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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has my DP been stealing my electricity?

282 replies

Rugpulledfromunderme8 · 03/11/2018 13:19

This is my first post after much lurking and it might be a bit outing but sod it, frankly. Apologies if this is a bit long.
So, I've been with my (now-ex) DP for nearly four years and he lives in the flat above me (which is how me met).
He's been living with me with a view to selling his place and we were going to buy somewhere together.
We've had a few rows along the way but generally been living together ok for about two and a half years.
So, the past few mornings I've noticed that a double socket in the spare bedroom has been switched on. (With nothing plugged in) I work during the day and he's doing his flat up, so he's at home during the day.
Thought nothing of it, I plug my hairdryer into the neighbouring socket and thought I'd knocked it. Until today, when the alarm clock was flashing and plugged into the 'wrong' socket - indicating that it had been unplugged and plugged back in again. A long extension cable was under the bed. (the kind that wraps around a wheel type device, so really, really long)
I shouted through the bathroom door to ask what he'd been using the socket for. No answer. Then he laughed and said he was listening to the clock radio on the alarm (so obviously not true, who sits in a spare room listening to a clock radio?!)
Basically he refused to tell me what he'd been doing. Said I'd imagined it, it was me, he'd done nothing. I got so angry because it's blatantly obvious he's been using the socket for something and he won't tell me. I can't begin to imagine what he's been doing and why he won't tell me.
So I clearly can't trust him in my flat can I? I've asked him to move out.
He says I'm being unreasonable, clearly don't trust him and 'shouldn't' be living with someone when 'I'm not the sort to trust anyone in my house.'
Wtf? I'm shell shocked. AIBU? What has he been doing?

OP posts:
Original poster
Rugpulledfromunderme8 · 03/11/2018 18:29

@sweeneytoddsrazor I'm at work so I have no idea where he is. I'll be interested to see if his flat has power though when I get back home later!

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 03/11/2018 18:35

I think you're spot on Willow2017 ... Grin

Well done OP... Flowers

Gemini69 · 03/11/2018 18:36

I have never read a thread where so many people fail to grasp the issue at hand. I totally understand you op and think he's a cheeky fucker of the highest order. Good riddance to him. Let him doss down in his own flat. Oh and never let a man ponce off you again

totally agree... Flowers

Walkingdeadfangirl · 03/11/2018 20:00

Its a double socket, why would anyone unplug a clock when then their is an empty socket right beside it. It sounds completely plausible he was using the clock as a radio. Perhaps the extension cable was used so he could listen to the clock radio further away.

Its easy to check just take an meter reading and compare it to previous readings and see if there is a spike. I wouldn't jump to conclusions without something concrete to go on.

Witchesbritches · 03/11/2018 20:13

Willow. He never said he used the extension lead for the alarm clock radio.

...& why can’t he listen to the radio in the spare room? He could have been on a computer, building something for his flat, doing some paper work...anything.

Celestia. They were in a relationship until this morning. They were living together (as most couples do). The profit from the flat was going to go into a joint home...

sweeneytoddsrazor · 03/11/2018 20:22

I dont think anybody would have questioned the op for chucking him out because he didnt pay his share of the bills, but until this morning she appeared to be happy with that arrangement. The problem seems to be that he may or may not have lied.

Grimbles · 03/11/2018 20:56

- He is gaslighting you when you ask him why a huge extension cable is plugged in (who needs an extension for a radio?!!!!).

But it WASN'T plugged in. All that had happened was the op noticed that the clock radio in the spare room was plugged in to a different plug socket.

When asked the now ex partner said he'd been using the radio. The fact that the clock radio had obviously been unplugged indicates he had used it and then plugged it back into the wrong socket when returning it. I quite often plug a radio into the landing socket so I can listen from the bathroom for example.

There's absolutely nothing to indicate that he'd been running an extension from the spare room up to his flat beyond an extension reel being under the bed. If he hadused the extension then he wouldn't need to unplug the radio as its a double socket.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 03/11/2018 21:24

If he had been using electricity from OPs flat, could it really be stealing? Apparently he is/was selling his flat and co-mingling all their finances so they could buy a joint property. How can that be stealing and why would he even need to steal?

Walkingdeadfangirl · 03/11/2018 21:26

Another thought, if you were using a cable to go to a different flat, you would use the socket nearest the door, there is no way that would be in the spare bedroom. It just doesn't add up.

BigChocFrenzy · 03/11/2018 21:30

You're well rid of that cock-lodger, OP

LittleBearPad · 03/11/2018 21:37

This thread is completely ludicrous.

masktaster · 03/11/2018 21:41

Could he be using his own electricity with the extension lead usually, so for renovations, but bought it down into your flat a few days ago (it was in the way, he didn't need it upstairs, or he wanted to be able to plug something like a laptop in in a more convenient place) and tucked it under the bed out of the way until needed again upstairs? Or even a recent purchase ready for the next round of major work upstairs?

Moving a clock radio to a different room to listen doesn't sound massively unreasonable.

Storm4star · 03/11/2018 21:49

In the end it doesn’t matter what the truth is. It’s better for him that OP has ended it now. If she can end a 4 year relationship on something so petty, better he find out now before he is financially entwined with her.

CJsGoldfish · 03/11/2018 22:00

I'll be interested to see if his flat has power though when I get back home later!

I'm sure there will be a post saying he has no power. That's the only way this thread can go now. Otherwise it really is the most ridiculous thread especially considering you are not together anymore so wtf does it actually matter?
Weird thread is just weird and a 'no power' situation might pull it back for you OP. lol

BerylStreep · 03/11/2018 22:05

Am I the first to point out that you can't actually steal electricity because it is not 'property' under the theft act.

Instead the offence is 'abstracting electricity'.

Celestia26 · 03/11/2018 22:12

Witchesbritches

Sorry I'm confused now. The original post read that they had been separated for a while.

Rugpulledfromunderme8 how long have you been separated from him?

Grimbles · 03/11/2018 22:20

Since she dumped him for plugging the clock radio back into a different socket Grin

angelikacpickles · 03/11/2018 22:26

They broke up this morning because of this issue. The OP has already clarified that.

ButchyRestingFace · 03/11/2018 22:27

Am I the first to point out that you can't actually steal electricity because it is not 'property' under the theft act.

I have a vague memory of reading about someone who was prosecuted by some train company or another (very vague memory, sorry), for plugging his phone into the socket at the side of the train doors where a sign clearly read "Do not plug electrical items into this socket."

The newspapers, at the least, seemed to report this as prosecuted for stealing electricity.

I'd go and google but I can't be arsed. Grin

Gemini69 · 03/11/2018 22:54

Yes you can steal Electricity.... it is covered under the Non-Technical Losses Act... and it is a crime Flowers

JovialNickname · 03/11/2018 23:49

It's a first anyway in that the OP has been literally gaslighted. In that he's stolen her gas, and light (in as much as anyone can tell from the plug socket /electric cable evidence)

Witchesbritches · 04/11/2018 00:10

celestia

Confirmation...

Sat 03-Nov-18 14:13:04 Yes @InsomniacAnonymous. That's it exactly. He became my ex after I discovered this and he refused to tell me what he'd been doing.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 04/11/2018 05:58

He won’t be paying council tax because it’s in a state and not lived in. It looks like he’s not paying electric. There will be no gas usage so no bills. Water? There is no usage so no bill. He’s only had mortgage to pay.

You’re paying bills for both of you at your flat.

Dump him. He can always get himself a full size camping loo from Argos to use. He could actually build a bathroom and therefore have running water in 5 days. It’s his choice not to have a loo. He will resolve the facilities issue quickly if you don’t take him back.

He can always stay at a mates or relatives. You don’t have to have him back.

Personally I’d be tempted to go and see him while he’s in the flat so you can have an honest frank discussion and see where the work is at.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 04/11/2018 05:58

How long has he been living with you and has he the skills of a builder?

Labradoodliedoodoo · 04/11/2018 06:02

It’s the dishonesty that would be a deal breaker. Not using 5p of electricity

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