To think daughter is ungrateful/expects too much

[Pompom42]

Have a teenage daughter she's 13.
She currently shares a bedroom with her younger sister. The younger sister is 3 but isn't really sleeping in there atm she still sleeps in my room with me.
We have a 2 bed bungalow which is not tiny but not large either. But we are all on the one floor so I appreciate we do get in each other's way at times.
Just recently she keeps saying to me "wish I didn't have to share a room with my sister".
Whilst it isn't ideal as I said youngest isn't sleeping in there. It's a nice room and was all decorated and new beds etc 2 years ago.
Now she's started saying "this house is tiny, when can we move?"
"All my friends houses are bigger, this house is really really tiny compared to theres"
I've said to her tonight I can't afford anything else. We live in a naice area and at the time it was this house or nothing. We have a drive and a garden and it's in a pretty village.
For some reason it's made me feel really upset. AIBU in thinking she's spoilt? Or is this normal teenage behaviour?
What about years ago when you had families of 6 children all living in a 3 bed house.
What can I say to her?

If you had a boy and a girl you would have to find a solution - what would it be?

SalomesDance

But I have 2 girls? How ridiculous. I already said I was living in 3 bed previously.
Say something helpful please

This is getting ridiculous, I have posted a couple of times. I seriously cannot believe the amount of grief the OP is getting. No wonder children of today are called the entitled generation.

Two bedrooms, two same sex siblings share the bigger room. Big deal, end of topic. Done.

Why all the votriol?

I applaud you op for standing your ground with some of poisonous, privileged, unrealistic MNetters.

This is nothing but a bullying thread.

OP- you are doing a and job, your DD is 13 and hormonal and ungrateful. She will grow up one day and hopefully love you unconditionally for the sacrifices you he made x

Apologies for my shit typing on my ancient iPad

Is anyone reading that the 3 year old doesn’t really use the room?!!

When they were growing up three of my daughter's shared a room. We had a three bed house. The oldest had the small room and three of varying ages from four to fourteen had the other. Me and husband had third bedroom. No way would I have bought a sofa bed. Two sisters can share no matter what age they are. Why give up holidays and stuff to buy a bigger house? The eldest might move out in five years of so your two bedroom will be big enough. No child should dictate to the parents.

Edison

Thanks. Full of bullies on here. Obviously having a rubbish time themselves and wanting to take it out on me.
Not everyone is intelligent I know and they all know better than me and they would bend over backwards for their children. Don't they think that's what I'm doing?

dragonara

People commenting earlier that teenagers don't really like holidays anyway.
What about the 3 year old. No one gives a hoot about her

Totally agree with EdisonLightBulb! I stopped reading after 2 pages as i couldn't believe what I was seeing! Honestly it's no wonder we see so many bratty kids if people pander to their kids like this and sleep in their own lounge so the kids can have a room each! Geez get a grip. To the OP, sges being a bratty 13 year old, it's what they do. No you are not being unreasonable!

Smileyk

😀

I don’t think she’s being a spoilt teenager, just a teenager and she wants her room which is understandable but life’s not like that and she’s lucky to have a nice house in a nice area but she won’t appreciate that until she looks back.

Can you explain again? you can’t move but can you suggest that when she has friends over the little sister will always be with you...she can have privacy and pretend it’s her room.

Is anyone reading that the 3 year old doesn’t really use the room?!!

That's the case now, and it's a 3 year old choice, but who know what might happen tomorrow she might decide to move in with her sister.

Although this does puzzle me that the eldest is complaining about sharing a room, when the OP says the youngest is never there. Plays in the lounge, sleeps in the small room. I'm not sure why the eldest is moaning, unless the youngest wanders in without notice, or moves / plays with her stuff.

MeteorMedow

I don't agree it isn't big enough.
It's plenty big enough but eldest wants room to herself.
I won't be here forever but for now it's not too bad.
Don't think we should pander to Children’s every wants and whines but happy to provide the basics.

My 17 year old daughter shares with her 11 year old sister and it works well but my eldest doesn’t have a problem with the size of our house or sharing. My 11 year old does get banished when the eldests boyfriend is over/staying the night but other than that shes happy to share. My 15 year old daughter and 8 year old son have their own rooms. In my 15 year olds case it’s essential she has her own room for everyone’s sanity.

IceRebel

Think she doesn't like sharing the wardrobe too and in the morning I go in there to get youngest clothes out of wardrobe.
She's very moody atm so I'm wondering if this is the problem rather than she is bothered about the sister.

She's very moody atm

Sounds like a normal 13 year old.

Lol pompom in that case I have no sympathy with her!

I can't believe what a hard time you are getting, some people are just mean and unrealistic.
You are doing the best you can and the girls are loved and well looked after.
Ignore the haters, look at the options that may work and see if any of them are possible x

She's very moody atm so I'm wondering if this is the problem

Hormones - she'll grow out of it.

In forty years' time you'll laugh about this.

Joking aside - that will be a big part of it - normal teenage girl puppy-downy hormones, and natural pushing of boundaries which is part of growing up.

She is learning how to behave, what she can get away with and what she can't, and just kicking at the traces. You are having to cope without a partner (or, I'm guessing, close friend or relative) that you can share this with over a glass of wine and have a good vent about it to ge tit into proportion.

As a mother of a DD myself, I can promise you that during the teenage years (which seem to stretch on for several centuries) you will not be able to do a thing right, no matter how you try,

Not.

A.

THING!

*uppy-downey, not puppy-downy

“If you had a boy and a girl you would have to find a solution - what would it be?”

Maybe they’d still have to share?

Have two children with different genitals doesn’t magically double anyone’s income so that they can buy a bigger house.

My three DDs have always shared one room - and they're in their late teens now - one's at university, but when she comes back, they still all share. Not as big an age gap as 13 and 3, but still. I know very few teenagers who have their own rooms (I'm in London). Most share a room in bunkbeds with their siblings.

The NSPCC advises that children of different genders over the age of 10 don't share a room.

She is not ungrateful. She is growing up and wants some privacy

NotBeforeCoffee

She has her privacy. Where did I say she doesn't have any privacy?
No one is in there whilst she's getting dressed etc