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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Daughter dragged on floor by Entertainer

199 replies

Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 20:13

My 8 year old was at School today and it was Pirate Day so they had an pretend pirate come in and do some activities. She has been in tears this evening saying the class was in a circle and he came up and frightened her and grabbed her by the foot then proceeded to drag her on the floor so she was on her back in front of every one being dragged around. She said it was supposed to be a joke but she was scared and it hurt her back. Is it me? Aibu? I'm extremely concerned.

OP posts:

Cambalamb · 01/11/2018 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WhyAmISoCold · 01/11/2018 21:41

Go away katharine. This isn't top trumps and stuff happens to everyone on differing scales. Doesn't mean the more minor things are irrelevant because someone else has very difficult troubles.

elfycat · 01/11/2018 21:41

Katherine you missed where a child starves to death every few minutes in the world. Tragic, I could cry, I want all children to be safe and cared for...

but I also want the OP's daughter not to have been hauled around by a leg, causing her to be upset.

Check with the school, but this is not OK and I would like to think the entertainer would be better trained, or that a teacher was on hand to stop that kind of thing. If this happened as described (and my children have been guilty of putting an innocently meant spin on a tale) then the school needs to sort this out and apologise.

Cambalamb · 01/11/2018 21:43

Most kids would laugh their heads off at being pulled along. She wasn't dragged to the floor from standing , she was sitting!

MulticolourMophead · 01/11/2018 21:49

Cambalamb there's no mention of a slippy floor, and in most schools children sit on a carpet or rug, not a slippy floor.

And it's irrelevant whether most kids would enjoy being dragged along. The OP says her child felt humiliation and hurt her back, which isn't acceptable.

PenelopeFlintstone · 01/11/2018 21:52

She does sound a bit soft. Can't you just say, "Oh well. He was trying to make you laugh. Don't worry about it."

TheDodgyDunnyOfDoom · 01/11/2018 21:52

Most children would NOT laugh as being grabbed has a shock factor to it and then the instant upset as a result of the shock. This would have affected me badly as a child. I grew up in the sixties and seventies and our teachers used to manhandle us regularly and it always upset us deeply, especially if we weren't expecting it.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 01/11/2018 21:56

Cambalamb and Katherine - could you both bore off and find something better to do with your evenings than being spiteful to the OP? Her daughter was upset and had a right to be upset. Speak to the school OP.

Original poster

Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 21:58

Katharine I also failed to mention about all the homeless people in my city lying on the floor who do not have a roof or a cooker...

She said she was scared as he kept following her round and then this happened. She is norm very confident so I am concerned but will try to find out the full story first.

OP posts:

KatharineHilbery · 01/11/2018 21:59

Does everyone here think the phrase ‘first world problems’ is just a joke?
At least cambalamb is standing apart from the general horror.
I’m quite amused at the outrage I seem to have provoked (common courtesy, anyone?), but shall now out now, remarking only that I would be beyond astonished if the incident actually happened as described.

ralphi · 01/11/2018 21:59

if this had happened to an adult, people would not be minimising it. If I was dragged off a podium whilst at a work event and dragged accross the floor by an "entertainer", then I would press charges for assault.If it is a child then it is somehow different? Is she supposed to be "laughing her head off".
Cambalamb : Even if it is true that most kids would be laughing (and I very much doubt that) op's child was not. So how does your argument apply to her.?

InstagramPork · 01/11/2018 22:00

❄️❄️❄️

ButchyRestingFace · 01/11/2018 22:02

Katharine I also failed to mention about all the homeless people in my city lying on the floor who do not have a roof or a cooker...

Not to mention the polar caps melting and all the polar bears starving...

Anyways, presumably the class teacher or TA was around? Maybe they'll be able to clarify.

thelistisendless · 01/11/2018 22:04

I would speak to the school and get the other side of the story before you do anything else

GloomyMonday · 01/11/2018 22:07

I teach and you would not believe how many times parents strop in with some bullshit story that's easily refuted. Usually there's a kernel of truth to it, built up by exaggeration. Parents generally apologise but sometimes they brazen it out. They usually say 'my child would never lie' but they actually most definitely have.

You're doing the right thing by asking the school for clarification. It's such an outrageous story, so wildly unacceptable in any school setting, that I can't imagine the entertainer doing it or the teacher watching passively. If it happened, it really is awful and you need to know why nobody stepped in to help her.

POPholditdown · 01/11/2018 22:11

Oh fgs OP there are people dying in the world.

Anyway..

That is terrible, I can’t believe someone would be so stupid to just dag a child across the floor. Hope she feels better

canonlydoblue · 01/11/2018 22:11

Placemarking for the update where the teacher tells you what actually happened. If it was as awful as your daughter is making out, you would have been informed at the end of the day.

POPholditdown · 01/11/2018 22:11

drag* obviously!

Witchesbritches · 01/11/2018 22:12

I think you can make too much of things sometimes. Teaching kids a bit of resiliance is a good thing. A quick look, rub and hug with an ‘Oh dear, I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you. Let’s see how it is in the morning’.

HoppingPavlova · 01/11/2018 22:14

KatharineHilbery , I think I understand what you are trying to say and I think people have taken it the wrong way.

It’s not invalidating anything, it’s not saying it’s not wrong, it’s not saying there is nothing to address BUT it is questioning whether the level of outrage and drama associated with something is proportionate.

So, in this case yes the OP should find out what happened and if it did happen should talk with the child and reinforce it was not appropriate and definitely sort it via proper channels. But is the outrage factor a 10? Taking into account the range of possible travesties, I wouldn’t think and cue people raging about invalidation ......

It’s something I have always really drive home with my kids (young adults). 30 years in an A&E gives you some sort of perspective on outrage and drama and it does sadly seem lost on 99% of people so I have always tried hard with my kids in this regard. If something is not right validate that, take action as appropriate but let’s really examine where it sits on the spectrum for dramatic outrage and in general it’s pretty low. Most people don’t bother with this themselves or teaching their kids so we have a society comprised mainly of drama llama’s. The older generation had it down pretty well but sadly it’s just about died out now.

ReanimatedSGB · 01/11/2018 22:15

Another vote for asking the school what happened before storming in threatening to sue and prosecute and all the rest of it. Kids do sometimes exaggerate.

LagunaBubbles · 01/11/2018 22:18

Did you contact the school earlier?

Original poster

Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 22:19

Katharine perhaps you should stay off the boards unless there's someone forced into a shack and prostitution. Anything less doesn't warrant any empathy and non important to you and you can't say anything constructive.

I agree gloomy but she is very outgoing and sensible and was really scared and being dragged around in front of people so I need to find out what happened and get an explanation.

Funny like said here if this was done to a female adult or someone elderly we would be seeing the funny side. I don't like the thought of her thought of her being followed round either

OP posts:

KatharineHilbery · 01/11/2018 22:19

Thank you pavlova. You’ve expressed what I was trying to say far better than I did. Of course no child should be hurt or frightened, but at the same time I think we should try to develop some sense of where we sit on the spectrum of human suffering.

Original poster

Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 22:21

Katharine go away. It's not acceptable to touch a child and make them feel scared so stop trying to play it down
. Can you go and save the world elsewhere please?

OP posts:

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