to not put the heating on for this?!

[jiroej]

I feel the cold, and we have had the heating on a few times on chilly evenings this year. However, we live in a well insulated flat, and it's still relatively mild in the south east.

I haven't put the timer on for the mornings yet as a) it's not that cold and b) we get up, get dressed, and go to work for 10 hours, so I feel it's a waste of money to heat up the place just to quickly leave. Once we start getting frosts though, we will put it on.

However, DP now wants to put the heating on for an hour every morning from now on, whatever the temperature, for one reason: to heat up his work shirt before putting it on. It's causing a lot of arguments, as he thinks it's worth paying for, whereas I think it's a pathetic and ridiculous reason to put the heating on before it's actually cold enough to.

He thinks I am BU, but I don't find it cold enough in the mornings to put the heating on and put our bills up. AIBU to keep pushing back and saying no? I know it's a sillt issue as the heating will be on in the mornings anyway in a few weeks, but right now it's an issue and I don't know if I'm being unfair or not?

How about this: Until Christmas, let him have his way. Then, for a Christmas gift, buy him a heating lamp that is the right form factor to put near his hanging shirt, and one of those timers used to turn lights off/on during holidays.

Also, be kind. Don't give him these gifts in front of the whole family. Even if you want to.

What with global warming it seems way over the top and selfish to heat an entire house for one shirt. Tell him to grow up.

YABU. I go out to work all day to pay for a comfortable life, I'll be damned if I can't spend a few quid more a month to be warm in the mornings. And if my husband tried to say otherwise... well, he wouldn't actually since he's not a total miser.

Who wants to get up to a cold house? Stop being so miserly and put the heating on for an hour before you get up.

An hour in the morning (30 mins before we get up and goes off 30 mins before we leave) is our arrangement. Life is to short to shiver

Get him one of those small oil-filled radiators, to go on his side of the room. He can drap his shirt over it at night, switch it on as soon as the alarm goes off, and his shirt should be nicely warm by the time he's ready to put it on. Or he could put it on a timer.

I would be freezing in 17 - me too.

Tell him to blow it through with the hair dryer if he’s that desperate! and If he wants a warm shirt in the morning pass him the iron

Don't forget that the OP will then have to worry about the cost of electricity plus depreciation costs of using both the hair dryer and the iron!

Do you like each other? - I am asking myself the exact same question!

We just leaving the heating on 18 constantly and turn it up if we want it warmer for a bit.

FOR SOME CONTEXT

Here are estimated running costs of heating for 1 hour:

www.confusedaboutenergy.co.uk/index.php/heating-and-hot-water/heating-units

If he contributes 50% of the fuel bill, then YABU.

If he contributes 50% of the fuel bill, then YABU.

And if he doesn't, he can get lost?

Have the thermostat set at a minimum temperature and if it goes below that allow the heating to kick in.
Ours is set to 18 and if it goes below that it goes on until it reaches that temperature. At night it goes down to 14 degrees

"an hour of heating is not that much"... ok, that adds up to 22 hours per month, you guys, it is quite a considerable expense just to warm up a shirt. But there are clothes warmers he could use, like those electric free standing radiator racks that you just plug in, they are not too expensive and they might be a good compromise?

Haven't read the full thread, but can't your DP warm up his work shirt with a hairdryer, OP?

perfectly fine. after all I am sure that there is absolutely no need to make any cuts in the use of electricity and fossil fuels, etc. not like the planet is in trouble or anything.

Life is too short - put the bloody heating on for an hour. I love having a warm jumper or shirt to put on in the mornings.

You sound tight and controlling, he sounds wet and pathetic. Perfect match

I'd take the extra hour with heating in the morning any time - otherwise you freeze when getting out the shower!

"an hour of heating is not that much"... ok, that adds up to 22 hours per month, you guys, it is quite a considerable expense just to warm up a shirt.

If you look at estimated costs of heating above and let's assume it's electric heaters that the OP has, this would be just under £11 per month. Unless they are in absolute dire straits where money is concerned, this is hardly something that would break the bank! Bear in mind that this is not going to be spent forever and may not even be that amount as they don't need to heat the entire flat for a shirt. The OP also said the heating would be on in the mornings in few weeks anyway, so we are literally talking about arguments over few quid here. And I am also not under the impression that the OP is looking for a compromise as to the cheaper solution. She thinks it's ridiculous to spend any money on heating a shirt at all because she doesn't think it's cold yet.

Her other half doesn't sound much better as he keeps the window open at night despite the fact that she feels cold. It seems like their feelings and consideration for each other is very much mutual.

Thank you for all the responses. However, despite what people think (that I am 'making' him freeze), I want to say again, we live in a very well insultated flat that rarely gets cold. Right now, it's 20C and the heating hasn't been on at all this evening.

This morning I compromised, and we set the heating to come on, if the temperature was below 18C. It didn't come on, as it wasn't cold enough, so partner got very cross as his shirt wasn't warmed up. He then turned the thermostat up to 30C! Leaving me with an awful headache.

For the last time, he doesn't want it on because he's cold, he's just OCD about having a warm shirt. He admits himself, it's just because of the shirt.

Ours is set to 18 and if it goes below that it goes on until it reaches that temperature. At night it goes down to 14 degrees

So with the window open the heating could be on all night then? Just to warm a shirt?

Some people don't seem to get 'natural consequences' do they? Window open = Cold shirt

For the last time, he doesn't want it on because he's cold, he's just OCD about having a warm shirt. He admits himself, it's just because of the shirt.

And clearly it doesn't matter to you if he has his comforts or not. Just as it doesn't matter to him whether or not you feel cold because he has the windows open at night. Perfect! Continue arguing over few quid then before the heating comes on in few weeks anyway as you stated earlier. He will continue turning the heating up to 30 every morning and you will continue having headaches leading you to possibly spend those few quid on headache pills anyway. What a wonderful relationship you do have!

Even my husband, who is very stingy with the heating, has it timed to come on before we get up in the morning.
However, our boiler is currently broken so YABVU not to take advantage of what you have

I'd suggest buying a heated airer which is always going to be less wasteful than heating a whole flat to 30!

We turned one of the living-room radiators on when the rabbits went and sat next to it and glared at us.

It was very cold.

Do we lose the annual heating-martyr competition?

(we also have a separate electric towel wotsit for just this sort of conundrum)