DIL gave granddaughter her mum's name as a middle name but second granddaughter my aunt's name?

[Colgate85]

Hi maybe I'm being completely unreasonable here. DIL and son have a daughter already and he middle name is DIL's mum's name. They just had their second daughter and told me we "wanted to honour you this time" and I was obviously very grateful and excited, but she went on to say we have used your aunt's name?

AIBU to be a little bit miffed how this is honouring me?

My son said they wanted both girls to share the same initial in the middle, which is why they did it but  that's fine but why the big song and dance about how it's honouring me.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet don't talk so stupid, the OP doesn't say that she asked for her name to be added just that she's a bit miffed that they are saying they are honouring her by using her aunts name. Which they absolutely aren't doing.

@GreatDuckCookery my husband has agreed on the names. He didn't like one so we used it as a middle name instead and used his own choice as a first name. His choice wasn't one from his family, just one he liked.

@GreatDuckCookery - Was it just the DIL who chose the first name? I would assume that both parents decided both names and that perhaps the OP's name just wasn't a fit for some reason. It could well be down to the initial or some other reason. Who knows?

the OP doesn't say that she asked for her name to be added just that she's a bit miffed that they are saying they are honouring her by using her aunts name. Which they absolutely aren't doing.
I agree.
If they'd just given baby a name then OP wouldn't care. She isn't saying her name should be included.
It's all the fake bullshitty claims of 'we are honouring You' but totally aren't that are the mildly irritating part.

@GreatDuckCookery - Just to add, from my own experience, my DP's absolutely favourite name also happened to be my DGM's name. My Aunt was also given a version of the same name. My DP told me this without knowing my Nan or Aunty's names. I kinda liked the name but would only have used it if our DC had suited it and maybe only as a middle name. Had we used it, literally everyone would have assumed that we'd named her after my Nan & Aunt, which wouldn't have been the case. Consequently, we would then have felt pressured to do the same for his side of the family with the next child and would have found it very difficult to explain if we hadn't done this. Frankly, the whole thing can become a minefield.

Far better to just roll with it and enjoy your DGC, whatever their names are.

They probably just don't like your name but knew this would still mean something to you

BrokenWing - Your post was completely off and i’m Not the only one who noticed.

@RelicHunter seriously? There was nothing "nasty" in my post and no other poster has commented on it. I really don't get where you are coming from so will leave you to it. 🤔

Maybe DIL suggested the name and DS mentioned it's your aunt's name (i certainly do not know my MILs aunts names off by heart) and they thought they'd present it as a grand gesture when really its just a name they like. I do think it's a silly way to present it to you.

Let it go. They probs are not just not keen on the name and is nothing personal against you.

Naming your baby is something that's thought about for months and months. The DILs used her mums name first and I doubt very much she thought " oh crap we don't like your mums name " after the second DD was born, this would have been discussed the first time round!

One of my daughters shares a name with dh's mum. We had no idea if we'd have another child, let alone another girl, so no we didn't discuss what name that hypothetical future girl would have?!? Who would?

I love my mum. I wouldn't use her name for a child. She isn't bothered. It's completely normal in our family to use family names that you like, and not ones you don't.

All 6 of my children have middle names from their grandparents/great grandparents names. My MIL had a hissy fit when we gave one of our DD's her middle name instead of her first name. No way would we have named our DD Glenda!! 😂😂😂

BrokenWing - I owe you a big apology . I'm so sorry I got you mixed up with someone else. I re read your posts again and you were just saying they were trying to 'soften the blow'. I am so sorry for upsetting you. Can you forgive me? I'm really not usually this batshit.

Op,
The fact that you are’blaming’ the wife says it all . The fact that they felt that they had to honour you says something about you and the way that they thought you would react
I get the impression that you don’t like the wife

Just be thankful yr middle name isn't Thistlewood 🤨

We gave our DD my GMs middle name as her middle name. I would never name a child using my DMs name; not because of any negetive feelings towards my DM, just because I don’t like her name.

I think you’re reading too much into it, OP. They’ve probably thought you’d appreciate the gesture that they’d thought of you and your family. FWIW, if I have another DC I would consider using a name from DHs side of the family but not either of his parents’ names. Granted, I probably wouldn’t tell them I was honouring then with it but I can see why they have in your situation