the monitor in.

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Nosugarcoating · 05/11/2018 07:08

Your baby will be absolutely fine, as you shower. I agree with everyone else steam from the shower will knacker you monitors.

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Knittingteapot · 05/11/2018 07:08

Absolutely fine! Realistically, how quickly can you have a shower? Even if the baby cries for 5 minutes, they'll be fine. If you've got a good sleeper you could always put them on a mat in the shower with you. Mine (8 weeks) is a snotty one so I take her in with me most mornings to clear her out. She's quite happy kicking her legs in the bouncy chair and watching me in the shower!

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LilMy33 · 05/11/2018 07:08

*sleeping baby not sleep baby. Clearly I need more sleep.

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AnotherPidgey · 05/11/2018 07:09

You'll be fine. Basic self care is very important to your mental and physical health and therefore very important too.

If baby cries, you'll hear, and baby won't come to any harm for a couple of minutes while you finish washing the suds off. You would't hear much extra of use through a baby monitor over the shower noise anyway.

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treaclesoda · 05/11/2018 07:11

Your baby will be fine. I never used a baby monitor at all, and that was also fine.

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littleblackno · 05/11/2018 07:11

Totally fine to do this. I never bothered with a monitor but my kids were both so loud I could hear them anywhere!
I also used to put them in a bouncy chair if they were awake and have that in the bathroom while I showered.
Congratulations on your new baby 👶

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TheNumberfaker · 05/11/2018 07:12

Absolutely fine

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ellesbellesxxx · 05/11/2018 07:12

I used to just go in the shower (we did have an en suite at the time) while my twins slept.. that was the only five minutes all day I got to look after myself! I could hear them anyway if they woke up 😱😱

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AnotherPidgey · 05/11/2018 07:13

Very important to baby too...

I never ended up with a baby monitor anyway. Baby was close enough to not need one through the early weeks and months and when we moved to more formal bedtimes in the cot at about 6m, the acoustics of the house meant we could hear surprisingly clearly anyway.

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Blankscreen · 05/11/2018 07:14

Yes have a shower. Put the baby in its cot when it is asleep and have a shower.

What are you supposed to do sit and watch the baby all day?

Have you taken it in turns at tonight to just sit and watch the baby?

Or is it that dh doesn't like the thought of the baby crying? New borns usually build up to flat out screaming so I think a 5 minute shower will be fine.

Get a monitor today to save anymore silly rows.

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Teachtolive · 05/11/2018 07:15

Absolutely fine. I used to bring the monitor in. It was a video one that the picture would activate with noise. I just popped it in a Ziploc bag so the steam didn't get on it. As a pp said though if you don't have one, baby will be fine, even if he cried for 5 mins, it's not the end ofthe world

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Sowhatifidosnore · 05/11/2018 07:16

Have the shower! Your baby will be fine. Pack your nervous nelly new dad off to work with a smile and get on with doing things your way. It’s all going to be your way pretty much now as you’ll be primary carer and he won’t know any different! Your baby, your rules... my DW was a terrible fusspot the first time around but calmed down after a month or two... me and the baby just found our own routines and got on with it!

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cansu · 05/11/2018 07:18

I never had a monitor. Of course you can take a shower. The baby is safe in their cot. They will cry if they need you. Your dp is being ridiculous. You will need to do lots of stuff while the baby sleeps

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NotBadConsidering · 05/11/2018 07:22

In two years’ time you’ll be cursing the fact you can’t have a shower or go to the toilet without someone coming in saying “Mummy?” So please have a shower. Nothing is more likely to happen. Baby monitors and alarms cause more anxiety than they save overall.

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Dawsonforehead · 05/11/2018 07:23

Baby will be fine to sleep in the bedroom. We have a noisy power shower so when I switch it off for soap and shampoo I have a good listen to see if he's woken up! Life has to go on and you'll find you have to leave him alone in various rooms while you do things (like kicking in his mat while you go and make a cup of tea).

Once you've done it a few times you will trust both yourself and the baby more. DH might take longer to convince as he will be alone with baby a lot less and will be used to one of you always being there.

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Mondaytired · 05/11/2018 07:24

I always used to leave DS sleeping when I had a shower, as he got older I’d put him the baby bouncer etc.

Good luck! It can seem a bit overwhelming the first days when paternity leave ends but you soon get into a little rhythm of things. Enjoy, it’s the best time!

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