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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Daughter dragged on floor by Entertainer

199 replies

Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 20:13

My 8 year old was at School today and it was Pirate Day so they had an pretend pirate come in and do some activities. She has been in tears this evening saying the class was in a circle and he came up and frightened her and grabbed her by the foot then proceeded to drag her on the floor so she was on her back in front of every one being dragged around. She said it was supposed to be a joke but she was scared and it hurt her back. Is it me? Aibu? I'm extremely concerned.

OP posts:
TheDodgyDunnyOfDoom · 02/11/2018 14:05

Shize Op so your DD was right. Can you imagine if she had laxity in the hips or somesuch. It beggars belief that anyone thinks this sort of thing is OK. What a pillock!
A friend had her shoulder dislocated by our English teacher. She hadn't even done anything wrong he just wanted her out of his way so he could pass her on the stairs and yanked her over to one side. Next to bugger all was done about it as I remember. This was in the fourth year so we were all about 14/15 and she instantly burst into tears with the shock of it. Thankfully things have moved on from the bad old days.

Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 14:12

I know I'm surprised as I was prepared to be told she was exaggerating. They have agreed and said it wasn't appropriate. We are not a snowflake family and my daughter plays football and has lots of friends who are boy's but she found this man's behaviour scary . I honestly would not do this to another person's child even if I was an Entertainer. I really feel it's crossing the line. Who knows like you say what medical condition they would have. I have never had someone pull or touch me at the London Dungeons so why would it be appropriate to manhandled a child? I'm pleased the school have acknowledged that.

OP posts:
Tomatoesrock · 02/11/2018 14:21

I am glad the school are on top of it. I hope your DD is feeling better today. Did she go into school today? Hopefully there is lots of reassuring all-round that it wasn't exceptable, make her feel better.

fuzzyduck1 · 02/11/2018 15:31

Sue the school for her injuries and upset you could get a few grand out of them for you daughters future. Although this would mean that the school would have less money to spend on books and stuff. But hay they are responsible for her while she is there. Where there’s a Blame there’s a claim.

GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2018 15:35

it was never going to end well, was

It would have ended better had the OP's DD not been dragged about

GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2018 15:37

Exactly @BigChocFrenzy. I mean why moan about that 1 in 5 rapes in the UK when women elsewhere are raped at a higher rate. So as 97% of women see their rapist never punished I'm sure that's a comforting thought for them 🙄

BackInRed · 02/11/2018 15:44

I can't believe how badly me-railed this thread was. Shock

Hope your daughter's back gets to feeling better OP. Flowers

RelicHunter · 02/11/2018 15:47

Boy! there are some weird people on here. Its the internet though....par for the course.

WhatTheWatersShowedMe · 02/11/2018 15:55

Some kids entertainers are bloody dreadful. We had one apply a glitter tattoo on my DD with fucking spraymount.

Shockers · 02/11/2018 15:58

I’ve just done my third lot of safeguarding training this year (three different organisations).
If this was part of his act, he needed to ask the teacher if it was ok, and who’d be up for it, then prep the child.

I was reminded of this when I read some of the comments on here.

Daughter dragged on floor by Entertainer
Loftyswops988 · 02/11/2018 19:33

I'm glad the school are taking it seriously. This is the kind of thing that would have traumatised me as a kid, i was so painfully shy. Some kids may have found it hilarious but really it's not appropriate, its a random man dragging kids around, he doesn't know them and doesn't know their personalities or any health issues they may have.

corythatwas · 02/11/2018 19:53

fuzzyuduck, there are actually ways of dealing with the problems that have nothing to do with suing. Like what the school has already proposed and the OP seems to have accepted, namely that they ring the company and gently but firmly point out that this is not appropriate. Company then lays down some guidelines for entertainers and this doesn't happen again. Simple.

troodiedoo · 02/11/2018 19:54

Thanks for the update OP. Hope dd is ok.

yesyesyess · 02/11/2018 20:25

I'm stunned that anyone would try to play down what happened to this poor girl.

Fuck me. She will get over it. It wasn't right but I agreed with a few PPs, she's not going to be scarred for life fgs!

VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 22:15

fuzzyuduck, there are actually ways of dealing with the problems that have nothing to do with suing. Like what the school has already proposed and the OP seems to have accepted, namely that they ring the company and gently but firmly point out that this is not appropriate. Company then lays down some guidelines for entertainers and this doesn't happen again. Simple.

I agree, I hate the whole "sue 'em" mentality, as you say a word to ensure it 's not likely to happen again and for them to revise their guidelines, not immediately think "how much cash can I get out of them."

AjasLipstick · 02/11/2018 22:29

Verbeena It doesn't MATTER if she was or wasn't enjoying the performance.

Nothing whatsoever to DO with the issue. Yet you keep raising this as though it is relevant.

it's NOT. If anything, it makes you seem as though you're undermining the child in some way.

Weird.

VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 22:44

Keep raising it? I didn't even bring it up again. You just did. Confused
My post was a response to someone mentioning suing.

GloomyMonday · 02/11/2018 22:52

OP, did they explain why the teacher watched it happen? I'm really surprised that this turned out to be a true story tbh but, since they agree with your dd, the next question from me would be why on earth staff sat there and watched her being dragged around by her foot!

AjasLipstick · 03/11/2018 02:21

Verbeena we cross posted.

My last post referred to this one of yours.

I have repeatedly said he misjudged and shouldn't have done it.
The OP's dd didn't sound like she was enjoying it anyway before that happened (from the updates before anyone asks again where I'm getting that from)
so it was never going to end well, was it.

adrienneJ · 03/11/2018 02:43

I'm sure the teacher or the school would have contacted you if it was an issue. I'm assuming she's in no way injured. Dont jump to any conclusions and speak to the school sounding like an idiot wanting assurance that that entertainer wont ever be coming back. You are never going to get an accurate and relative account from any eight year old so if you feel it necessary to call the school then just give a friendly call just to get clarification.
Obviously you know your child whether its something serious or just attention seeking which is natural for many eight year olds especially if they know theyre going to get pandered to for a while. very much doubt anything to worry about though

MyOtherProfile · 03/11/2018 05:23

@adrienneJ its worth reading the OPs posts even if you don't read the full thread. The school acknowledged that things did happen as the child said and thankfully are taking it seriously.

adrienneJ · 03/11/2018 06:34

Sorry ive just seen that you did contact the school and that doesn't sound quite right to me.

On a whim I think your DD is clever enough to play you like a guddun when she wants your attention and knows eactly how to get it.

You said she told you she knew he was only joking and playing around so it sounds unlikely she would have actually been scared by a pirate cutting up a watermelon with a toy knife, when he'll have been looking at all the class the same way and everyone was laughing.

Surely if she was scared stiff, and especially still with a sore back and crying that night then it must have been much worse at the time, and at that point the entertainer stopped to report incident and DD checked by nurse, entertainers risk assesment checked for such dangers accident report filled out etc etc etc..no? then shes lying, and developing that wonderful creative imagination that fizzes at around 7.

It doesn't add up.If they were sitting in a circle where would he of been dragging her around the floor, and it doesn't sound like you got any serious answers from the school at all as to why, unlikely that it is, any child was being grabbed and dragged round the floor in the first place?

Did it not seem bizarre that a teacher would be sitting watching 'part of a day' of this entertainers' interaction and then telling you that it was inappropriate. Err...hello its teacher it was your job to safeguard these kids and intervene it a hint of anything not quite right and surely if she said it happened as described then would by definition mean she was sitting watching your child being grabbed and dragged around the floor by an adult male....THATS INAPPROPRIATE!

Kids lie, its normal, for attention. My 7 yo DS told my DH and I his teacher kicked a football off his head during P.E weeks ago(trying to get a reaction from me) and it knacked he said. i could of said are you ok, he shouldnt of done that, where does it hurt etc. etc.and made a really big deal of it and turn it into something. My response.... well you shouldda moved out the way of the ball shouldn't ya? I got an awkward smile then he paused..."It didnt hurt that much, it was just an accident though" he then said settling for a conversation about his afternoon after being unable to sell the exaggerated storey. Why cant so many mothers see straight through their kids it baffles me!

Its unbelievable the parents who would instinctively believe their young kids before first speaking to an adult under the misguided belief it was good parenting. Firstly, this tells them its good to lie its how to get positive results, as well as lying your teaching them to act on impulse, that its not important to think about the right or best thing to do just go with the option thats there and easy., that narrow mindedness is the way forward. Kids will never respect adults that believe them without question, but i bet some of you are realising that already. For Christs sake the number of parents that encourage the full scale validation of this child being scared by this is frightening.

I would be concerned for the child here too but my concern would be the fact a childrens entertainer dressed up as a pirate going ARRR while cutting a water melon had caused her to be scared stiff in a classroom of otherwise laughing children. Whats wrong with her

Why dont parents realise that the pandering response of a good number of posters here and the very validation of being genuinely scared can only serve to harm rather than help. Without realising you're telling that child its fine, it's ok and normal to be scared....but.....its not....in this situation this its ABNORMAL irrational behaviour brought about and encouraged by irrational parenting response

I dont believe the OP actually did contact the school as this is such un unlikely response from any school. However i dont blame her for saying that she had after some responses on here. I dont think there was ever a need to contact the school anyway a) its very unlikely she was dragged around by any entertainer as he would include this plan in a risk assesment and drop it. She knew this would get mams attention however as theres usually an element of truth to kids lies she did probably get a sore back like we all did at that age when sitting on the floor for any period of time. b) She was probably crying due to the continued aww baby attention she was receiving from such that night as if as bad as she claimed this would surely have been an incident report at the least.

In a childs everyday life its normal to get bumps,scrapes, scratches, get a fright, a scare, a fear of something new, and there's gonna be some pretty pethetic adults out there due to the pandering generation of hysterical mums. Obviously excercise common sense but the kindest thing to help kids in many a situation like this is to simply say "get over it" at which point they'll try another method to get your attention......Seeing your kids develop respect will give you the confidence of fine future adults so do them a favour.

Stuck off work with a broken leg this has killed some time while i cant sleep. As you can tell im very anti-pandering as it destroys kids so now ive give my 2 cents on the matter goodnight.

Unfinishedkitchen · 03/11/2018 06:55

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GunpowderGelatine · 03/11/2018 08:09

EVERYTHING @Unfinishedkitchen said, @adrienneJ you really shouldn't have wasted so much time telling us how much you hate children and TBH you sound like you take a crappy approach to parenting. Saying "what's wrong with her" because she's frightened of something - she's 8, FFS.

I am so pleased we live in a culture now where children are no longer afraid to speak up when an adult hurts them or makes them uncomfortable. What a wonderful shift since the days of Saville, priest abuse etc where, even on the rare occasions when children DID have the bravery to speak up, they usually got told to STFU and it was swept under the carpet. I would so rather have a culture where children talk and are believed - if the odd 'liar' slips through the net (remember the OP's DD is telling the truth) who gives a shit? But take your bollocks attitude back to 30 years ago thank you.

And lastly @adrienneJ I take it if someone came up to you and started dragging you round by the foot in front of your friends against your will you'd be quite happy with that would you?

GunpowderGelatine · 03/11/2018 08:10

I have no idea why half of that is in bold, bloody app!