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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter dragged on floor by Entertainer

199 replies

Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 20:13

My 8 year old was at School today and it was Pirate Day so they had an pretend pirate come in and do some activities. She has been in tears this evening saying the class was in a circle and he came up and frightened her and grabbed her by the foot then proceeded to drag her on the floor so she was on her back in front of every one being dragged around. She said it was supposed to be a joke but she was scared and it hurt her back. Is it me? Aibu? I'm extremely concerned.

OP posts:
Smallhorse · 01/11/2018 22:23

Got to agree with Katharine.
Actually a similar thing happened to me at a similar age and I was v embarrassed. But not for long

Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 22:23

I will find out first exactly what happened.

OP posts:
user789653241 · 01/11/2018 22:24

I have actually seen this happen, the child dragged by legs by an adult.
It happened at martial arts club, as a joke. My ds was laughing while dragged around, so were most of the kids, but one girl started crying, not because of humiliation I suppose, since she was laughing along, but it hurt her some how. So it could have been fine if it didn't hurt her, but she was hurt, dragged from sitting. You really can't say it's not a big deal without knowing facts.

Tomatoesrock · 01/11/2018 22:24

It went seriously wrong for the entertainer. He probably meant to be funny. HE failed.

My DD would be mortified in this situation, some DC might laugh it is irrelevant
It was NOT funny for her, he should never touch a child.

Check with the school but you know it happened. I hope your DD feels better soon.

Xihha · 01/11/2018 22:26

OP. Talk to the school, that is not on. Some kids might have found it funny, mine probably would, but lots of children would have been upset by that and it could have really hurt her.

@KatharineHilbery so you've done a bit of poverty tourism, so what? As a teenager I was thrown out to live on the streets with just the clothes I was wearing, no coat or shoes, because I had been raped and was therefore dirty. It was pretty fucking shit, there wasn't even a shack, or cooker, or bed, just a shop doorway and the constant fear of the abuse rough sleepers get far too often. I've seen worse things and heard far, far worse stories that aren't mine to share. It doesn't cancel out other people's problems!

Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 22:28

Thank you tomatoes she said her back is sore and was crying and said she was really scared. According to some people here I should have dismissed her and told her it doesn't matter and people are forced into prostitution and her problem is completely irrelevant! 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 22:30

Thanks Xihha and sorry to hear your story. That must have been terrible.

OP posts:
BettyBooper · 01/11/2018 22:33

Finding out what happened before outrage would be good. Also @katherinehilbery I hear what you're saying....

Notcontent · 01/11/2018 22:34

Actually, I can also visualise this happening, with the guy making it part of his pirate routine, and yes, it would be potentially painful and humiliating.

elfycat · 01/11/2018 22:35

Xihha Flowers I'd say something but fear it might sound trite or patronising, but I hope you are very, very far from that place now.

GunpowderGelatine · 01/11/2018 22:39

Katherine congratulations you've posted the most MN post of MN ever. Presumably only the worst off person in the world is allowed to be grumpy about their situation and everyone else should sigh and say "oh well it could be worse"?

GunpowderGelatine · 01/11/2018 22:40

And YY to poverty tourism - enjoy going home to your warm 4-bed detaches house in Surrey

Witchesbritches · 01/11/2018 22:41

What are children made of these days that you mustn’t touch one?

It’s getting utterly ridiculous.

RebelWitchFace · 01/11/2018 22:43

@Witchesbritches why would you want to touch random kids anyways?

Xihha · 01/11/2018 22:45

Diamond Its fine, it was a long time ago, just annoyed me that a poster seeing some poor people somehow made some idiot hurting your daughter ok. It doesn't. I hope her backs better soon.

elfycat Life is pretty good now thanks, its taken a while but I'm mostly happy with my life and I'm proud of who I have grown up to be.

Beeziekn33ze · 01/11/2018 22:47

Xihha - 😢 So sorry and wishing you well.

user789653241 · 01/11/2018 22:47

Witchesbritches, yes, I think it's common sense these days that you shouldn't touch other people. It's not ridiculous. OP's dd was hurt and humiliated. It's wrong in every sense. If she found it funny and laughed, it might have been ok, but it wasn't. Everyone is different, and parents need to protect their children.

GunpowderGelatine · 01/11/2018 22:50

@Witchesbritches how do you feel about random people touching you? Would you like it if one grabbed you by the foot and dragged you round?

ballsdeep · 01/11/2018 22:52

Where the hell was the teacher???

Onceuponatime21 · 01/11/2018 22:54

if you're going to go into school, you need to be clear about what it is that you want. Do you want them to tell the entertainer to drop that bit from his act, or do you want them not to use him again? Do you want them to do anything, or are you just telling them she didn't like it? If you want them to do something, what are you going to do if they disagree?

For every child that disliked the experience, another will have enjoyed it. It's a bell curve.

If no action required by school, Does it actually warrant a conversation or can you just put a note in her reading book explaining DD was unhappy and why (or whatever communication method your school uses). ?

KatharineHilbery · 01/11/2018 22:59

This reply has been deleted

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llangennith · 01/11/2018 22:59

I really can't imagine any child enjoying the experience of suddenly being pursued and then dragged around the floor by a grown man in a pirate costume.
The school needs to know your DD was very upset and they should contact the pretend pirate to express their disapproval and concern.

GunpowderGelatine · 01/11/2018 23:07

So you don't live in a shack then? You made a ridiculous comment and you've been given fitting responses. Problems are all relative, even non-shack related ones

Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 23:07

Yes thanks guys. I thought it's worth me going in and finding what happened. I'm concerned and thinking he should drop this from his act. I wouldn't want another child to be upset like mine was. At least make the school aware of the situation. I would never dismiss my daughter with a problem like this. I don't think it's trivial. It may seem trivial to world hunger and third world countries but this was a problem to her. She felt embarrassed, hurt and upset by the experience. I would not dismiss her as I want to be approachable and should something occur again I want her to know she can come to me. Bit surprised by some of the responses saying she's a snowflake that she didn't like being followed and grabbed by the foot and dragged on the floor in front of classmates. All the others here that think it's acceptable must have no problem if someone come up and did this to them without warning.

OP posts:
user789653241 · 01/11/2018 23:08

Katharine, if you have felt hurt and upset by rudeness on this thread, you should really understand how some 8 year old, maybe not all, could have felt the same about what happened to her?
It's nothing wrong with a parents to be upset about their children being hurt and want to do something about it.
Of course they need to find out the facts and be rational, but you can't really minimize someone's feeling because it's not a big deal compared to your standard.