To shower while baby sleeps in bedroom

[JodieWhittakersBraces]

We've had our first baby and my DH is back to work today after paternity leave. This may seem like a stupid question but we seem to disagree about whether I can take a shower while the baby sleeps in the bedroom without my having a baby monitor to take into the bathroom. I think I should be ok if the baby's upstairs, I'm in and out asap - potentially leaving the bedroom and bathroom doors open. He reckons I need to take a baby monitor into the bathroom (which we haven't yet purchased).

Please be gentle, Mumsnet, we are first time parents

Enjoy your shower. Baby will be fine. I never had monitors either as kind of thought... well if babies survived before they were invented then???. Do remember after having DS2 he was in bouncy chair outside shower crying, toddler was in travel cot crying and i was in shower.....crying. but we all survived. Congrats to u

We lived in a two bed flat and never bothered with a baby monitor but used iPad and iPhone link if staying in someone's house.

First of all congratulations on your baby, secondly its perfectly normal to have thoughts and worries about what to do with your baby while you sort your own needs out. However, it is VERY important to look after yourself.
My boys are now 12 and 15 and when they were small we didn't have a baby monitor as I felt our house was small enough that I would hear them if they cried.
I am a massive advocate that as a new Mum you should try and shower and dress first thing in the morning as it sets you up for the day. If your baby is sleeping go a head and jump in the shower. The worst thing that can happen is they will wake up and maybe cry. If mine were awake I used to take the bouncy chair into the bathroom and chat away while I showered. i often found they fell asleep as it was warm and the shower is like white noise !

Have the shower!
We didn't have a monitor until our daughter was 4 months old, so if I didn't shower when she was sleeping I wouldn't have been able to shower for 4 months!

Baby will be absolutely fine, no need for monitor for the time it takes to shower.

Oh bless him.Hes just being a protective daddy.Nope just as most have said totally fine.I never used a monitor at all as my hearing intensified after having my babies.Not worth arguing over though so do what you feel is right

Absolutely yes! A baby's cry is designed to get your attention whatever you are doing! As long as your baby is in a safe place where they can't roll off anything, absolutely shower, watch tv, apply make up! They cut the cord for a reason 😉

Hope you’ve had a lovely shower by now OP.

If it makes you feel any better, DH and I had massive disagreement when DS was a premature newborn about whether he should be strapped into his car seat every time we carried him up the stairs or whether he was safer being transported in Moses basket. We were just carrying him up in our arms soon enough and laugh about it now!

He's just worrying, I don't have a monitor and don't be getting one. Us mother's have got to who we when we can xx

Oh gosh yes! I have been doing this all along and baby is 8 months now. Also don’t worry as me & my husband disagree on a lot of things. He’s never looked after her for more than an hour at a time so he has no idea how hard it is to get stuff done!!!

Absolutely fine without it.... or suggest your other half takes care of the baby in the morning so you can shower before he leaves for work.

Of course it's ok! My baby is 5 weeks and I shower every morning and never use a baby monitor, I couldn't hear it as my head is under the shower! Plus what are you going to do if you hear a cry, run naked and dripping wet and soapy to pick up your baby? Making time for showers ect in the early weeks are important for your wellbeing.

Congratulations on your new baby.

I think your partner is an anxious first time daddy- he’s got to realise that you need to do things without holding baby 24/7.
Don’t take monitor in bathroom- but if it makes you more relaxed, what’s the harm? You’ll find ways of doing things your way and that work for you. I used to take LO in his Moses basket then his bouncer and now he happily explores and rearranges the bathrooom for me whilst I take a decent shower. I’ve made sure that the bath has his toys on and anything dangerous is obviously out of the way. I don’t even tidy up into the evenings sometimes!
Enjoy your baby whilst they’re still small xx

from now onwards , for the rest of your life you will always hear a baby cry every time you take s shower ..,
even after they’ve all left home and gone to live in australia

Having twins that slept at different times I always had one upstairs and one down at nap time so one waking didn’t wake up the one that had only just gone off to sleep. So going in the shower was no different - I was only a room away ( very small house) - if they were in cots they were fine even if they cried for 5 mins. Not much choice when you’ve got twins or multiples.

Run a bath, you will gear the baby. Sorry if a repeat, only read the first few replies.

I used to worry a lot and would wait until my DH came back (mistake of new mum, in my opinion), it meant I felt mucky and very low most of the day and when he was back I felt twice as low because I looked grim!
I then took the monitor in, but to be honest, I don't think I needed it.
I finally started to have the showers with baby in the bouncy chair and it was very good. The steam helped clear the sinuses, I would talk to my baby whilst I was in the shower and I could take as long as needed before I could see that DD (or DS yeara later) started to be bored. Sometimes it meant I could not properly rinse my hair but it was sorted in the next "wake up time", when I would do only that kneeled outside the bath and quickly, or as soon as I had put her to sleep. I neglected everything with my first born but later appreciated that seeing you or hearing you doing stuff counts as "entertainment" for very little ones. So I would have them on a carrier whilst I did light tidy up, or in the bouncy chair at a safe distance but within reach when I did other stuff. Doing things whilst they were awake meant that I could also sleep when they slept, next to the cot or moses on my bed. It was much much better than the first few months with my first newborn, when I struggled to have a normal routine. Honestly, if you pamper yourself next to your baby, you will feel twice as good and your baby will be soothed by your voice and closeness. Talk out loud about what you are doing, repeat words of things around you, sing nursery rhymes, put music on and sing to that (incidentally, there has been quite a bit of research published this month on the beneficial effects of music on baby's language and brain development, so double win!). Use time when baby is awake to do the necessary stuff around the house, use time when baby is sleeping to rest yourself. Even if now it's small pockets of time, the baby will stay awake for longer period soon and this kind of routine can help.

If you are comfortable showering without a monitor you have answered your own question. You know what's best

What do you all think people did before monitors? My DC are 18 and 15 and I chose not to have a monitor. In the early weeks they would have taken naps in the same or next room but as they got to a couple of months they would have had naps in the bedroom and I would be downstairs, sometimes gardening even! I would walk inside every 15 mins or so and listen. My 2 had loud cries!

Wouldn’t bother at all and congrats! Stupid questions are all you’ll feel like you ask at this stage...

Oh and beware OP - you will THINK you hear the baby crying and want to dash out of the shower to check. Trust me. So the only reason it MAY be worth buying one is so you can stick you’re head out when you convinced they’re roaring and reassure yourself you have time to rinse the conditioner off. And enjoy the peaceful showers while they last. I had to find Only Fools And Horses on the Ipad for my five year old this morning 🙄🙄🙄

I never had a baby monitor, people could hear my son crying outside on the street (reflux) so I didn't really need one!

I used to take the bouncy chair into the bathroom too. A shower is lovely!

I think you worry about these sorts of things as a first time mum, I certainly did

Second time you’re like meh

You sound like a lovely mum. Trust your instincts and enjoy a baby free shower in peace

Go for it - baby will be fine! You have to shower, pee, make lunch, etc with baby often in another room, otherwise your life will come to a grinding halt! This time is just the best time when you're at home with your little one & you deserve to enjoy it - you'll find what works for you & relax into it - don't worry. I'm jealous - mine are pre-teens now & I'm only too happy to leave them in a different room!!!!

Have the shower! Baby will be fine and you’ll feel fresh and ready to take on the rest of the day!

Go take a shower, baby is a lot tougher than you think and you won’t break him if you let him cry for a few minutes. Honest mine is living proof and he’s 19Yrs next month. Congratulations on your new baby and that your both healthy.🌺