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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter dragged on floor by Entertainer

199 replies

Diamondangel8 · 01/11/2018 20:13

My 8 year old was at School today and it was Pirate Day so they had an pretend pirate come in and do some activities. She has been in tears this evening saying the class was in a circle and he came up and frightened her and grabbed her by the foot then proceeded to drag her on the floor so she was on her back in front of every one being dragged around. She said it was supposed to be a joke but she was scared and it hurt her back. Is it me? Aibu? I'm extremely concerned.

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2018 07:09

I don't think this is an unlikely scenario at all. Children entertainers, I am convinced, have all emerged from the embers of hell itself. I once saw one motorboat a mother!

JustDanceAddict · 02/11/2018 07:34

I have certainly come across an entertainer who manage to embarrass me (as an adult at a parent event) in front of my friends and other parents. He laboured a joke which was barely funny the first time and got more humiliating as the evening went on. He thought he knew me well enough to take the piss (I had used him myself previously without incident for my kids things). He didn’t.

WellThisIsShit · 02/11/2018 07:41

I hope you get some answers today OP

Strugglingtodomybest · 02/11/2018 08:17

bangandthedirtisgon it's really not nice to harass other posters by bringing up other threads of theirs, it's a bit stalkerish don't you think?

When did this become acceptable? It used to be a complete no-no on here.

Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 08:28

Queenofthesandals I wanted an unbiaised view but when someone dismisses it as first world problems compared to third world problems and prostitution that's sheer stupidity. I had my daughter scared stiff and crying at home and in dont think bringing up prostitution was helpful. She was trying to make me out to be irrational which I am not! I'm phoning up the school shortly as I'll be at work.

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 02/11/2018 08:58

Did you get any answers OP?

I can't quite believe the minimisation on this thread. I'm sure those saying it's not a big deal would just love to be dragged around by a stranger in front of their friends

Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 09:22

Thanks I phoned up the school and they are speaking to the teacher and phoning me back. I've mentioned that U think in future this "Entertainer" should check with the child first if going to do this as part of his routine. My daughter said he wasn't trying to be nasty and he did it as a joke but she said it hurt being dragged and her back is still sore and she was embarrassed as everyone was laughing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 09:23

*I think

OP posts:
VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 10:51

My daughter said he wasn't trying to be nasty and he did it as a joke but she said it hurt being dragged and her back is still sore and she was embarrassed as everyone was laughing

In that case then, it doesn't sound like it was meant to be malicious at all, if it was pirate themed, sounds like it was all part of the being a pirate act.
I picture it as "ARRR, come with me and I'll have you walk the plank me hearrrty!"
Sounds like he just misjudged your daughter.
How would it work if as part of his pirate routine he had to go "would you mind awfully if you came walked the plank with me and maybe sign this disclaimer first?!"
If it was my kids I'd be more like "aw, sure he didn't mean to hurt you, and offer a plaster or something lol.
I'd hate to be a teacher or an entertainer nowadays, you'd be too scared to say boo.
Or ARRRR on pirate day too loudly.

kaytee87 · 02/11/2018 10:58

@VerbeenaBeeks the entertainer shouldn't have touching children as part of their routine at all. There's no need for it whatsoever

Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 11:10

She was scared she said he was chopping watermelons aggressively with a sword and kept looking at her and then grabbed her by the foot out of the blue and dragging her round. I'm quite shocked by it. I personally wouldn't want to be dragged on my back in front of others and everyone having a good laugh at my expense.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 11:11

Clearly it's ok cos it's a child!

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 11:12

I agree kaytee87

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VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 11:15

Clearly it's ok cos it's a child!

Hmm You asked for opinions. I gave you mine. Did I say it's OK just because she's a child? No. I said it sounded like part of the pirate routine.
I stand by when I said it sounds like he misjudged your daughter - if she thinks the pirate chopped the watermelon too scarily, it sounds like it wasn't really a party she was going to enjoy anyway even if there was no physical contact.

ChasedByBees · 02/11/2018 11:18

It sounds inappropriate to me - there’s quite a few people who would find this scary and painful so he shouldn’t be doing it, regardless of his intentions.

Original poster
Diamondangel8 · 02/11/2018 11:22

Would you be ok with this verbena if you were in the audience an he came and did this to you? Dragged you on the floor on your back? While we all laugh. I would honestly like to know.. Would you laugh it off or be embarrassed?

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 02/11/2018 11:28

Sounds like the entertainer misjudged what was appropriate actually

Jaxhog · 02/11/2018 11:36

It sounds totally inappropriate to me. I hope your Headmistress agrees and this person isn't hired again (by any school).

SplishSplashSplosh · 02/11/2018 11:36

I have a 5.5 year old and if this had been my child and she came home upset like your daughter was.... I would definitely be speaking to the school and finding out what had happened.

I wouldn't allow her to drag another child around by the foot and would not expect/allow an adult to be doing it to her, regardless of whether they thought it would be funny or not.

Unfinishedkitchen · 02/11/2018 11:38

I hope the minimisers get grabbed by the foot and dragged around the floor by a coworker today or maybe if they’re a SAHM, some massiverandom bloke at soft play. They’d better not complain either coz it’s just bantz innit?

Toddleoo · 02/11/2018 11:44

That's completely unacceptable, entertainers shouldn't really be touching kids at all let alone where it could possibly scare them or hurt them, how is it worth it 'for laughs'? And 'first world problems' means your taxi was 5 mins late to go shopping or your latte had full fat milk instead of semi skimmed in - this is a child being hurt unnecessarily, that's a genuine issue whether it's by an entertainer at school or the pimp at the crack house Hmm

VerbeenaBeeks · 02/11/2018 11:49

I hope the minimisers get grabbed by the foot and dragged around the floor by a coworker today or maybe if they’re a SAHM, some massiverandom bloke at soft play. They’d better not complain either coz it’s just bantz innit?

Confused That's not even a comparable situation. Some randomer "big" bloke grabs you or your kid by the foot at soft play, you'd quite rightly be "WTF are you doing?" Grin
A pirate acts like a pirate at a pirate party, different context and scenario.
The child was upset before any leg grabbing (which OK, know your audience if you're wanting to include that in your pirate routine!) as the watermelon was being chopped up aggressively.
Pirates will chop it up aggressively, they won't slice it carefully Masterchef style, will they?
That conjures up a weird image of a new age, gentle, politically correct pirate...

BigChocFrenzy · 02/11/2018 11:58

I don't see why a man grabbing a child by the leg, dragging her across the floor, hurting & humiliating her can ever be ok

Would the minimisers think it ok if the man were a teacher ?
Maybe a daily feature of lessons to teach "resilience to snowflakes" ?

I come from the time when we were smacked & caned at school, had board-rubbers and books thrown at our heads by teachers.
Yes, I survived, but I resented & hated school
and I don't want to roll back decades of progress, just because I had it much worse

BigChocFrenzy · 02/11/2018 12:01

Of course, the OP will know how to proceed once the school gives her their version of what happened

She did the right thing to enquire, not to just minimise when her DD alleges inappropriate behaviour
Her DD knows in future, that her mum has her back

Isitweekendyet · 02/11/2018 12:02

We teach our children their bodies are their own.

No one has to touch them if they do not feel comfortable.

I find the insinuation she should just get on with it because it was for showman ship appalling.

Indeed, the entertainer meant no harm and misjudged the situation entirely, however she was left feeling upset and embarrassed and those feelings need validating entirely.

No one should put their hands on another without permission, regardless of age or intention.

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