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Original poster

To shower while baby sleeps in bedroom

231 replies

JodieWhittakersBraces · 05/11/2018 07:03

We've had our first baby and my DH is back to work today after paternity leave. This may seem like a stupid question but we seem to disagree about whether I can take a shower while the baby sleeps in the bedroom without my having a baby monitor to take into the bathroom. I think I should be ok if the baby's upstairs, I'm in and out asap - potentially leaving the bedroom and bathroom doors open. He reckons I need to take a baby monitor into the bathroom (which we haven't yet purchased).

Please be gentle, Mumsnet, we are first time parents Smile

OP posts:
SweetheartNeckline · 05/11/2018 09:29

Enjoy your shower OP! I managed a shower every day with a newborn but conditioning my hair rarely happened as it seemed too indulgent.

We never used monitors until DC were 6m+ and being put in their own rooms at the start of the evening.

Did anyone else get that weird phantom crying thing though, with the white noise? Happened with the hoover too. Every time I was so convinced I heard a newborn crying.

Hazandduck · 05/11/2018 09:29

I’m new to this too so can only speak from my own experiences (DD is 11 months) but I was really anxious and DD came in the bathroom with me in her Moses basket for months. We got a camera monitor when she was about 6 months in preparation of her going in to her own room, and I still take it in the shower with me (I shower when she’s in bed now.) I was very, very anxious though I still am a lot of the time and I wouldn’t recommend it! I sometimes thought I could hear her crying when she wasn’t in those early weeks. You and your DH swill likely butt heads a lot in the coming months it’s something I totally didn’t expect to happen because we have never been argumentative as a couple but tiredness does crazy things to you and it’s a lot of responsibility to suddenly have thrust upon you both. Take each other with a pinch of salt for the next few months. It gets easier! Congratulations on your new arrival :)

Allthewaves · 05/11/2018 09:30

In use to have a quick shower while mine squawked in his cot. I had to get ready - needs must

Hazandduck · 05/11/2018 09:31

Yes @sweetheartneckline I thought I was going crazy! Heard it quite a bit but didn’t want to tell anyone in case they thought I was mad x

butterflysugarbaby · 05/11/2018 09:32

LOL of course it's OK. Enjoy your shower, and your lovely baby! Smile

QforCucumber · 05/11/2018 09:32

Go for the shower, however if you're anything like I was you'll hear phantom crying and be turning it off every 30 seconds anyway to just make sure (99% of the time he wasn't crying)

QforCucumber · 05/11/2018 09:33

haha @hazandduck and @sweetheartneckline complete x post!

Goostacean · 05/11/2018 09:35

Cane here to mention the phantom crying! Glad I wasn’t the only one!! Properly hallucinated the baby crying throughout my first and second showers post-birth, even though DH was with the baby! It eased up eventually, thank goodness.

RB68 · 05/11/2018 09:37

Good grief - of course you can do things whilst she is sleeping - do you have a 24.7 nightwatch arrangement = no you sleep at some point when no one is watching her - so just have the 5 min shower and get over it

Hazandduck · 05/11/2018 09:39

Ha ha glad there are other phantom-Cry-hearers out there!

liquidrevolution · 05/11/2018 09:40

In a few weeks you can do what I did. Shower with baby. Wash baby all over, wrap up in warm towel and pop in sink while you shower yourself. Worked a treat until DD started moving more

DaysDragonBy · 05/11/2018 09:41

I put baby in one of those baby chairs (bouncer?) in the bathroom. I tried to time my shower for when she would nap. An excellent side effect was that when she was grumpy, ill or not napping, putting her in the chair in the bathroom and having an extra shower sent her off to sleep.

Oysterbabe · 05/11/2018 09:43

Ah yes I hear phantom cries. I was straining to hear the other day because I thought I could hear DS fussing. He was on my lap at the time Blush

TurquoiseDress · 05/11/2018 09:54

Just take your shower, leave the baby sleeping in the bedroom.

I tend to leave the bathroom door open so I can hear for any noise- I guess depends on how far away the bedroom is.

When DC1 was tiny I used to wheel their crib into the bathroom doorway so I could keep them in sight while I showered!

Don't do that anymore with DC2

TurquoiseDress · 05/11/2018 09:56

YES to the phantom cries!

This happens a lot to me, when the shower is running and typically I have a head full of shampoo!

jcsp · 05/11/2018 10:03

With child no.1 if they’re crying they’re dying and if they’re quiet they’re dead.

By the time you get to no.3 you’ll be locking the door and showering until you’re pruny all over!

Shower away.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 05/11/2018 10:03

Showering while baby is asleep is just good sense. Is the bathroom upstairs too? Leave the doors open if it makes you feel more comfortable so you can hear. Showers when you have a newborn are generally very quick so no problem at all. If you were in the shower and took the monitor and the baby woke up, what would you do anyway? You still need to get out and dry yourself...same as if you heard him/her wake up. I also find if baby isn’t sleeping and you need a shower, take him/her in the bathroom with you and lie them on a changing mat. My little one is very happy just watching and listening to the water running and playing peekaboo from behind the shower screen!

MrsJBaptiste · 05/11/2018 10:04

Your husband is being ridiculous to even think of this imo

No he's not, he's a new dad going back to work for the first time and is overthinking everything. Men are allowed to do this too, you know!

EdwardBear1920 · 05/11/2018 10:06

I'm being all nostalgic for when I had a baby that young. I can't remember what I did, but it probably involved having the basket just outside the bathroom door and having one foot out of the shower just in case he needed me in an emergency. Even if DH was home.

Obviously with baby number two I'd occasionally wonder where the hell I'd put her down and would locate her when she needed me. I have a vague recollection of chatting happily to an empty moses basket only noticing when she cried from her crib in the bedroom. She was fine.

Congratulations to you!

LightTripper · 05/11/2018 10:07

Definitely fine I think!

But I used to want to use precious (rare rare rare) nap times for something more exciting - so I would bring babies in with me with a bouncy chair or moses basket as they seemed to find it a bit entertaining watching me do day to date stuff (probably not that interested at two weeks old though, but might give you the nap time to do something more interesting, like drink tea and eat chocolate or have a nap yourself).

bluesky45 · 05/11/2018 10:25

My ds is 13months and I still take the monitor into the bathroom with me when I shower! I feel a bit daft now but it just seemed sensible to me for some reason. Think I'm in the habit of it now. Clearly, from all these responses, it's totally fine to shower with or without a monitor though!

Allthenamesaretaken0 · 05/11/2018 11:13

Definitely not. You won't be long and what will you realistically be able to do soaking wet with shampoo in your hair if the baby does start crying. At that age once they're fed and burped you'll have plenty of time while the baby sleeps.
Easy to say but relax and trust your instincts you cannot physically be with them every single second of the day :) x

needsanewname · 05/11/2018 11:16

I wouldn't and DD is 3 months.. but then I'm full of anxiety and her bedroom is downstairs and the bathroom is upstairs. Go for it and see how it goes!

Revengers18 · 05/11/2018 11:24

Congratulations on your new baby!!

Don't bother taking a monitor into the bathroom with you. Though whenever I showered and they were young I'd leave the bathroom door open and I swear I thought I could hear her crying constantly, it's phantom cries you think you hear and you rush out of your 5 minute shower to find her sleeping soundly...

Bond0O7 · 05/11/2018 11:27

My baby is almost 1 and I have never missed a shower in the morning or at night! Baby will be fine go for it!